Ch 2.
"You trust me don't you," he said. Of course he would say something like that, at a time like this.
"Of course I trust you," I replied, biting my nails. Why did he have to be like this, why now?
"And you love me?"
"Of course." Here it comes. I can hear it coming. Just like they tell you it will happen, in the movies and afterschool specials you watch with your mother. 'This is how to say no.' 'You don't have to.' 'If you love me you'll wait.' But, it's not like that. When it feels good and you've been debating already and then he just happens to say those words... the whole world seems to be perfectly aligned for it to happen.
"Then, let's do it baby. It will bring us closer," he said, sounding incredibly appealing.
"Oh, god Jeramy, alright... okay," I said quietly, uneasy, not believing what I just agreed to.
We were already undressed, laying on his bed, his head resting on my chest, his hand cupping my breast. He smiled big and I felt him get a little harder. He'd done it before. He'd done it alot before, to be specific. He'd had girlfriends and one night stands. He'd done it standing, missionary, in a pool, in a shower, he'd done it cars and once on a bench at the park. I knew all this because we had talked about it. We talked about it because Jeramy and I talked about everything, because Jeramy and I were best friends above all else.
He got up on his elbows and hovered over me. He leaned down and kissed me and used his knee to open my legs. I did, shaking from fear and excitement for what was about to happen. Jeramy was about to be my first. All I could think about was how my friend told me once it hurts so bad the first 5 times and staring into Jeramy's eyes, I'm not sure he cared. He leaned on one elbow and reached down with his hand. He aimed and I felt his penis almost touching me. He brought his arm back up and held himself up agian. He pushed himself inside. I felt like my insides were ripping. He pushed himself harder and I watched as his face crinkled. I could tell it must have felt good, but my eyes welled with tears and then they erupted and rolled down my face.
My mother wanted me to always be safe. If I was going to do anything with any boy she told me that she wanted to know. She wanted me to tell her so that we could make sure it was all safe and planned out and I wouldn't be hurt.
I was hurt. Just like my friend had said, it did hurt. Jeramy pulled himself out a little and pushed in again. It felt the same. He scrunched his face more and bit his lip. He moaned.
"God, your so tight," he said into my ear.
"How good does this feel," he asked.
I didn't respond. It didn't feel good, but I liked that he was enjoying it. I tried to relax. My muscles were tense and unprepared. They were in shock.
He sat up and looked into my face.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, not moving inside me for a moment.
"Yes."
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No."
And he didn't. He moved himself slowly in and out in and out, putting more of himself in me every time. My entire body screamed. It ached and tightened and begged for him to leave me. He suddenly thrust deep, putting all of him inside me and moaned. I yelped and more tears fell down my face.
"Jeramy please, please," I begged.
He layed on top of me a moment, catching his breath, and then he pulled himself out.
"Wow baby," he said.
I didn't respond. I felt raw, inside and out. He got up and wiped himself off on one of his shirts laying on the floor. He walked over to me and layed next to me. I dug my head into his neck and felt my eyes get wet. I couldn't help but cry. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
"What baby? Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice now full of concern. I curled up into him.
"I don't know," I said honestly.
"Of course I trust you," I replied, biting my nails. Why did he have to be like this, why now?
"And you love me?"
"Of course." Here it comes. I can hear it coming. Just like they tell you it will happen, in the movies and afterschool specials you watch with your mother. 'This is how to say no.' 'You don't have to.' 'If you love me you'll wait.' But, it's not like that. When it feels good and you've been debating already and then he just happens to say those words... the whole world seems to be perfectly aligned for it to happen.
"Then, let's do it baby. It will bring us closer," he said, sounding incredibly appealing.
"Oh, god Jeramy, alright... okay," I said quietly, uneasy, not believing what I just agreed to.
We were already undressed, laying on his bed, his head resting on my chest, his hand cupping my breast. He smiled big and I felt him get a little harder. He'd done it before. He'd done it alot before, to be specific. He'd had girlfriends and one night stands. He'd done it standing, missionary, in a pool, in a shower, he'd done it cars and once on a bench at the park. I knew all this because we had talked about it. We talked about it because Jeramy and I talked about everything, because Jeramy and I were best friends above all else.
He got up on his elbows and hovered over me. He leaned down and kissed me and used his knee to open my legs. I did, shaking from fear and excitement for what was about to happen. Jeramy was about to be my first. All I could think about was how my friend told me once it hurts so bad the first 5 times and staring into Jeramy's eyes, I'm not sure he cared. He leaned on one elbow and reached down with his hand. He aimed and I felt his penis almost touching me. He brought his arm back up and held himself up agian. He pushed himself inside. I felt like my insides were ripping. He pushed himself harder and I watched as his face crinkled. I could tell it must have felt good, but my eyes welled with tears and then they erupted and rolled down my face.
My mother wanted me to always be safe. If I was going to do anything with any boy she told me that she wanted to know. She wanted me to tell her so that we could make sure it was all safe and planned out and I wouldn't be hurt.
I was hurt. Just like my friend had said, it did hurt. Jeramy pulled himself out a little and pushed in again. It felt the same. He scrunched his face more and bit his lip. He moaned.
"God, your so tight," he said into my ear.
"How good does this feel," he asked.
I didn't respond. It didn't feel good, but I liked that he was enjoying it. I tried to relax. My muscles were tense and unprepared. They were in shock.
He sat up and looked into my face.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, not moving inside me for a moment.
"Yes."
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No."
And he didn't. He moved himself slowly in and out in and out, putting more of himself in me every time. My entire body screamed. It ached and tightened and begged for him to leave me. He suddenly thrust deep, putting all of him inside me and moaned. I yelped and more tears fell down my face.
"Jeramy please, please," I begged.
He layed on top of me a moment, catching his breath, and then he pulled himself out.
"Wow baby," he said.
I didn't respond. I felt raw, inside and out. He got up and wiped himself off on one of his shirts laying on the floor. He walked over to me and layed next to me. I dug my head into his neck and felt my eyes get wet. I couldn't help but cry. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
"What baby? Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice now full of concern. I curled up into him.
"I don't know," I said honestly.