hey girl hey
on some days i miss talking to you. especially school days.
on school days where i hate paying attention, so id want to text you.
but then i think about how you havent even tried contacting me(granted even when we were "friends" you RARELY contacted me first anyways) and how i obviously meant absolutely nothing to you, so why do i miss you?
i guess its not you i miss really, but the "companionship"; or thats what i keep telling myself.
but, what companionship did we even have?
i did so much for you, but what in turn did you do for me?
i bent over backwards to be there for you, and you couldnt even answer your phone when i really needed you. never once.
i know i am not perfect, but i really tried to be for you, because i loved you so damn much and i valued you to such a high extent. there are SO many reasons as to why i shouldnt have even been your friend in the first place, you laid out those reasons when we first discussed our friendship, and i dont know why it took me so long to realize how crappy things were going to turn out for me.
i guess your saying that i "was too negative and i complained too often" was the only thing you could think of since you already told me your "break up" lines before to your old friends.
and im guessing its also because you did look in the mirror and you realized that you were describing yourself but you decided it would hurt you less to peg them on someone else.
you know, i want to resent you so much. and i want to drive to your house and shake you and yell at you and tell you how damn STUPID you are for not wanting to be my friend when i should have left you behind that VERY FIRST TIME YOU DISSED ME.
but i cant.
and whats pathetic? is that if you asked me to forgive you i would.
just like i did ALL of the OTHER 3 times.
JEEZE.
how ridiculous, right?
i dont hate you, i just cant in any way.
but at the same time, you still make me sick.
i wish that when had our last outing back in may, before the wedding, that we would have ended it then, because at least at that time you admitted being wrong.
and at least then, your face wouldnt be in all of my wedding pictures.
and that is such an UGLY thing to think, but i cant even look at them.
why should i be reminded about how much of a fake and a FLAKE you are every time i try to remember my wedding.
and you know what, i kind of feel like i need you right now and i dont want that. i dont want you any more.
but ill let you know why.
my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. and they took out a tumor. but its already spread to her lymphatic system and you are such a smart girl and i know you know what that means.
and i want you with me so i can talk about how worried i am with you, but you werent even there for me when my grandpa died.
you didnt text me ONCE that week i wasnt in school.
remember what you said when i finally came back?
"oh i thought you had died"
i didnt know thats how best friends saw each other.
i missed you, and you didnt even care.
and i needed you and i need you and you still dont even care.
and i dont know how you could ever tell me that you thought that i never paid attention to your feelings or your thoughts. and i know that was just some BULL that you decided to put in to hurt me and it did. because all i have EVER told you as how proud i am of you and i always wish you luck before a test and tell you how WELL you will do and i always congratulate you afterwords.
and what do you do? mock my intelligence and make me feel like an incompetent fool and i should be oh so lucky to have you as a friend.
and you know what?
i was. i was lucky, but i guess my luck ran out.
because you sent me that letter that you sent one of those other poor girls that said
"hey i dont want to be your friend anymore and i have no valid reason or excuse. bye"
so since you wouldnt even give me thirty minutes to talk over a month ago, i hope you have read this.
and i hope you realize how much you meant to me.
and i hope you realize what a great friend i was to you and how much of a horrible(yet still great) friend you were to me.
and i hope you realize that i dont resent you and still care about you even though logically i shouldn't.
and i hope you realize everything i meant you to realize.
which i still dont even know what all was there for me to make you realize.
i miss you. i hope you are doing well. i hope your family is great. and i hope you didnt tell them any rumors to get them to stop talking to me, because i have a feeling you did because they did.
and thats it.
thats what i wanted to say to you last month.
and im sorry its taken me so long to get it to you.
TL;DR
IN OTHER NEWS!!!!!!!!!
our snake MOSES just peed on JOHN HAHAHAHAHAAHJSHLKUGDKJGDWUYFDIYTW
on school days where i hate paying attention, so id want to text you.
but then i think about how you havent even tried contacting me(granted even when we were "friends" you RARELY contacted me first anyways) and how i obviously meant absolutely nothing to you, so why do i miss you?
i guess its not you i miss really, but the "companionship"; or thats what i keep telling myself.
but, what companionship did we even have?
i did so much for you, but what in turn did you do for me?
i bent over backwards to be there for you, and you couldnt even answer your phone when i really needed you. never once.
i know i am not perfect, but i really tried to be for you, because i loved you so damn much and i valued you to such a high extent. there are SO many reasons as to why i shouldnt have even been your friend in the first place, you laid out those reasons when we first discussed our friendship, and i dont know why it took me so long to realize how crappy things were going to turn out for me.
i guess your saying that i "was too negative and i complained too often" was the only thing you could think of since you already told me your "break up" lines before to your old friends.
and im guessing its also because you did look in the mirror and you realized that you were describing yourself but you decided it would hurt you less to peg them on someone else.
you know, i want to resent you so much. and i want to drive to your house and shake you and yell at you and tell you how damn STUPID you are for not wanting to be my friend when i should have left you behind that VERY FIRST TIME YOU DISSED ME.
but i cant.
and whats pathetic? is that if you asked me to forgive you i would.
just like i did ALL of the OTHER 3 times.
JEEZE.
how ridiculous, right?
i dont hate you, i just cant in any way.
but at the same time, you still make me sick.
i wish that when had our last outing back in may, before the wedding, that we would have ended it then, because at least at that time you admitted being wrong.
and at least then, your face wouldnt be in all of my wedding pictures.
and that is such an UGLY thing to think, but i cant even look at them.
why should i be reminded about how much of a fake and a FLAKE you are every time i try to remember my wedding.
and you know what, i kind of feel like i need you right now and i dont want that. i dont want you any more.
but ill let you know why.
my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. and they took out a tumor. but its already spread to her lymphatic system and you are such a smart girl and i know you know what that means.
and i want you with me so i can talk about how worried i am with you, but you werent even there for me when my grandpa died.
you didnt text me ONCE that week i wasnt in school.
remember what you said when i finally came back?
"oh i thought you had died"
i didnt know thats how best friends saw each other.
i missed you, and you didnt even care.
and i needed you and i need you and you still dont even care.
and i dont know how you could ever tell me that you thought that i never paid attention to your feelings or your thoughts. and i know that was just some BULL that you decided to put in to hurt me and it did. because all i have EVER told you as how proud i am of you and i always wish you luck before a test and tell you how WELL you will do and i always congratulate you afterwords.
and what do you do? mock my intelligence and make me feel like an incompetent fool and i should be oh so lucky to have you as a friend.
and you know what?
i was. i was lucky, but i guess my luck ran out.
because you sent me that letter that you sent one of those other poor girls that said
"hey i dont want to be your friend anymore and i have no valid reason or excuse. bye"
so since you wouldnt even give me thirty minutes to talk over a month ago, i hope you have read this.
and i hope you realize how much you meant to me.
and i hope you realize what a great friend i was to you and how much of a horrible(yet still great) friend you were to me.
and i hope you realize that i dont resent you and still care about you even though logically i shouldn't.
and i hope you realize everything i meant you to realize.
which i still dont even know what all was there for me to make you realize.
i miss you. i hope you are doing well. i hope your family is great. and i hope you didnt tell them any rumors to get them to stop talking to me, because i have a feeling you did because they did.
and thats it.
thats what i wanted to say to you last month.
and im sorry its taken me so long to get it to you.
TL;DR
IN OTHER NEWS!!!!!!!!!
our snake MOSES just peed on JOHN HAHAHAHAHAAHJSHLKUGDKJGDWUYFDIYTW