Cereal Numbers.
Now that Gabe has revealed his #1 cereal, I feel like it is my duty to completely rip off his idea.
Just kidding. Actually, I only at one point thought about ganking the cereal countdown from my favorite 'roider, and that was only to piss him off in attempts for him to get it over with. But then after challenging one of his selections, he defied me to spew what my list would be to him. So now I have a nice viable excuse to fire the proverbial trigger. So here we go, to dispute Gabe's pathetic attempt at cereal placement, I will once again school him at his own game.
#5
"They don't taste like apples". Shut the fuck up. They taste like sunshine and rainbows... also pungent cinnamon. They munch and crunch with deliciousness. And after you finish off the bowl, the milk is tainted with the remnants of the delicious psuedo-apple flavor. It's a cereal that pleases all the taste buds (except the bitter ones, but honestly, who gives a shit about them anyway).
#4
Jacks are all well and good, but if I'm looking for a heavy duty cinnamon load, I seek the box with the crazy cartoon baker on it. This cereal is absolutely overflowing with cinnamoniness. You take the first spoonful and BAM; explosion of cinnamon in your mouth. You'll start shovelling it into your mouth lightning quick, and before you know it, you're staring at an empty bowl. It's one of the greatest rewards for a tongue that doesn't involve a woman.
#3
Tony the Tiger ain't no liar. These things are grrrrreeeeeaaaaaat! Whoever decided to take corn flakes and douse them in sugar should be given the Medal of Honor. Seriously, the flavor is so irresistable it could stop wars, thus justifying his acclaimation of the Medal of Honor. I recall once having one of those huge "family size" boxes of FFs. It was gone in two days. I couldn't help myself. It was the only thing I ate in those two days, and I did not give a damn at all. Every now and then, I even add a little packet of sugar to the bowl for extra sugary goodness. Diabetics should turn away.
#2
The only cereal that Gabe and I have inherently agreed on in the list (Count Chocular; good, but not Top 5 material in my book). This cereal has it all: sugary sugar lumps of sugar, grainy grains that meld well with sugary sugar lumps, mascot that abuses an Irish stereotype. Yep, that's everything I need. The proportion of marshmellow to grains is perfect. Too many mashmellows makes the cereal seem like overkill (and sugarhigh). But at 3 to 1 grains to mallows, it's a beautiful thing. And your milk turns BLUE! Fuck yeah! That's some leprachan magic right there.
And my favorite cereal in the hsitory of ever?
#1
Oh sweet mother of golden honey grain in milk deliciiousness. This was an easy pick in this fact: I don't think I've ever had just one bowl of Golden Grahams. The enticing honeyness is like heroin to my tastebuds, demanding more and more until the box is empty... or until my stomach tells them to cease and desist, whichever comes first. These rectangles of sunshine and smiles induce happiness wherever they are had.
Just kidding. Actually, I only at one point thought about ganking the cereal countdown from my favorite 'roider, and that was only to piss him off in attempts for him to get it over with. But then after challenging one of his selections, he defied me to spew what my list would be to him. So now I have a nice viable excuse to fire the proverbial trigger. So here we go, to dispute Gabe's pathetic attempt at cereal placement, I will once again school him at his own game.
#5
"They don't taste like apples". Shut the fuck up. They taste like sunshine and rainbows... also pungent cinnamon. They munch and crunch with deliciousness. And after you finish off the bowl, the milk is tainted with the remnants of the delicious psuedo-apple flavor. It's a cereal that pleases all the taste buds (except the bitter ones, but honestly, who gives a shit about them anyway).
#4
Jacks are all well and good, but if I'm looking for a heavy duty cinnamon load, I seek the box with the crazy cartoon baker on it. This cereal is absolutely overflowing with cinnamoniness. You take the first spoonful and BAM; explosion of cinnamon in your mouth. You'll start shovelling it into your mouth lightning quick, and before you know it, you're staring at an empty bowl. It's one of the greatest rewards for a tongue that doesn't involve a woman.
#3
Tony the Tiger ain't no liar. These things are grrrrreeeeeaaaaaat! Whoever decided to take corn flakes and douse them in sugar should be given the Medal of Honor. Seriously, the flavor is so irresistable it could stop wars, thus justifying his acclaimation of the Medal of Honor. I recall once having one of those huge "family size" boxes of FFs. It was gone in two days. I couldn't help myself. It was the only thing I ate in those two days, and I did not give a damn at all. Every now and then, I even add a little packet of sugar to the bowl for extra sugary goodness. Diabetics should turn away.
#2
The only cereal that Gabe and I have inherently agreed on in the list (Count Chocular; good, but not Top 5 material in my book). This cereal has it all: sugary sugar lumps of sugar, grainy grains that meld well with sugary sugar lumps, mascot that abuses an Irish stereotype. Yep, that's everything I need. The proportion of marshmellow to grains is perfect. Too many mashmellows makes the cereal seem like overkill (and sugarhigh). But at 3 to 1 grains to mallows, it's a beautiful thing. And your milk turns BLUE! Fuck yeah! That's some leprachan magic right there.
And my favorite cereal in the hsitory of ever?
#1
Oh sweet mother of golden honey grain in milk deliciiousness. This was an easy pick in this fact: I don't think I've ever had just one bowl of Golden Grahams. The enticing honeyness is like heroin to my tastebuds, demanding more and more until the box is empty... or until my stomach tells them to cease and desist, whichever comes first. These rectangles of sunshine and smiles induce happiness wherever they are had.