Artistic License Revocation.
About two weeks ago, I bought a bed to replace my horrible excuse of a futon. I disassembled the futon, and the large pieces of shrapnel are still against the wall in the corner of my living room, waiting to be moved to the transfer station. Then I began thinking "Hmmm, maybe I can just donate it to a local abstract artist". And while I'm at it, I would buy him a sandwich. Because everyone knows that abstract artists are starving artists. Literally.
There are a couple things in this life that I will never ever understand for the entire fiber of my being. One is braille on drive-up ATMs. Two is people who voted for George W. Bush. Three is the startling similarities between mindless zombies and WoW freaks (but that's a rant for another day). And number four? Abstract art.
The term "art" is obviously very expansive. Name your medium. Paint and canvas. An electric guitar. Crayons. The dance stage. It's about just anything your imagination can come up. Just as long is it comes from your mind, heart, and soul. That said, it also has to be SOMETHING. Representation is all well and good, but make it correlate in some regard. If it takes way too much of a stretch to make sense, you have to get something else together.
That's not how you feel about your father. It's a collection of kitchen silverware covered in Hello Kitty stickers held together by electrician's tape.
That's not your thoughts on the war. It's an old tire with red paint splattered on it.
That's not your confused tormented soul. It's carefully placed shrapnel welded together. In fact, it actually kinda looks like an elephant. No really, if you look at it from this angle. Seriously, come stand over where I am and you can see it. A little bit. Kinda.
To the nines, abstract art is about what you see something as. Therefore what one person sees is completely the opposite of someone else sees. And everyone is completely wrong. The onlookers are saying "I can definitely sense pain and anguish". The artist is saying "What?! No! How do you not see it?! It's my passion for Oyster Bay!". Meanwhile, I'm saying "It's a fucking purple triangle!"
I know what you're saying. "You just don't get it, Bobbo!" Well frankly, I don't want to get it. If a stack of plywood is art, don't mind my awkward gawking in perplexity. And don't dare think I'm concrete. I am certainly not. But it would take a bloody freak to figure out what some of these concept art pieces mean.
You know what abstract art is? You know when your friend says to you "Oh man, I heard the funniest joke the other day". So when he tells you, the punchline is so lame that you don't pick it up for a second. So you wait a second and say "Yeah?" like you're waiting for him to continue. But he just repeats the punchline again waiting for you to laugh. You get it the second time, but it's not funny at all. But just to humor him, you say "Ohhhhh, alright. Ha ha. Good one".
OH MY GOD ART!
There are a couple things in this life that I will never ever understand for the entire fiber of my being. One is braille on drive-up ATMs. Two is people who voted for George W. Bush. Three is the startling similarities between mindless zombies and WoW freaks (but that's a rant for another day). And number four? Abstract art.
The term "art" is obviously very expansive. Name your medium. Paint and canvas. An electric guitar. Crayons. The dance stage. It's about just anything your imagination can come up. Just as long is it comes from your mind, heart, and soul. That said, it also has to be SOMETHING. Representation is all well and good, but make it correlate in some regard. If it takes way too much of a stretch to make sense, you have to get something else together.
That's not how you feel about your father. It's a collection of kitchen silverware covered in Hello Kitty stickers held together by electrician's tape.
That's not your thoughts on the war. It's an old tire with red paint splattered on it.
That's not your confused tormented soul. It's carefully placed shrapnel welded together. In fact, it actually kinda looks like an elephant. No really, if you look at it from this angle. Seriously, come stand over where I am and you can see it. A little bit. Kinda.
To the nines, abstract art is about what you see something as. Therefore what one person sees is completely the opposite of someone else sees. And everyone is completely wrong. The onlookers are saying "I can definitely sense pain and anguish". The artist is saying "What?! No! How do you not see it?! It's my passion for Oyster Bay!". Meanwhile, I'm saying "It's a fucking purple triangle!"
I know what you're saying. "You just don't get it, Bobbo!" Well frankly, I don't want to get it. If a stack of plywood is art, don't mind my awkward gawking in perplexity. And don't dare think I'm concrete. I am certainly not. But it would take a bloody freak to figure out what some of these concept art pieces mean.
You know what abstract art is? You know when your friend says to you "Oh man, I heard the funniest joke the other day". So when he tells you, the punchline is so lame that you don't pick it up for a second. So you wait a second and say "Yeah?" like you're waiting for him to continue. But he just repeats the punchline again waiting for you to laugh. You get it the second time, but it's not funny at all. But just to humor him, you say "Ohhhhh, alright. Ha ha. Good one".
OH MY GOD ART!