PSYCH
I find myself pushing good things away before actually getting them. Dakota, for example: sweet guy, seems very interested, texts ALL the time, comes to visit me at work when he can (which is quite often). But I still seem to be stuck on Swede mode because I'm off seeing other poeple and trying so hard to keep that lonely feeling away when all I'm doing is digging a hole for myself along with a very possible "what goes around, comes around" conclusion. So when things happen like today, when I go to MI and wait almost an hour for this guy and fails to appear and has me going home in the worst of moods pushing me back to thinking about Charlie and Arturo, it not only upsets me, it pisses me the fuck off when all it really was was him working on stuff at school for his band and simply couldn't find the time.
BUT
Here's when I think I'm making a excuses for the person in attempts to try to make myself feel better which totally sucks even more because then that's on ME as a person; a low, pathetic with a "will just settle" kind of attitude. Which side of me is right? Someone please tell me because I'm losing my fucking mind.
Jazzlyn says I think wayy too much about everything too often and that I should focus on myself. Very true, I totally agree. I'm still having debates with myself... Ugh.
BUT
Here's when I think I'm making a excuses for the person in attempts to try to make myself feel better which totally sucks even more because then that's on ME as a person; a low, pathetic with a "will just settle" kind of attitude. Which side of me is right? Someone please tell me because I'm losing my fucking mind.
Jazzlyn says I think wayy too much about everything too often and that I should focus on myself. Very true, I totally agree. I'm still having debates with myself... Ugh.