Pain.
Warning that this post contains me talking about menstrual cycle. So run far away if you can’t deal with it.
So me and my friends were talking about periods and I said that I dread mine because when it comes, it’s … for the lack of a better word, extremely excruciating. For me, the day before and the day it starts are the worse. I want to throw up, I can’t eat, I can’t move … and it feels like I’m giving birth to my guts. I’m constantly nauseous and most of the time, I’m literally curled up over myself just to ease the pain.
It wasn’t always like this. But about four years ago, this pain started and as each period comes, it’s like … it’s getting worse. I told my doctor (when I finally took my friend’s advice to go see him, yes my doctor is a guy), I told him that I remember one time it was so bad, I had to sit in a lecture theater for three hours because I knew that if I stood up, I would have thrown up right there and then.
So I repeated all those and extra details that only doctors should know and he said that it sounds quite serious. My heart just about sang hallelujah. I never went to see him about this before because I heard about other women complaining about period cramps and I have no clue what the hell is a period cramp. For me, it’s either no pain (in the early days) or extreme pain like what I go through when my period comes. So that’s why I was curious how can these women who have period cramps can still stand up and walk and go to work. It was … absolutely unfathomable.
So then the doctor ask me what do I take to alleviate the pain, and I told him I took nothing because 1) I don’t know what will alleviate the pain and what makes it worse and 2) I couldn’t swallow anything even if I got some painkillers on hand as I would have thrown it right back up.
So he sent me to the radiologist for an ultrasound as he said it could be Endometriosis. The ultrasound wasn’t the most comfortable experience, to be quite honest. It was a pelvis-abdomen scan and I had to have a full bladder and must not have any food six hours prior to the scan. My scan was at 2PM. I survived on high sugar-content orange juice from 7:30AM to 2PM. And while I was waiting in the reception area, two pregnant women came and went for their ultrasound scan. And both had to tell their radiologist to give them a few more minutes to wait for their partner to arrive.
Maybe it was just me, but I swear they were giving me a funny look. Hard to describe, but I felt like I was being judged. But I couldn’t really tell them to shove it because my mind was on when I can go to the toilet. Honestly, the combination of having to hold your pee in and the radiologist pressing the scanner on your pelvis is one of the hardest must-not-embarass-self-by-peeing-pants situation.
Uhm, yeah. So that was about two weeks ago. I’ve been tossing between panicking that it may be Endometriosis and I will probably have to go for surgery, and moments of calmness where he can prescribe me birth-control pills to control and perhaps minimize the pain. I have to go see him soon again as my temporary Naproxen he prescribed me has only one refill left.
The next period is coming along and I can feel the … I guess slight pain already. I’m bracing myself like usual but sad as it seems, I feel a bit better equipped with the Naproxen going everywhere I go. As I’m typing this, I feel like my ovaries/kidneys are contracting and expanding constantly. About 24 hours ago, there’s been slight pain around my pelvic bone. Yeah, I’m pretty ready to pop those Naproxen pills like candies once the full blast of it hits.
This waiting around for the doctor to interpret the ultrasound results is also killing me slowly. Just fucking call me and tell me what’s happening. Please!
First posted at Teacup.