Review responses for "The Show Must Go On" ch 3
Got a very nice review that basically challenged me to explain a lot of the offbeat choices I've made in this fic, so I ended up whipping out a 1 1/2 page response O_O This is the bulk of it, broken down by topic, plus a bit of touching on other comments of course : )
Kuja sleeping around in exchange for power - "While I believe that Kuja could have an instrumental attitude toward sex and that he could have slept with some dubious people of both sexes in the past, I actually don't believe that he would sleep with anyone in exchange for money, position or any other favors. His pride aside, I think he's too intelligent and too skillful manipulator to resort to such cheap tactics."
I went with the (well, let's call it what it is) prostitution angle less for the shock value and more as an explanation on why Kuja might have a rather blasé attitude about sex and relationships. I didn't want him to see sex as something that's about love or pleasure, but rather as a bargaining chip, one that had fallen into his hands thanks to his looks. But that doesn’t mean he slept with the whole planet of course : ) - I could see him weighing the pros and cons on a case by case basis and going with whatever was more beneficial depending on the circumstances. I could even see him reveling in the idea that it was his decision to do whatever he wanted with his body (like a rebellious teenager defying his father), though he's starting to second guess himself now that things have changed.
Of course, the morality of it isn't an issue. Kuja, as an engineered killing machine, probably didn't grow up with morals.
Kuja + Zidane - "Poor Zidane. Admittedly he’s kind of cheerily clueless, but I can sympathize because with almost everything Kuja says or does it’s impossible to tell if he really believes what he’s saying, if he’s manipulating Zidane or if he’s lying to himself. Like does he want to kiss Zidane because he feels a connection, or because he’s trying to manipulate him into staying, or does he not even understand what it is he wants - or some combination of all of the above."
(Ironically I'd written this as an addendum to the passage above about prostitution, but it works as a response here too : D )
Even though Kuja's the one pushing Zidane into a physical relationship, he really is on the fence about his feelings for him. He does like Zidane, but he doesn’t understand if there’s boundaries to that; he doesn’t know if he just wants friendship, or if there’s something more there, or even if he’s honestly just looking for a bodyguard. This will be something he continues to struggle with in future chapters even as he continues pushing for more physically, as if sex would somehow provide the answer.
Kuja + Brahne - "I must also say that the mental picture you painted, that of Kuja making out with Queen Brahne, was really disgusting."
I was inspired by this piece of fanart to bring up Brahne as a possible partner, though to be fair, Kuja never answered when Zidane asked him about it. I don't think it really needed an answer and I like leaving some things open ended for readers to decide on their own BUT that said, given that the king died right before Kuja appeared (which always made me wonder, did Kuja have something to do with it?), I could see it being a possibility that he'd have approached Brahne with the offer of companionship so as to take advantage of her while she was in mourning. Or maybe I just read into things way too much...
Kuja's level of power - "I think that you underestimate Kuja's power. When he achieved the ability to Trance, he became virtually unstoppable, but he used to be a formidable opponent even before that. After all, he's the guy who faced Bahamut's attack head-on and walked away with barely a scratch."
I thought a lot about how powerful Kuja was versus how powerful he THOUGHT he was (out of Trance of course). I will agree that I probably consider him a little less powerful than most people would - a lot of the displays of power I’ve seen attributed to Kuja aren’t really his own (i.e. controlling Bahamut) and some of the others I find iffy (i.e. I think the Silver Dragon was his pet, not that he was somehow controlling it). But I think there’s a possibility that his assessment of his own abilities may have been off as well.
In the game it’s established that Kuja began collecting Eidolons because he didn’t think he was powerful enough to break free of Garland on his own. As that was 10 years prior to the game, I could see him being magically weaker then as well as a lot more uncertain as to the limits of his capabilities. And if you want to think of it from a psychological standpoint, he also knew that Garland considered him a failure from pretty early on. So I think it’s possible that some of that doubt / caution would’ve carried through the years, even after he became more powerful. I know that that seems contradictory to his narcissism, but I’ve always believed that the narcissim was a front to hide the loneliness and insecurity he felt inside.
I also re-imagined the creation of black mages a bit, since the game leaves a little leeway there… and wondered if Kuja might have made some early prototypes with the intent of using them against Garland if the need arose before later offering to make an army for Brahne. Just a possibility, but that’s why he brings it up while talking about needing a lot of power.
Can Kuja feel complex emotions? - "You’ve also caught some real pain when he talks about not being able to experience complex emotions - it’s clear by now that’s a lie, but again, I’m not sure whether Kuja (at least) half believes it."
I'm glad that came through. As weird as it sounds, if Kuja doesn't make my heart twinge at least once a chapter I feel like I'm not doing him justice.
I think deep down Kuja knows he's been lying to himself, but he's scared to believe that in case he's wrong after all; he'd rather deny the possibility than risk being disappointed. And I could see him thinking that there's nothing to be gained even if he could fall in love. Most of the planet wants him dead. And Zidane's planning on leaving and going back to his girlfriend - getting attached to him would only result in a broken heart. So why bother trying to figure it out?
Kuja sleeping around in exchange for power - "While I believe that Kuja could have an instrumental attitude toward sex and that he could have slept with some dubious people of both sexes in the past, I actually don't believe that he would sleep with anyone in exchange for money, position or any other favors. His pride aside, I think he's too intelligent and too skillful manipulator to resort to such cheap tactics."
I went with the (well, let's call it what it is) prostitution angle less for the shock value and more as an explanation on why Kuja might have a rather blasé attitude about sex and relationships. I didn't want him to see sex as something that's about love or pleasure, but rather as a bargaining chip, one that had fallen into his hands thanks to his looks. But that doesn’t mean he slept with the whole planet of course : ) - I could see him weighing the pros and cons on a case by case basis and going with whatever was more beneficial depending on the circumstances. I could even see him reveling in the idea that it was his decision to do whatever he wanted with his body (like a rebellious teenager defying his father), though he's starting to second guess himself now that things have changed.
Of course, the morality of it isn't an issue. Kuja, as an engineered killing machine, probably didn't grow up with morals.
Kuja + Zidane - "Poor Zidane. Admittedly he’s kind of cheerily clueless, but I can sympathize because with almost everything Kuja says or does it’s impossible to tell if he really believes what he’s saying, if he’s manipulating Zidane or if he’s lying to himself. Like does he want to kiss Zidane because he feels a connection, or because he’s trying to manipulate him into staying, or does he not even understand what it is he wants - or some combination of all of the above."
(Ironically I'd written this as an addendum to the passage above about prostitution, but it works as a response here too : D )
Even though Kuja's the one pushing Zidane into a physical relationship, he really is on the fence about his feelings for him. He does like Zidane, but he doesn’t understand if there’s boundaries to that; he doesn’t know if he just wants friendship, or if there’s something more there, or even if he’s honestly just looking for a bodyguard. This will be something he continues to struggle with in future chapters even as he continues pushing for more physically, as if sex would somehow provide the answer.
Kuja + Brahne - "I must also say that the mental picture you painted, that of Kuja making out with Queen Brahne, was really disgusting."
I was inspired by this piece of fanart to bring up Brahne as a possible partner, though to be fair, Kuja never answered when Zidane asked him about it. I don't think it really needed an answer and I like leaving some things open ended for readers to decide on their own BUT that said, given that the king died right before Kuja appeared (which always made me wonder, did Kuja have something to do with it?), I could see it being a possibility that he'd have approached Brahne with the offer of companionship so as to take advantage of her while she was in mourning. Or maybe I just read into things way too much...
Kuja's level of power - "I think that you underestimate Kuja's power. When he achieved the ability to Trance, he became virtually unstoppable, but he used to be a formidable opponent even before that. After all, he's the guy who faced Bahamut's attack head-on and walked away with barely a scratch."
I thought a lot about how powerful Kuja was versus how powerful he THOUGHT he was (out of Trance of course). I will agree that I probably consider him a little less powerful than most people would - a lot of the displays of power I’ve seen attributed to Kuja aren’t really his own (i.e. controlling Bahamut) and some of the others I find iffy (i.e. I think the Silver Dragon was his pet, not that he was somehow controlling it). But I think there’s a possibility that his assessment of his own abilities may have been off as well.
In the game it’s established that Kuja began collecting Eidolons because he didn’t think he was powerful enough to break free of Garland on his own. As that was 10 years prior to the game, I could see him being magically weaker then as well as a lot more uncertain as to the limits of his capabilities. And if you want to think of it from a psychological standpoint, he also knew that Garland considered him a failure from pretty early on. So I think it’s possible that some of that doubt / caution would’ve carried through the years, even after he became more powerful. I know that that seems contradictory to his narcissism, but I’ve always believed that the narcissim was a front to hide the loneliness and insecurity he felt inside.
I also re-imagined the creation of black mages a bit, since the game leaves a little leeway there… and wondered if Kuja might have made some early prototypes with the intent of using them against Garland if the need arose before later offering to make an army for Brahne. Just a possibility, but that’s why he brings it up while talking about needing a lot of power.
Can Kuja feel complex emotions? - "You’ve also caught some real pain when he talks about not being able to experience complex emotions - it’s clear by now that’s a lie, but again, I’m not sure whether Kuja (at least) half believes it."
I'm glad that came through. As weird as it sounds, if Kuja doesn't make my heart twinge at least once a chapter I feel like I'm not doing him justice.
I think deep down Kuja knows he's been lying to himself, but he's scared to believe that in case he's wrong after all; he'd rather deny the possibility than risk being disappointed. And I could see him thinking that there's nothing to be gained even if he could fall in love. Most of the planet wants him dead. And Zidane's planning on leaving and going back to his girlfriend - getting attached to him would only result in a broken heart. So why bother trying to figure it out?