Dear Dell Customer Service,
I think your name must be ironic because you seem to be brutal to those who seek out your products (you know, people who come to you to buy something, not cold call sales that you have to randomly convert), and as far as I can tell there is absolutely no 'service' involved.
Here (in point form so it'll be easy for you to understand) is how you've failed me:
- I have a very expensive laptop purchased from your company. My husband bought it for me as a gift 3 years ago. In EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION WITH YOU I've explained that I own the computer and that my name/contact info should be on the service file for it, and yet for 3 years you still send all pertinent info to my husband instead.
- You sent me an email telling me that my warranty was about to expire and to contact you VIA EMAIL to find out my options. I did. TWICE. But you didn't respond. Then you sent me a snippy email saying that if I refused to respond to the warranty email warning Dell wouldn't be held responsible for future service issues.
- I CALLED your customer service line instead. I was shunted to 3 separate departments (including one called 'Warranty'), none of which could help me and all of whom asked me to repeat the same name/address/contact information over and over again. I guess this means that none of these departments have linked databases, or everyone is following a script that excludes common sense, or maybe you're all just time-wasting assholes.
- When I was finally passed onto Sales the call connection was so bad and the representative's accent so unintelligible that I spent half the call yelling "What?" into my phone. There is a possibility that this particular call center was overseas, yet if you are fielding mainly North American calls your sales reps should have decent English skills. That's not unreasonable.
- The sales rep launched straight into a hard sell for the premium warranty package for a term that I told him I wasn't interested in. No other options were provided. When I told him that he was out of his mind if he thought I was going to pay half the computer's worth for warranty coverage, he asked me what I paid the last time. REALLY??? Isn't that on the goddamned sales history for this unit? I found last year's receipt (because I keep everything) and quoted what I paid and then said "I just want to renew the package I already have". He then proceeded to try to upsell me (in garbled broken English) on his original warranty offer FOUR FUCKING TIMES. Each time I said "No, just give me what I had last time".
- When he finally relented and processed the order as I instructed, he put me on hold for almost 20 minutes (with the same 15 second stock music on a loop). When he came back, he started quoting prices none of which included taxes or were the Grand Total. I asked him what he'd been doing while I was on hold, and he said processing the order, to which I responded that it was a bit late for quotes NOW since everything was purchased. He started repeating what he'd already said and I asked him how much longer this would take because I'd already been on the phone about this for 45 minutes at that point. He then asked if I wanted to CANCEL THE ORDER. I told him "NO, JUST SEND THE RECEIPTS TO MY EMAIL ADDRESS. READ IT BACK TO ME NOW". After he confirmed my email he unceremoniously hung up on me. Thankfully the receipts came through and I didn't have to call the s.o.b. back.
In conclusion, I voluntarily came to you to drop a significant amount of money today and you made it as difficult and unpleasant as possible while wasting my time. Frankly, if there were any other way to ensure the security of my technology investment, I'd take it over you. You have no clue what customer service is and just based on the employees I've interacted with, your corporate culture must be incredibly toxic.
Fuck you, Dell, fuck you very much >:/
- blythe.
Here (in point form so it'll be easy for you to understand) is how you've failed me:
- I have a very expensive laptop purchased from your company. My husband bought it for me as a gift 3 years ago. In EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION WITH YOU I've explained that I own the computer and that my name/contact info should be on the service file for it, and yet for 3 years you still send all pertinent info to my husband instead.
- You sent me an email telling me that my warranty was about to expire and to contact you VIA EMAIL to find out my options. I did. TWICE. But you didn't respond. Then you sent me a snippy email saying that if I refused to respond to the warranty email warning Dell wouldn't be held responsible for future service issues.
- I CALLED your customer service line instead. I was shunted to 3 separate departments (including one called 'Warranty'), none of which could help me and all of whom asked me to repeat the same name/address/contact information over and over again. I guess this means that none of these departments have linked databases, or everyone is following a script that excludes common sense, or maybe you're all just time-wasting assholes.
- When I was finally passed onto Sales the call connection was so bad and the representative's accent so unintelligible that I spent half the call yelling "What?" into my phone. There is a possibility that this particular call center was overseas, yet if you are fielding mainly North American calls your sales reps should have decent English skills. That's not unreasonable.
- The sales rep launched straight into a hard sell for the premium warranty package for a term that I told him I wasn't interested in. No other options were provided. When I told him that he was out of his mind if he thought I was going to pay half the computer's worth for warranty coverage, he asked me what I paid the last time. REALLY??? Isn't that on the goddamned sales history for this unit? I found last year's receipt (because I keep everything) and quoted what I paid and then said "I just want to renew the package I already have". He then proceeded to try to upsell me (in garbled broken English) on his original warranty offer FOUR FUCKING TIMES. Each time I said "No, just give me what I had last time".
- When he finally relented and processed the order as I instructed, he put me on hold for almost 20 minutes (with the same 15 second stock music on a loop). When he came back, he started quoting prices none of which included taxes or were the Grand Total. I asked him what he'd been doing while I was on hold, and he said processing the order, to which I responded that it was a bit late for quotes NOW since everything was purchased. He started repeating what he'd already said and I asked him how much longer this would take because I'd already been on the phone about this for 45 minutes at that point. He then asked if I wanted to CANCEL THE ORDER. I told him "NO, JUST SEND THE RECEIPTS TO MY EMAIL ADDRESS. READ IT BACK TO ME NOW". After he confirmed my email he unceremoniously hung up on me. Thankfully the receipts came through and I didn't have to call the s.o.b. back.
In conclusion, I voluntarily came to you to drop a significant amount of money today and you made it as difficult and unpleasant as possible while wasting my time. Frankly, if there were any other way to ensure the security of my technology investment, I'd take it over you. You have no clue what customer service is and just based on the employees I've interacted with, your corporate culture must be incredibly toxic.
Fuck you, Dell, fuck you very much >:/
- blythe.