Trial
Now that I’ve vented out one of my frustrations in the previous post, I’ve had a couple of days where I can think a bit more clearly on the matter and…maybe I was a little harsh and a little too angry. In my defense, I’ve let that little ball of hurt festered until it’s this giant monster in my chest eating away what little heart I’ve got. And also, I can keep grudges like no one’s business. Seriously.
So, I’ve had a couple of days to think and I guess I wasn’t on my best behavior so I’ve asked her if she wanted to have a dinner this Friday. Just the two of us, where I’ll be on my best behavior. The ball’s in her court now.
Half of me wants to prostrate myself before her begging for forgiveness, but the other half of me tells the other side to fuck off because we had the right be angry. I think both side has a point hence, no side wins but we’ll see how this plays out. I’m a bit more calm now, my head is a bit clearer and I just need to stay calm and cool.
I knew I was so close to breaking point, I had to let steam out somewhere and it just happened to be here and as much as I would like to apologize for the bad behavior, I just can’t. Maybe people will view in me in a negative light now, and really, I still need a little more time before the festering stops.
Maybe I just need to completely stop thinking about it.
First posted at Teacup.