Fic: The Phoney War, Chapter Ten

[bob_fish]

Title: The Phoney War, Chapter Ten: Flashpoint
Setting: Fullmetal Alchemist, mangaverse, post-series, slight ending AU.
Characters: Roy/Ed, Havoc/Rebecca, Riza/Miles, Al, Winry, ensemble.
Rating: NC-17 overall, this chapter a mere PG-13
Word count: 8163 this chapter
Summary: Two years on from the Promised Day. Amestris is without a Fuhrer, the

Comments

Part I/II

[tierfal]

THINGS THAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS CHAPTER
a short essay/outline by Tierfal
1. The Hughes flashback. I believe I may have mentioned at some point that your Hughes is brilliant - the perfect mixture of bright and manic and deadly smart. And I think he brings out a very beautiful, cynical-but-reluctantly-trying-to-hope strain in your Roy more than any other character.
a. This. Damn. Line: “What brought on this unannounced, non-consensual therapy session?” Which just so happens to be perfect. XD
b. THIS LINE: “I can’t work out if given the Grand Plan you just don’t want to give hostages to fortune, or if you think you have to kick yourself out of the Human Club for misbehaviour.” Which is perfect in an entirely different way.
c. Hughes brought to his family the same devastating certainty with which he approached all his endeavours. I LOVE this observation about him - and I also really love that the sheer compunction to make a decision and go is something I'd never really noticed that Hughes and Ed have in common. Which then, I think,

Part II/III, actually

[tierfal]

e. as if that was just what naturally happened when Roy’s hands were on his shoulders. And Roy kissed back, because that was what naturally happened when Ed kissed him. *weeping*
f. He’d fallen hard, and that was exactly how it felt: like falling onto concrete and dragging someone else down with him. *WEEPING*
g. He took a step back, until they were too far away to touch. He didn’t say anything. He tried to look cold. *WEEPING*
h. Hero!Ed with his hero's soul. I just. ♥
i. and a fragment of the joy they deserved - *lying on the floor sobbing into the carpet*
j. I love that Roy lets Riza go, which quietly and rather unequivocally proves everything Ed just said.

5. GAH HAVOC/REBECCA NEWLYWEDS SCENE
a. The whole description of Rebecca encapsulates all of her awesome sexy wonderfulness, but this: a girl who looked at him like she couldn't believe her luck; who looked at him the way he looked at her. …just. ;_________; *OTPs for an eternity

…maybe that's more like II-and-a-half?

[tierfal]

7. Something in me expected them to back down or find a way to weasel around the confrontation. I am so glad you went for it - it's terrifying and AWESOME.
a. The eggs in the icebox were stamped with a date a week from now. There'd be a new government by then. Perhaps it would be Roy. Perhaps he would be dead. This is so fucking amazing. Also, Roy, baby, LET ME HOLD YOU~
b. He felt like an idiot. But, he asked himself, how would he feel tomorrow if he didn’t go up? This. This is ED. Doing it because it makes sense and it's right and at that point why would you do anything else? x3
c. He'd bickered aimlessly with Greed and then they'd never spoken again; he'd assumed Hohenheim would be around to bug him forever, and he'd been wrong. This made me suffer beautifully. XD
d. OMG ROY, TRYING THE FRIEND-ZONE? REALLY?? -____-
e. He felt like he wanted to open his chest and show Roy this feeling, to heave it out and say look at this, this is what I’m talking about. Don’t you have this exact thing too? ajkfjdklsajfklds ♥
f. Ed looked at

Re: …maybe that's more like II-and-a-half?

[bob_fish]

7. a) I know, poor Roy. Writing him makes me want to give him a hug sometimes

Re: …maybe that's more like II-and-a-half?

[tierfal]

(which I really, really want there to be fic about, particularly Rose's huge goober crush on Winry)
Okay über-want the whole thing but yes especially this. That scene. With the bath. And the sharing the clothes. And. Just. Honestly, a lot of the reason I've never been able to get into Ed/Win is that she has so much chemistry with every single one of the girls, and then I see her with Ed and am like, "…is that it?" XDDDD

The first time I watched through Brotherhood, I was really focused on the plot and was still reconciling him with 2003's Hohenheim. When I started to revisit episodes with him in them, I just… fell in love. And then wept at the end. XD

is frustrated that he's ending things to be mean to himself or out of misplaced nobility or something.
"Misplaced nobility" has got to be Roy's relationship strategy in a nutshell! Poor babies. ♥

One of my favourite things about writing this get together has been following up extended UST with the two of them just colliding and finding that they're pulled together so

Re: …maybe that's more like II-and-a-half?

[bob_fish]

Manga/Brotherhood Hoho is so lovable! Such a goober, and when you find out what he's been through it's so sad. He has such a long life and really he's only happy during the Trisha years and his time after he's freed and pre-Homuculusgate in Xerxes. And his greatest parenting mistake arises out of trying to do the right thing.

We don't have hohos but I've heard of them through American media!

Re: Part II/III, actually

[bob_fish]

4. Yes! It makes me so happy and squeeful that you're seeing and enjoying in this fic the exact things I wanted to say! Sometimes it's easier to be kind to someone else than to be kind to yourself. And yes, Ed really does have a hero's soul, what a lovely phrase. <3

5. Yes, Havoc is a total hero! Sometimes in fic he's written for comedy or as the doofus to Roy's suave, but he has his own hero's journey (which parallels Ed's, and Al's, and Ran Fan's). Also, he's totally hot. Someone (who is not a sexy deadly homunculus) needs to tap that!

6. Thanks so so much, what a compliment! I do nerd the shit out of the political stuff - it's fun! It's kind of brain-breaking too because everyone's so competent that it's difficult to get them into trouble. I send stuff to my betas going "is there anything they've missed? Are they being smart enough?" I love Team Mustang, though. They're all so distinct. And I loved expanding the team, it's fun seeing what Miles and Ross and Ed and Al bring to the tachi party.

Re: Part II/III, actually

[tierfal]

Ahhhh! I'm delighted I could return the favor, since you always do with mine! :3

jkfldjslkaaaaaaa Havoc. ♥; It wasn't until icequeenrex was fangirling him during one of many FMA discussions that it really occurred to me what a BAMF he is, haha. XD And damn if the "Leave me behind" scene isn't one of the most sob-worthy of the entire SERIES. ;___;

Also, he's totally hot. Someone (who is not a sexy deadly homunculus) needs to tap that!
I… I love you. Like, a lot. XD *produces bouquet of roses*

because everyone's so competent that it's difficult to get them into trouble
This is thing #4,500,324 that I love about your fic - crap happens because there is shit going down, not because somebody veered OOC and did something stupid.

OMFG Miles in this series just just just-

…um… I am so, so, so sorry; I had afternoon coffee later than usual at work and am sort of teetering between regular nighttime tiredness and the caffeine crash, and the combination is making me loopy. XD

Re: Part II/III, actually

[bob_fish]

Oh yes, god, that scene. ;;;_;;; And him and Riza afterwards, talking about what a sap Roy is and whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. It's so cathartic to write about Havoc putting his life back together and getting happy. He deserves it!

Haha, there was this one time in NSI where Riza was going to call Roy with vital info and she actually passed a phone box and thought about Hughes and then was all "nah, I'll call him in the morning" and then got chased by assassins. *mortified.gif* cornerofmadness very gently pointed out that she had picked up the Idiot Ball big time. I couldn't believe I hadn't spotted it, facepalmed forever and then edited that scene on LJ and Ao3 when I joined Ao3, so it's possible you never saw the original doof version. Now she tries to call him and he doesn't pick up because he's popped to the corner shop or something. My beta and I have learnt from the experience, and when we're editing for plot holes we often say No More Phone Booths!

I love Miles! <3

Re: Part II/III, actually

[tierfal]

I have a tendency to get distracted from the main plot of my fics trying to make sure everyone on Team Mustang is okay and happy and coping with all of their respective traumatic experiences, because… because I just love them too much. XDDD

I REMEMBER THAT AUTHOR'S NOTE! I read the fixed version on AO3, yeah, but I read the note and was like, "…oh is editing what most people do when they mess up? Rather than just, y'know, whistling innocently and hoping no one will notice?" XDDD

we often say No More Phone Booths!
And now I want to write a Doctor Who crossover
NO, TIERFAL. NO.

Re: Part II/III, actually

[bob_fish]

Haha, I actually in general tend to leave the terrible mistakes in my fics where they are. There are a whole ton of things that could be edited for various reasons (and if a reader specifically suggested an edit for a good reason I would definitely consider it), but so far I tend only to go there either for silly one or two word errors that are very easy fixes (which I tend to just fix quietly when I spot them) or for big plot holes. I think that scene is the only major change I've ever made to a fic after posting. But it was just such a big facepalm-y mistake, and it's so important to the story's suspense and credibility that everyone on Team Mustang is very much competent and on the case as they are in canon ... Anyway, it was pretty satisfying to find a reasonable fix for that error.

Re: Part II/III, actually

[tierfal]

I'm totally too lazy ever to fix anything except typos and coding errors, hahaha. XD Writing a scene a second time is my single LEAST-favorite thing about writing in general, so I tend to dodge major edits even when I know I'm sabotaging myself. XDDDD

It's a great fix, too, with terrifying Hughes parallels to boot! I have a whole squee-rant about what a perfect example Hughes's death is of how the best narrative tragedies are the ones that are avoidable, where they almost escape their fate, and... yes. XD I need a "Danger: Geek" icon. XD

Re: Part II/III, actually

[bob_fish]

Haha, the terrifying Hughes parallels were unintentionally there in the original version, so I'm glad I found a way to make hay with them

Re: Part II/III, actually

[bob_fish]

we often say No More Phone Booths!
And now I want to write a Doctor Who crossover
NO, TIERFAL. NO.

↑ I just want to point out that you have now written not one but two. XD XD

Re: Part II/III, actually

[tierfal]

The moment I said I wouldn't, I sealed my fate. XDDDDD

I… I should… really know better than that by now. :P

Re: Part II/III, actually

[bob_fish]

XD XD