The slow fade of love, its soft edge might cut you
I wish I could videotape the way the sunlight is rushing through the trees outside my window and dancing into my eyes, so perfectly to the beat of the Rilo Kiley song playing on my computer.
It was a nice weekend, "surprising" Lexie with a roomful of love, doing lots of beautiful nothing with my sister and corrupting many small cousins last night to the wonders of the internet :-).
I'm finding more ways to break up the tedium of everydaylife, more creative outlets. But he's left me quite empty of those butterflies, and I don't know if I'll ever again be able to hope that way, at least for a while.
(I keep fearing May, fearing and Dreading, that the inexplicit feeling of loneliness will dominate again, just like last year, and push aside the memories of previous months. I know in my heart that my friends are truer now, more loyal and having more substance, but to me May signifies something that I have no control over.)
It was a nice weekend, "surprising" Lexie with a roomful of love, doing lots of beautiful nothing with my sister and corrupting many small cousins last night to the wonders of the internet :-).
I'm finding more ways to break up the tedium of everydaylife, more creative outlets. But he's left me quite empty of those butterflies, and I don't know if I'll ever again be able to hope that way, at least for a while.
(I keep fearing May, fearing and Dreading, that the inexplicit feeling of loneliness will dominate again, just like last year, and push aside the memories of previous months. I know in my heart that my friends are truer now, more loyal and having more substance, but to me May signifies something that I have no control over.)