(no subject)
There have been a lot of exciting things going on in my world as of recently, and I thought I would be a great idea to write them down so I can reflect on them later.
I had no idea what God had planned for me when I moved from Seattle to Texas in January, 2004. Initially it was only going to be a temporary “pit-stop” of sorts. Come home, spend time with my family, get in a semester or two, and retrace my steps back to the Pacific Northwest. I viewed this period as a chance to better myself in all that entailed. I was in for the ride of a lifetime!
I think once I made this confession aloud before God, He set forth a series of events that were sure to change my life forever. Over a stretch of four years, I had dabbled with a little of everything the internet has to offer. I was mesmerized how by simply moving my mouse I could escape my small Texas town and interact with a hodgepodge of cultures and people. The internet completely enveloped me. I found myself in chat rooms, using instant messengers, and using my web camera to find out how other people lived their lives. Everything started innocently enough, but it soon spun out of control. I saw the internet as a place where I could be the person I always wanted to be, as well as being the person I loathed. I fist started chatting in rooms that interested me, such as military, sports, and education. This led to other adventures. Adventures that I would later regret. I viewed what I was doing as a game, no one was actually being harmed, but I was having fun pestering people. I would go into a chat room and simply try to spark fury, or anything else that would annoy people. I was just trying to mess with people’s minds, I know it seems immature, and ill natured, but it was a great way to pass time.
One of the first nights I was ‘plugged into the world,’ I met a very interesting person. She was nothing like anyone I had ever met, and come to find out; she was nothing like anyone I would have met once I morphed into my devious alter ego. Over the next several years people (calling them people is really stretching the word since I never viewed them as such) came and went, however, she is the only one that remained a constant. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She is the only one I looked forward to actually talking to, and I know I annoyed her with my persistence, but I was determined to get to know her better. I soon realized that she saw me for what I was, an irritation, however she still entertained my requests for lengthy chats, and she even allowed me to see her on camera, a pixel image I fell in love with. I wasn’t sure if she was out to toy with my mind and heart just as I had done so many other anonymous ‘screen names’ in the past, and I didn’t care. I am positive that I overstepped my boundaries more often than should normally be allowed, but once again she kept me around. For months and years she had asked me if I were married, at first I thought it was just a question you ask someone in order to get to know them. And since I was so determined to keep her around, I lied and said I wasn’t. She continued to ask, and I continued to deny, until one evening she saw an old photo of me in the desert of Egypt I had posted online. You could barely see a wedding band in the blurry image, but she studied every detail of the photo, and that was not getting past her. She was furious, and rightly so. I had opened up my entire soul to her, told her the honest truth about every facet of my life, except this! She tore out my heart by ignoring me for months, which I had coming with such a crushing fib.
Fast forward to January, 2004. Life went on; however I still waited the day she forgave me. I would sit in front of my monitor, which I had been permanently attached to for over four years, and waited to hear from her. In the meantime I was looking to better myself. The past five or six years have been brutal. I rushed into marriage, and I made the inexcusable mistake of marrying a nonbeliever. At the time I didn’t realize how big of a blunder this was, I liked her and we got along just fine, so who cares if we don’t have the same religious ideals? GOD CARES, that’s who! I slipped farther and farther away from Him in the years that we were married. I never attended church, and the Bible was a book I was sure of I was never going to pick up again, in fact, I didn’t even have one in the house the entire time we were married. When I moved to Texas and she stayed in Seattle, God seized the opportunity to put His plan into work. He was just waiting on me to take the first step. Things happened almost instantaneously. Once I told Him my plans, my life began to change. I distinctly remember that night. I was at pub with an old friend when I logged onto the net via my phone and saw Lynne online! It was time to go home, and I had a thirty minute drive ahead of me I didn’t want to make alone. I quickly asked if I would call her, and surprisingly she agreed! Her voice has always brightened up my day, and this day was the brightest yet. From that day forward we began talking more and more. This time there are zero boundaries, and no lines to walk. Having a relationship with her is so incredibly effortless, it is beyond amazing.
Things have progressed very rapidly, yet so smoothly. We met in Dallas a few months ago, and had a wonderful time. “Meeting” her for the first time, I can’t even put my thoughts and feelings into words; let’s just say it was GREAT! Sometime later she flew to Texas to meet my parents and to see where I grew up, again, an amazing visit. Monday I got back from Detroit. I am so glad I had a chance to meet her family and friends. This feeling that I have finally found has inspired novels, movies, songs, poems, and art. I never knew that someday I would be blessed enough find my special someone. God works in amazing ways, and I thank Him daily for the work he has done in my life. He has given me the perfect woman to compliment who I am. I look forward to worshiping the Lord, getting married, having children, and being happy with Lynne for the rest of our lives. Thank you, God for the gifts that you give!
AMEN.
I had no idea what God had planned for me when I moved from Seattle to Texas in January, 2004. Initially it was only going to be a temporary “pit-stop” of sorts. Come home, spend time with my family, get in a semester or two, and retrace my steps back to the Pacific Northwest. I viewed this period as a chance to better myself in all that entailed. I was in for the ride of a lifetime!
I think once I made this confession aloud before God, He set forth a series of events that were sure to change my life forever. Over a stretch of four years, I had dabbled with a little of everything the internet has to offer. I was mesmerized how by simply moving my mouse I could escape my small Texas town and interact with a hodgepodge of cultures and people. The internet completely enveloped me. I found myself in chat rooms, using instant messengers, and using my web camera to find out how other people lived their lives. Everything started innocently enough, but it soon spun out of control. I saw the internet as a place where I could be the person I always wanted to be, as well as being the person I loathed. I fist started chatting in rooms that interested me, such as military, sports, and education. This led to other adventures. Adventures that I would later regret. I viewed what I was doing as a game, no one was actually being harmed, but I was having fun pestering people. I would go into a chat room and simply try to spark fury, or anything else that would annoy people. I was just trying to mess with people’s minds, I know it seems immature, and ill natured, but it was a great way to pass time.
One of the first nights I was ‘plugged into the world,’ I met a very interesting person. She was nothing like anyone I had ever met, and come to find out; she was nothing like anyone I would have met once I morphed into my devious alter ego. Over the next several years people (calling them people is really stretching the word since I never viewed them as such) came and went, however, she is the only one that remained a constant. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She is the only one I looked forward to actually talking to, and I know I annoyed her with my persistence, but I was determined to get to know her better. I soon realized that she saw me for what I was, an irritation, however she still entertained my requests for lengthy chats, and she even allowed me to see her on camera, a pixel image I fell in love with. I wasn’t sure if she was out to toy with my mind and heart just as I had done so many other anonymous ‘screen names’ in the past, and I didn’t care. I am positive that I overstepped my boundaries more often than should normally be allowed, but once again she kept me around. For months and years she had asked me if I were married, at first I thought it was just a question you ask someone in order to get to know them. And since I was so determined to keep her around, I lied and said I wasn’t. She continued to ask, and I continued to deny, until one evening she saw an old photo of me in the desert of Egypt I had posted online. You could barely see a wedding band in the blurry image, but she studied every detail of the photo, and that was not getting past her. She was furious, and rightly so. I had opened up my entire soul to her, told her the honest truth about every facet of my life, except this! She tore out my heart by ignoring me for months, which I had coming with such a crushing fib.
Fast forward to January, 2004. Life went on; however I still waited the day she forgave me. I would sit in front of my monitor, which I had been permanently attached to for over four years, and waited to hear from her. In the meantime I was looking to better myself. The past five or six years have been brutal. I rushed into marriage, and I made the inexcusable mistake of marrying a nonbeliever. At the time I didn’t realize how big of a blunder this was, I liked her and we got along just fine, so who cares if we don’t have the same religious ideals? GOD CARES, that’s who! I slipped farther and farther away from Him in the years that we were married. I never attended church, and the Bible was a book I was sure of I was never going to pick up again, in fact, I didn’t even have one in the house the entire time we were married. When I moved to Texas and she stayed in Seattle, God seized the opportunity to put His plan into work. He was just waiting on me to take the first step. Things happened almost instantaneously. Once I told Him my plans, my life began to change. I distinctly remember that night. I was at pub with an old friend when I logged onto the net via my phone and saw Lynne online! It was time to go home, and I had a thirty minute drive ahead of me I didn’t want to make alone. I quickly asked if I would call her, and surprisingly she agreed! Her voice has always brightened up my day, and this day was the brightest yet. From that day forward we began talking more and more. This time there are zero boundaries, and no lines to walk. Having a relationship with her is so incredibly effortless, it is beyond amazing.
Things have progressed very rapidly, yet so smoothly. We met in Dallas a few months ago, and had a wonderful time. “Meeting” her for the first time, I can’t even put my thoughts and feelings into words; let’s just say it was GREAT! Sometime later she flew to Texas to meet my parents and to see where I grew up, again, an amazing visit. Monday I got back from Detroit. I am so glad I had a chance to meet her family and friends. This feeling that I have finally found has inspired novels, movies, songs, poems, and art. I never knew that someday I would be blessed enough find my special someone. God works in amazing ways, and I thank Him daily for the work he has done in my life. He has given me the perfect woman to compliment who I am. I look forward to worshiping the Lord, getting married, having children, and being happy with Lynne for the rest of our lives. Thank you, God for the gifts that you give!
AMEN.