Contemplation...and perhaps some contempt?
Another overdue update. Well, I have a lot to say this time. Be forewarned; do not blame me if you are upset or offended by what I write. The only reason anyone would feel that way is if they have wronged me, so don't be too worried. That is, unless you have done something that you should not have done, and GUESS WHAT? I found out. And I'm not happy about it.
I will begin by saying two things: I will not mention any names, and I did not get a part in Scrooge.
First, it is my opinion that if you have something to say about someone else, then you need to talk to that person about it. Do not gossip about that person to other people; it WILL get back to the person it is about. And I guarantee that the person will most likely hear an exaggerated version, and will not appreciate the information.
Now that I have stated my opinion, I will relay what happened. For the last two weeks or so, beginning right around auditions for Scrooge, it has come to my attention that someone I considered a good friend has been talking about me behind my back.
Again, I will not state names; I will say "he" for reference. It all started when I lent "him" a tape. I told "him" that I used that tape EVERY DAY, and could I please get it back the next day? That was on a Friday. I needed it the most Tuesday night. I did not get it back until Wednesday. Then there was strike for Antigone. "He" knew I had blisters on my hands, and ended up making me manually remove screws from the legs of platforms, turning a screwdriver in my blistered and hurting hands. Not a very good friend, do you think?
And believe it or not, those are the two most minor incidents. I was willing to forgive and forget all until the rest surfaced. The gossip is what burns me up the most. Some background: the first night of auditions, I knew that I messed up my song...bad. The next morning, I told "him" about it; then "he" acts high and mighty about it to one of the people who told me he was talking about me behind my back. My source also told me that "he" had said before auditions that my musical problem was with rhythm, and "he" wouldn't be surprised if I did not get a part in Scrooge. "He" said this again after I told him about my bad audition, and acted as though he diagnosed my trouble; and of course, "he" is the perfect musical star. No. Quite the opposite. I am sick and freaking tired of "his" Holier Than Thou Attitude!
Then, "he" thinks that since we got our first roles at the same time, and I was here a year before "him," that makes "him" that much better than I am. Bull shit. All of this is my journal, and I will say what I want: there was not a role appropriate for me before then, and we were short on guys. And "he's" better than I am? Excuse me--my role was bigger than "his"! And then! "He" kept bringing the rhythm-thing up! Even after the fact, way after auditions. But the thing that really upsets me about the "rhythm" comment, is that "he" wasn't even freakin' there! How the hell would "he" know how I sang? How would "he" know if I really messed it up as badly as I thought I did? The only thing was that I had not heard my song played on the piano before, and that would screw anybody up!
Sadly, there is more. "He" was cast as a SPIRIT (not tour) guide to show the audience through the show for The Ghostwalk At Whitehall; again, this makes "him" think "he" is better than I because I was not cast in it. But GUESS WHAT? I didn't audition for Ghostwalk! Naturally I wouldn't be cast in it! DUH! But, "he" thinks that this should put me in my place, since "he" was cast and I was not; it "proves" that "he" is better than I am. Riiight.
Okay. The things I have mentioned here are, unfortunately, not all-inclusive. There are other circumstances I have not included. But, I would like to say that the people who told me that this was going were instructed not to tell me. But they were true friends, disregarded that, and told me. This person who has done and said these things is not my friend, though I thought "he" was one of my best friends.
Finally, this IS my journal. I have, and will continue to, say what I want. I have previously held back many thoughts, emotions, and more about this person and subject, and I have had enough. This has gone on for FAR too long. If this person has anything to say to me from here on out, regarding this or -anything- else, I expect "him" to COME TO ME ABOUT IT and not to -anyone- else; I have had enough gossip and talk behind my back. "He" should (by now, at least) know who "he" is. I am not happy about this at all. I do not want a repeat of last year's situation of people having something to say regarding me and not coming to me about it. One last note, if the comments posted on here are inappropriate, cruel, or anything else degrading, etc, I hold the right to delete all comments up to that point and disallow further comments.
Now that all this is out in the open, until the next time... =)
I will begin by saying two things: I will not mention any names, and I did not get a part in Scrooge.
First, it is my opinion that if you have something to say about someone else, then you need to talk to that person about it. Do not gossip about that person to other people; it WILL get back to the person it is about. And I guarantee that the person will most likely hear an exaggerated version, and will not appreciate the information.
Now that I have stated my opinion, I will relay what happened. For the last two weeks or so, beginning right around auditions for Scrooge, it has come to my attention that someone I considered a good friend has been talking about me behind my back.
Again, I will not state names; I will say "he" for reference. It all started when I lent "him" a tape. I told "him" that I used that tape EVERY DAY, and could I please get it back the next day? That was on a Friday. I needed it the most Tuesday night. I did not get it back until Wednesday. Then there was strike for Antigone. "He" knew I had blisters on my hands, and ended up making me manually remove screws from the legs of platforms, turning a screwdriver in my blistered and hurting hands. Not a very good friend, do you think?
And believe it or not, those are the two most minor incidents. I was willing to forgive and forget all until the rest surfaced. The gossip is what burns me up the most. Some background: the first night of auditions, I knew that I messed up my song...bad. The next morning, I told "him" about it; then "he" acts high and mighty about it to one of the people who told me he was talking about me behind my back. My source also told me that "he" had said before auditions that my musical problem was with rhythm, and "he" wouldn't be surprised if I did not get a part in Scrooge. "He" said this again after I told him about my bad audition, and acted as though he diagnosed my trouble; and of course, "he" is the perfect musical star. No. Quite the opposite. I am sick and freaking tired of "his" Holier Than Thou Attitude!
Then, "he" thinks that since we got our first roles at the same time, and I was here a year before "him," that makes "him" that much better than I am. Bull shit. All of this is my journal, and I will say what I want: there was not a role appropriate for me before then, and we were short on guys. And "he's" better than I am? Excuse me--my role was bigger than "his"! And then! "He" kept bringing the rhythm-thing up! Even after the fact, way after auditions. But the thing that really upsets me about the "rhythm" comment, is that "he" wasn't even freakin' there! How the hell would "he" know how I sang? How would "he" know if I really messed it up as badly as I thought I did? The only thing was that I had not heard my song played on the piano before, and that would screw anybody up!
Sadly, there is more. "He" was cast as a SPIRIT (not tour) guide to show the audience through the show for The Ghostwalk At Whitehall; again, this makes "him" think "he" is better than I because I was not cast in it. But GUESS WHAT? I didn't audition for Ghostwalk! Naturally I wouldn't be cast in it! DUH! But, "he" thinks that this should put me in my place, since "he" was cast and I was not; it "proves" that "he" is better than I am. Riiight.
Okay. The things I have mentioned here are, unfortunately, not all-inclusive. There are other circumstances I have not included. But, I would like to say that the people who told me that this was going were instructed not to tell me. But they were true friends, disregarded that, and told me. This person who has done and said these things is not my friend, though I thought "he" was one of my best friends.
Finally, this IS my journal. I have, and will continue to, say what I want. I have previously held back many thoughts, emotions, and more about this person and subject, and I have had enough. This has gone on for FAR too long. If this person has anything to say to me from here on out, regarding this or -anything- else, I expect "him" to COME TO ME ABOUT IT and not to -anyone- else; I have had enough gossip and talk behind my back. "He" should (by now, at least) know who "he" is. I am not happy about this at all. I do not want a repeat of last year's situation of people having something to say regarding me and not coming to me about it. One last note, if the comments posted on here are inappropriate, cruel, or anything else degrading, etc, I hold the right to delete all comments up to that point and disallow further comments.
Now that all this is out in the open, until the next time... =)