Guitar-Savvy Girls? Not Today.
[[Pictures among post. Will cut upon request]]
I have a bone to pick with people. More specifically women (what else is new?). Not applicable to all women, obviously. But applicable to enough to have me rant about it. Today's rambling is due to the age-old adage...
"Chicks dig guitars"
Don't cause an uproar and think that I harkon it to be a load of shit. It's not. It is true. Very true. Personal experience included. I mean, you can take one ugly son of a bitch. If you stick a guitar in his hands, two or three more girls would go "Hey, Dave" in the span of a day. It's not going to make you an automatic sex symbol, but it doesn't hurt. Take these fine examples for ... ... example:
Slash from Guns n' Roses.
He looks more like your lazyass college roommate who never went to any of his classes.
Slash + guitar
Yeeeeah. And that image bagged him this...
Beautiful pregnant supermodel. Boy got DOWN! Guitar can do wonders.
Here's an interesting case...
Me
Ugh. What woman would want that? But wait...
Me + guitar?
Whoa, please ladies, there's enough to go around.
And it even works gender-reversed.
Paz Lenchantin alone?
Cute.. kinda homely
Paz with a guitar, or in this case, bass.
Infinitely sexier.
So the phrase has it's bearings.
Anyway, back to the point of this rant.
"Chicks dig guitars". And rightfully so. But girls these days are digging a new kind of guitar. The wrong kind of guitar. Before all you needed was a killer looking rig, a DigiTech effects pedal, and to play the opening riff to "Sweet Child O' Mine"and the ladies would be all up ons. But nowadays, girls seem to drool whenever they see an acoustic guitar. Not that there's anything wrong with the acoustic or anything. But come on, it's all about the electric. Then when the first sentence out of their mouths is "Do you know any Jack Johnson?", you know something is wrong. No, I don't know any Jack Johnson. Fuck off.
Women seemingly don't seem to dig hard electronic, don't give a fuck stuff anymore. They dig emotional, touchey-feely, I can play 3 different chords on acoustic guitar whiny crap. Anyone else think there's something wrong with that? When girls get more excited about a run of the mill Taylor acoustic guitar in a guy's room than a Les Paul next to a Peavey amplifier, things have to change. We need someone who will nip this emotional acoustic Jack Johnson John Mayer pussification thing in the bud. We need someone who will reach, not only the ears, but the eyes, hearts, and nether regions of women. We need someone, pardon the overusage, who will bring sexy back. And I can think of only one person fit for the job:
Jav.
The world is counting on you.
Are YOU a bad enough dude to retake the power of the fickle girls who once found their passion founded in electric guitars but now all of a sudden find moody dumbshit acoustic guitars more to their liking?
I guess what I'm trying to say with this post is... fuck Jack Johnson. Stop brainwashing all of our women, dammit.
I have a bone to pick with people. More specifically women (what else is new?). Not applicable to all women, obviously. But applicable to enough to have me rant about it. Today's rambling is due to the age-old adage...
"Chicks dig guitars"
Don't cause an uproar and think that I harkon it to be a load of shit. It's not. It is true. Very true. Personal experience included. I mean, you can take one ugly son of a bitch. If you stick a guitar in his hands, two or three more girls would go "Hey, Dave" in the span of a day. It's not going to make you an automatic sex symbol, but it doesn't hurt. Take these fine examples for ... ... example:
Slash from Guns n' Roses.
He looks more like your lazyass college roommate who never went to any of his classes.
Slash + guitar
Yeeeeah. And that image bagged him this...
Beautiful pregnant supermodel. Boy got DOWN! Guitar can do wonders.
Here's an interesting case...
Me
Ugh. What woman would want that? But wait...
Me + guitar?
Whoa, please ladies, there's enough to go around.
And it even works gender-reversed.
Paz Lenchantin alone?
Cute.. kinda homely
Paz with a guitar, or in this case, bass.
Infinitely sexier.
So the phrase has it's bearings.
Anyway, back to the point of this rant.
"Chicks dig guitars". And rightfully so. But girls these days are digging a new kind of guitar. The wrong kind of guitar. Before all you needed was a killer looking rig, a DigiTech effects pedal, and to play the opening riff to "Sweet Child O' Mine"and the ladies would be all up ons. But nowadays, girls seem to drool whenever they see an acoustic guitar. Not that there's anything wrong with the acoustic or anything. But come on, it's all about the electric. Then when the first sentence out of their mouths is "Do you know any Jack Johnson?", you know something is wrong. No, I don't know any Jack Johnson. Fuck off.
Women seemingly don't seem to dig hard electronic, don't give a fuck stuff anymore. They dig emotional, touchey-feely, I can play 3 different chords on acoustic guitar whiny crap. Anyone else think there's something wrong with that? When girls get more excited about a run of the mill Taylor acoustic guitar in a guy's room than a Les Paul next to a Peavey amplifier, things have to change. We need someone who will nip this emotional acoustic Jack Johnson John Mayer pussification thing in the bud. We need someone who will reach, not only the ears, but the eyes, hearts, and nether regions of women. We need someone, pardon the overusage, who will bring sexy back. And I can think of only one person fit for the job:
Jav.
The world is counting on you.
Are YOU a bad enough dude to retake the power of the fickle girls who once found their passion founded in electric guitars but now all of a sudden find moody dumbshit acoustic guitars more to their liking?
I guess what I'm trying to say with this post is... fuck Jack Johnson. Stop brainwashing all of our women, dammit.