Murder, Mystery, Page 12
Reuben looked sad and sounded hurt. So now you think that Joseph or I could have killed Elizabeth?
No, of course not, replied Esther. But i have to talk to you about it. You were there, hours, perhaps minutes after she was slain. You might have seen something you did not know you saw. You might know something you do not think you know, Your consciousness misses something and then sometime later an incident, a thought, a scent -- something, brings back a memory of something you never thought you knew had occurred.
Reuben had never told her why he went to Mt. Merow, or just what he saw or when he saw it. Reuben had needed to pray in the solitude of the wilderness. He walked toward Merow in the early morning and climbed to a spot overlooking a valley at about mid morning. He had seen the bodies and gone down to see if anyone needed help. He did not remember how he got down into the valley; but he was there, looking into the sightless eyes of his beloved. He recalled screaming and throwing himself upon her. Then he ran back to tell Esther at her village north of Capernaum.
Esther noted that Reuben had come to her in late afternoon He had arrived at Merow mid-morning. He had not prayed, he had spent no more than an hour, perhaps only a few minutes as the massacre scene, Then he had run to tell Esther, This would have taken until early afternoon at most. About two hours are not accounted for. What happened during those two hours.
Reuben did not know. He wanted to know, but he did not know. Had he "gone away" again. Surely, not. He would not leave Elizabeth alone in such a degrading position, tossed atop a pile of dismembered male bodies. He could not! Yet Esther was right. Time had passed that day that he could not account for.
He did not know yet that these "departures" occurred at times of severe trauma, But Esther had figured it out. She had watched Reuben stay yet "disappear" several times since their childhood. Reuben was still there, doing what Reuben was expected to do, acting as though he were the Reuben she knew. But her sense was that this was someone else pretending to be Reuben. Not until this moment had she been able to articulate this idea. What could she do about it? Could she somehow force Reuben to remember what he could or would not remember? Perhaps it would be better to hold off for the time being.
Esther was certain now that Reuben had experienced something horrible on Merow, something more horrible than the death of his beloved. Something so horrible that he could not allow himself to know he knew it.
Reuben struggled to no avail with his uncooperative mind. More than ever he wanted to help.