The Week That Was
Monday was pleasant, except that Dianne must raise her supplemental oxygen intake to 8 litres. Tuesday i got my regular shot of avistan, pretty useless for the rest of the day. Wednesday at my overly solicitous cardiiologists where she was able to find something new to worry about (increased blood flow through catartit artery). Returned to find that the dishwasher would not drain. Flooded Kitchen floor trying unsuccessfully to unpllug it. Almost as many things don't work properly in the kitchen as do. Thursday, a trek to Dianne's pulmonologist to confirm that she needs more oxygen and adjust BiPAP (which will now be an EPAP?) and add corticosteroid to her meds. Friday the appliance repairman fixed diswasher, gargage disposal, and clothes dryer. Saturday, wiped out. Slept most of the day. No writing and very little reading. Scanning my friends page i see i am missing much of what is going on in your lives while so little is going on in mine. Outer confusion is reflected inwardly (or vice versa.)
Dianne continues to be the spiritual, moral, and emotional core of the household while the numbers say she is declining physically. I am trying to trust her more than the numbers. She says she is fine, the numbers say she isn't. But we are managing. I am not yet used to having everybody treat us as "old." Increased need for oxygen will necessitate new equipment including a concentrator (I hope they have fixed the noise problem on thpse things.). Her spitits are high, complaints are few.
I would like to "go gentle into that good night," but find myself raging "against the dimming of the light." Sixteen years ago i was told i would be blind in six months. Fortuntely, my macular degeneration is of the "wet" varoety which can be treated. Deterioration has been exceedingly slow (with even a little improvement from time to time), but it has occurred. It is so true that the sixth and seventh "ages of man" seem to repeat the second and first only backwards. I have returned tochildhood (childlikeness was voluntary, childishness involuntary). cam infancy be far behing? I regularlly discover limitations that i did not previously have. I need to better nurtue a spiriotual state and outlook appropriate to my age.