oh LJ
since I have nobody to talk to and I feel like I need some sort of release, I resort to LJ.
I feel empty right now, miserable almost. Most of the day i'm fine, as long as i'm occupied, but when I hit downtime my mind starts racing and I start feeling hopeless, scared, like nothing is ever going to be good again. I've been having nightmares and those don't help much. I keep having a different version of the same dream over and over. It always ends the same, with me alone and miserable.
I set myself up for so much failure, it's ridiculous. When something goes wrong I spend 75% of the time feeling sorry for myself and making things worse.
The worst part is that I know how to eliminate a huge portion of my problems, but it would involve the hardest decision i'd ever make this far into my life.
this sucks
I feel empty right now, miserable almost. Most of the day i'm fine, as long as i'm occupied, but when I hit downtime my mind starts racing and I start feeling hopeless, scared, like nothing is ever going to be good again. I've been having nightmares and those don't help much. I keep having a different version of the same dream over and over. It always ends the same, with me alone and miserable.
I set myself up for so much failure, it's ridiculous. When something goes wrong I spend 75% of the time feeling sorry for myself and making things worse.
The worst part is that I know how to eliminate a huge portion of my problems, but it would involve the hardest decision i'd ever make this far into my life.
this sucks