I blame project runway
For some reason, I got the image of Fuji Kujaku as a drag queen in my head. And it won't go away. And then this stupidity just followed. xD
Title: Banter
Author:
bmw_remixed
Fandom: Bleach
Character(s): Yumichika, Fuji/Ruriro Kujaku
Notes: Read Fuji's lines in the most stereotypical Drag Queen lisp you can manage.
“Oh, dahlin, do calm down. You're disrupting the Chi flow”
“Calm down?? This is a disaster! How am I supposed to face the others??”
“Don’t fret so, you’ll get wrinkles.”
“But you told me you were a direct combat type!”
“Did I? Hmm...I don’t know what I must’ve been thinking. Was I preening then? You know you can’t trust what I say when I preen. Direct combat -honestly. Nuh-uh, not with the time I spend on these beauties. No reason to ruin them and give Senbonzakura an even bigger head. Some of us don’t have the luxury of entire forests of cherry trees at their disposals.”
“Why do you care what Senbonzakura thinks? Can’t you make poison darts, or helicopter blades, or invisible hammers?”
“Invisible hammers? Really? Are you feeling alright, Yumi dear?”
“Don’t call me that. It’s sounds so heinous. And yes, I’m fine, as fine as I can be with my dignity crushed to tiny insignificant pieces!“
“Don’t be silly. It’s adorable. Takes years off your image. I can’t see why you don’t like it.”
“Because it’s hideous, Fuji-sama.”
“Oh, honey, you did not just call me that. These feathers are the farthest thing from purple as you could find.”
“Taste of your own medicine.”
“I see we’re feeling mature today, Yumi.”
“As always, Fuji.“
“I’m sorry, who were you talking to?”
“I believe you, Fuji.”
“Maybe you should stick your tongue out and blow a few raspberries, darling. It’ll fit the persona you’re going for.”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you because I was too distracted by the purple monstrosity that you call a tail.”
“Tramp.”
“Bitch.”
“It’s all in the delivery.”
“I don’t have time for this. I have to go and formulate a new career since my old one was demolished!”
“Please, you’re overreacting.”
“We’ll see who’s overreacting when we get transferred!”
“In that case, hopefully to a more presentable division. Hozukimaru could use to learn some vanity.”
“Presentable? Alright, let’s wander right into Kuchiki-taichou’s. He’s Seireitei’s resident pretty boy. And you get to compare flowers with Senbonzakura as often as you want.“
“Oooh, spiteful too! You’re just full of excitement today!”
“I have the right to be spiteful!”
“My, my. I feel hurt, I just wanted to be accepted for who I am. And my own Shinigami won’t even do that.”
“You’re enjoying this.”
“Absolutely!”
“Goodbye.”
“Aww, don’t be like that.”
“Purple people eater.”
“Kids these days. Love to you too, dear. Stay gorgeous -I can’t do all the work around here.”
Word Count: 419
Start/End: 8.29.08
Title: Banter
Author:
bmw_remixed
Fandom: Bleach
Character(s): Yumichika, Fuji/Ruriro Kujaku
Notes: Read Fuji's lines in the most stereotypical Drag Queen lisp you can manage.
“Oh, dahlin, do calm down. You're disrupting the Chi flow”
“Calm down?? This is a disaster! How am I supposed to face the others??”
“Don’t fret so, you’ll get wrinkles.”
“But you told me you were a direct combat type!”
“Did I? Hmm...I don’t know what I must’ve been thinking. Was I preening then? You know you can’t trust what I say when I preen. Direct combat -honestly. Nuh-uh, not with the time I spend on these beauties. No reason to ruin them and give Senbonzakura an even bigger head. Some of us don’t have the luxury of entire forests of cherry trees at their disposals.”
“Why do you care what Senbonzakura thinks? Can’t you make poison darts, or helicopter blades, or invisible hammers?”
“Invisible hammers? Really? Are you feeling alright, Yumi dear?”
“Don’t call me that. It’s sounds so heinous. And yes, I’m fine, as fine as I can be with my dignity crushed to tiny insignificant pieces!“
“Don’t be silly. It’s adorable. Takes years off your image. I can’t see why you don’t like it.”
“Because it’s hideous, Fuji-sama.”
“Oh, honey, you did not just call me that. These feathers are the farthest thing from purple as you could find.”
“Taste of your own medicine.”
“I see we’re feeling mature today, Yumi.”
“As always, Fuji.“
“I’m sorry, who were you talking to?”
“I believe you, Fuji.”
“Maybe you should stick your tongue out and blow a few raspberries, darling. It’ll fit the persona you’re going for.”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you because I was too distracted by the purple monstrosity that you call a tail.”
“Tramp.”
“Bitch.”
“It’s all in the delivery.”
“I don’t have time for this. I have to go and formulate a new career since my old one was demolished!”
“Please, you’re overreacting.”
“We’ll see who’s overreacting when we get transferred!”
“In that case, hopefully to a more presentable division. Hozukimaru could use to learn some vanity.”
“Presentable? Alright, let’s wander right into Kuchiki-taichou’s. He’s Seireitei’s resident pretty boy. And you get to compare flowers with Senbonzakura as often as you want.“
“Oooh, spiteful too! You’re just full of excitement today!”
“I have the right to be spiteful!”
“My, my. I feel hurt, I just wanted to be accepted for who I am. And my own Shinigami won’t even do that.”
“You’re enjoying this.”
“Absolutely!”
“Goodbye.”
“Aww, don’t be like that.”
“Purple people eater.”
“Kids these days. Love to you too, dear. Stay gorgeous -I can’t do all the work around here.”
Word Count: 419
Start/End: 8.29.08