(no subject)
i feel grown up. i feel like everything before was like pre-game shooting, and now we are about to jump ball. i walked in my room at my dad's house. the smell came over me. 'its the feling that you get when you know that something has changed forever.' the feeling i felt was so tramendous and...and....old. from almost two years ago. from when i hugged my pillow, wishing it was a person. from when i was in love with someone i had seen, then created the rest of them in my head. its easier than it may sound. it is amazing to think of the time that has passed. to think of how different i was. how different i am. how different i will be.
i know so many see me as young, like i havent lived much. thats okay though.
sometimes i wonder if things will be the way i dream. i know the possibility is small. even though its small, its still there right?
life is a circus. youre course is the tightwire. there are people/things trying to make you fall from your destin path, down to distruction. the path that will make you who you are meant to be. the bearded lady, the two headed chicken, the lion taimer, even the ring leader. they are all against you. except for your true friends. the net below you, saving you from the snake pit; and the trapeze artists, helping you along you way. there is no limit to how much they can help you, as long as you dont cross them by making a dirty deal with the muscle man. to make it through with triumph, you must believe. see, to make you friends truly exsist, you must have faith in them. they are imaginary, so without faith, they are not really there. it doesnt take faith to create the human cannon ball, which can cross your path from tiem to time, attempting to blurr your vision. or the fire spitter, he can burn you. the sword-swallower will even cut you a deal, but im sure you wont like it. what si this you ask me? o, of course it is possible to amke it to the other side. how?
just believe.
and then it is gone. the love you had the feelings that kept you so occupied. everything you have ever worked for in your life. obliterated.(how long have i been waiting to say that word)
lost and gone.
like you.
i know so many see me as young, like i havent lived much. thats okay though.
sometimes i wonder if things will be the way i dream. i know the possibility is small. even though its small, its still there right?
life is a circus. youre course is the tightwire. there are people/things trying to make you fall from your destin path, down to distruction. the path that will make you who you are meant to be. the bearded lady, the two headed chicken, the lion taimer, even the ring leader. they are all against you. except for your true friends. the net below you, saving you from the snake pit; and the trapeze artists, helping you along you way. there is no limit to how much they can help you, as long as you dont cross them by making a dirty deal with the muscle man. to make it through with triumph, you must believe. see, to make you friends truly exsist, you must have faith in them. they are imaginary, so without faith, they are not really there. it doesnt take faith to create the human cannon ball, which can cross your path from tiem to time, attempting to blurr your vision. or the fire spitter, he can burn you. the sword-swallower will even cut you a deal, but im sure you wont like it. what si this you ask me? o, of course it is possible to amke it to the other side. how?
just believe.
and then it is gone. the love you had the feelings that kept you so occupied. everything you have ever worked for in your life. obliterated.(how long have i been waiting to say that word)
lost and gone.
like you.