A Memo To The World That I'll Never Send
Hello World! Blythe here...
Listen, I know that we're all in a terrible hurry these days, and that technology is supposed to help us manage that, but I have a few requests for the tech-savvy and luddite alike:
1. Pressing 'Forward' when viewing an email on your phone with an attachment in the email trail, doesn't mean that the recipient will receive the aforementioned attachment.
This is a bit technical, but think of it this way: attachments are like fleas - you need direct contact to get 'em. Just talking to a friend who had fleas at one point doesn't mean that you can pass the fleas on to me. Especially if you are using an iPhone. I know that its disheartening that you might have to actually use your computer or tablet to answer your email if you are managing files, but such are the vagaries of this vale of tears known as human existence. Steve Jobs didn't solve EVERYTHING before he died.
2. Email etiquette - get some.
We all receive far too many emails. Bearing this in mind, is it really necessary to, say, repeat a question that I asked you to ALL OF YOUR UNDERLINGS and CC me in on that repetition? Would it not be simpler to call one of your people, get the answer, and then contact me (email or phone - dealer's choice) with the answer? The only thing that you've achieved here is prove that you are out of the loop on a time-sensitive matter. And you've made sure that I'll receive a dozen emails that don't concern me as your people talk back and forth all day about the question.
3. Contrary to popular opinion, I possess no psychic powers.
Just as I cannot find a non-existent attachment in your email wake, I do not understand your internal corporate jargon. When you ask for my help combining files together and then tell me to reference the files from so-and-so's comment below in which he says things like "the CJHI format platform remarks with the Crystal video edit...", well, I don't think even you guys know what files you're talking about. I went to university and college. I am smarter than the average bear, but give me a little to go on, okay? File names are a quick and easy way to clear all of that up.
4. If I take the time to type out an email longer than 3 sentences, please read it thoroughly: it's important information.
This goes back to the email etiquette thing. I'm a professional and I'm not gonna waste your time with excessive verbiage in a business email. I save my poetic waxings for my fics. You can save yourself a lot of hassle, and back-and-forth about technical issues if you follow my carefully-worded instructions from the get go. Honestly - this isn't ego talking - technology operates best when you follow instructions. See how far you get demanding that Siri make you some toast in the morning, or that FaceTime finds your lost house keys...
5. If you hire a specialist to do something that you can't do, perhaps you should think twice before second guessing their judgment.
This isn't just disrespectful, but it smacks of a level of hubris that less than 1% of the population can pull off. Very few of us are GREAT at more than one or two things. If you require my services, chances are you aren't great at what I do. If you insist that we do things your way over my PROFESSIONAL objections, be prepared for a F.U.B.A.R. contingency.
This is all pretty basic stuff when it comes right down to it. My 90 year old grandmother would say that its all just manners. Technology and stress have made us rude - but we can fix that. Take a little time before you speak, consider others as well as yourself, own your actions, and ask for help - no one is perfect.
Thanks for listening, World. Rotate on...
- Blythe.
Listen, I know that we're all in a terrible hurry these days, and that technology is supposed to help us manage that, but I have a few requests for the tech-savvy and luddite alike:
1. Pressing 'Forward' when viewing an email on your phone with an attachment in the email trail, doesn't mean that the recipient will receive the aforementioned attachment.
This is a bit technical, but think of it this way: attachments are like fleas - you need direct contact to get 'em. Just talking to a friend who had fleas at one point doesn't mean that you can pass the fleas on to me. Especially if you are using an iPhone. I know that its disheartening that you might have to actually use your computer or tablet to answer your email if you are managing files, but such are the vagaries of this vale of tears known as human existence. Steve Jobs didn't solve EVERYTHING before he died.
2. Email etiquette - get some.
We all receive far too many emails. Bearing this in mind, is it really necessary to, say, repeat a question that I asked you to ALL OF YOUR UNDERLINGS and CC me in on that repetition? Would it not be simpler to call one of your people, get the answer, and then contact me (email or phone - dealer's choice) with the answer? The only thing that you've achieved here is prove that you are out of the loop on a time-sensitive matter. And you've made sure that I'll receive a dozen emails that don't concern me as your people talk back and forth all day about the question.
3. Contrary to popular opinion, I possess no psychic powers.
Just as I cannot find a non-existent attachment in your email wake, I do not understand your internal corporate jargon. When you ask for my help combining files together and then tell me to reference the files from so-and-so's comment below in which he says things like "the CJHI format platform remarks with the Crystal video edit...", well, I don't think even you guys know what files you're talking about. I went to university and college. I am smarter than the average bear, but give me a little to go on, okay? File names are a quick and easy way to clear all of that up.
4. If I take the time to type out an email longer than 3 sentences, please read it thoroughly: it's important information.
This goes back to the email etiquette thing. I'm a professional and I'm not gonna waste your time with excessive verbiage in a business email. I save my poetic waxings for my fics. You can save yourself a lot of hassle, and back-and-forth about technical issues if you follow my carefully-worded instructions from the get go. Honestly - this isn't ego talking - technology operates best when you follow instructions. See how far you get demanding that Siri make you some toast in the morning, or that FaceTime finds your lost house keys...
5. If you hire a specialist to do something that you can't do, perhaps you should think twice before second guessing their judgment.
This isn't just disrespectful, but it smacks of a level of hubris that less than 1% of the population can pull off. Very few of us are GREAT at more than one or two things. If you require my services, chances are you aren't great at what I do. If you insist that we do things your way over my PROFESSIONAL objections, be prepared for a F.U.B.A.R. contingency.
This is all pretty basic stuff when it comes right down to it. My 90 year old grandmother would say that its all just manners. Technology and stress have made us rude - but we can fix that. Take a little time before you speak, consider others as well as yourself, own your actions, and ask for help - no one is perfect.
Thanks for listening, World. Rotate on...
- Blythe.