Cheesy Fantasy Double Feature: Red Sonja (1985) and Hundra (1983)
Once again my friend and I launched into another night of cheesy movie-watching joy.
Red Sonja*. Attacked by an Evil Queen and her horde, the red-headed Sonja is raped and left for dead with her family murdered and her home burned to the ground. A white floating, entirely unexplained spirit appears before her and tells her that she must live and take her revenge. So Sonja drags herself up and off to train with a bunch of strangely dressed Asian dudes, who shape her into being a great warrior.
Meanwhile, in other parts of this realm, there's a temple housing woman warrior, who protect a glowing green orb, which supposedly created the world, but that has grown too powerful for anyone to control. The women begin a very slow ritual to cast the orb into darkness before it can destroy the world it created, but the ritual is interrupted by the same Evil Queen, who wants to use the orb for her own nefarious purposes. Question: Why is it, more often than not, that when there's a woman who kicks ass, her enemy is also a woman?
One of the warrior priestesses escapes, but she is struck with an arrow just before Arnold Schwartzenegger stumbles across her. She tells him to send a message to Sonja, her sister, about the stealing of the orb and the dangers it holds. He does so, and offers his help in her quest to defeat the Evil Queen.
But Sonja doesn't need the help of any man, so she begins her quest alone. Along the way, Arnold shows up a couple of times to help her out, and she also runs into a very young prince and his vassal (both who serve as comedic relief), who also become her allies as she fights epic battles to defeat the Evil Queen.
Loved Red Sonja. There was plenty to laugh at -- decapitated heads floating in slow motion through the air! -- which is the point of cheesy movies. But also Red Sonja is a kick ass woman warrior, and despite many cheesy moments, the movie was also genuinely enjoyable to watch. I also love that when Sonja says she will only be with a man who defeats her in a fair battle, the filmmakers went with a tie between Arnold (I don't remember the character's name, okay) and Sonja, rather than having him actually beat her. It turns into a very (purposefully) funny scene when they both collapse in exhaustion the battle for love thus declared a draw. I was most amused. (^_^)
*
From Red Sonja, we moved on to Hundra, a movie neither my friend or I had previously seen. Hundra is the greatest fighter in a tribe of free women, who survive and maintain their freedom by living as nomads and not permitting men into their midst. The women only go into town and associate with men when they desire to get pregnant (if they bear a girl, they raise her in their ways; if a boy, they leave him in the care of the town people). Hundra has no interest in bearing a child of her own and instead hones her skills in fighting and hunting.
It is when she is away on one such hunt that a group of men, who cannot bear to see women free, and so ride into the camp to slaughter all of the women who refuse to live under their rule. The women do not give up without a fight, however, and there is an epic battle in which the women rage against the attacking men, killing many of the men in their attempt to survive. They are ultimately done in by the sheer numbers of the men attacking.
Hundra returns to her to discover the carnage, and is promptly ambushed by the remaining men. She escapes on horseback with the men hot pursuit, but she is able to get to a better fighting location and ends up laying a trap for the men instead. Hundra's fighting skills are rad, and she's also damn clever, so she wipes out these 15 or 20 men with ease, which is awesome.
All of this happens within about 15 minutes of the movie starting, so what I initially thought was going to be a revenge movie turned out to be something else entirely.
As the last of her people, the last representative of a truly free life for women, Hundra is told by an old wise woman that she must find a man to "plant the seed in her" so that she may bear a daughter and raise her in their ways, thus keeping the spirit of her people alive. Hundra travels, looking for a man she's willing to hook up with and eventually finds herself in a large city, where a priest at a temple extracts tribute from various chiefs in exchange for young woman who are trained to be dainty and docile.
Hundra, of course, ends up at the temple (for her own reasons, as the man she wishes to bed is not attracted to her dirty, sweaty, barbarious appearance), and the chiefs offer large sums of money if she can be trained to kneel before them. She learns to bathe and wear makeup and walk gracefully and wear pretty clothes. All the while, I'm thinking to myself, don't let this be some sort of makeover movie in which she is bettered by learning to be a girl. Fortunately, Hundra, for all her makeup and fancy clothes, stays Hundra throughout, refusing to bow or scrap before any man. Her strength or will never waivers.
Hundra is a movie infused with much cheese, mostly due to the OMG! WOMEN'S LIB FTW! aspects of it. My immediate response when it ended was, "Hey, everybody, let's go burn our bras!"
To which my friend said, "Let's burn your bras. Mine are too expensive."
But for all its women's rights and freedom cheer leading, Hundra was an enjoyable movie, no more ridiculous than Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonja or any of the other such movies made in that time period.
*A remake of Red Sonja is supposed to be coming out this year, and according to IMDB, it stars Rose McGowan. I've heard a rumor, however, that she stepped out of the project, but I hope that's not true, because I think she could be a great fit for the character.
Red Sonja*. Attacked by an Evil Queen and her horde, the red-headed Sonja is raped and left for dead with her family murdered and her home burned to the ground. A white floating, entirely unexplained spirit appears before her and tells her that she must live and take her revenge. So Sonja drags herself up and off to train with a bunch of strangely dressed Asian dudes, who shape her into being a great warrior.
Meanwhile, in other parts of this realm, there's a temple housing woman warrior, who protect a glowing green orb, which supposedly created the world, but that has grown too powerful for anyone to control. The women begin a very slow ritual to cast the orb into darkness before it can destroy the world it created, but the ritual is interrupted by the same Evil Queen, who wants to use the orb for her own nefarious purposes. Question: Why is it, more often than not, that when there's a woman who kicks ass, her enemy is also a woman?
One of the warrior priestesses escapes, but she is struck with an arrow just before Arnold Schwartzenegger stumbles across her. She tells him to send a message to Sonja, her sister, about the stealing of the orb and the dangers it holds. He does so, and offers his help in her quest to defeat the Evil Queen.
But Sonja doesn't need the help of any man, so she begins her quest alone. Along the way, Arnold shows up a couple of times to help her out, and she also runs into a very young prince and his vassal (both who serve as comedic relief), who also become her allies as she fights epic battles to defeat the Evil Queen.
Loved Red Sonja. There was plenty to laugh at -- decapitated heads floating in slow motion through the air! -- which is the point of cheesy movies. But also Red Sonja is a kick ass woman warrior, and despite many cheesy moments, the movie was also genuinely enjoyable to watch. I also love that when Sonja says she will only be with a man who defeats her in a fair battle, the filmmakers went with a tie between Arnold (I don't remember the character's name, okay) and Sonja, rather than having him actually beat her. It turns into a very (purposefully) funny scene when they both collapse in exhaustion the battle for love thus declared a draw. I was most amused. (^_^)
*
From Red Sonja, we moved on to Hundra, a movie neither my friend or I had previously seen. Hundra is the greatest fighter in a tribe of free women, who survive and maintain their freedom by living as nomads and not permitting men into their midst. The women only go into town and associate with men when they desire to get pregnant (if they bear a girl, they raise her in their ways; if a boy, they leave him in the care of the town people). Hundra has no interest in bearing a child of her own and instead hones her skills in fighting and hunting.
It is when she is away on one such hunt that a group of men, who cannot bear to see women free, and so ride into the camp to slaughter all of the women who refuse to live under their rule. The women do not give up without a fight, however, and there is an epic battle in which the women rage against the attacking men, killing many of the men in their attempt to survive. They are ultimately done in by the sheer numbers of the men attacking.
Hundra returns to her to discover the carnage, and is promptly ambushed by the remaining men. She escapes on horseback with the men hot pursuit, but she is able to get to a better fighting location and ends up laying a trap for the men instead. Hundra's fighting skills are rad, and she's also damn clever, so she wipes out these 15 or 20 men with ease, which is awesome.
All of this happens within about 15 minutes of the movie starting, so what I initially thought was going to be a revenge movie turned out to be something else entirely.
As the last of her people, the last representative of a truly free life for women, Hundra is told by an old wise woman that she must find a man to "plant the seed in her" so that she may bear a daughter and raise her in their ways, thus keeping the spirit of her people alive. Hundra travels, looking for a man she's willing to hook up with and eventually finds herself in a large city, where a priest at a temple extracts tribute from various chiefs in exchange for young woman who are trained to be dainty and docile.
Hundra, of course, ends up at the temple (for her own reasons, as the man she wishes to bed is not attracted to her dirty, sweaty, barbarious appearance), and the chiefs offer large sums of money if she can be trained to kneel before them. She learns to bathe and wear makeup and walk gracefully and wear pretty clothes. All the while, I'm thinking to myself, don't let this be some sort of makeover movie in which she is bettered by learning to be a girl. Fortunately, Hundra, for all her makeup and fancy clothes, stays Hundra throughout, refusing to bow or scrap before any man. Her strength or will never waivers.
Hundra is a movie infused with much cheese, mostly due to the OMG! WOMEN'S LIB FTW! aspects of it. My immediate response when it ended was, "Hey, everybody, let's go burn our bras!"
To which my friend said, "Let's burn your bras. Mine are too expensive."
But for all its women's rights and freedom cheer leading, Hundra was an enjoyable movie, no more ridiculous than Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonja or any of the other such movies made in that time period.
*A remake of Red Sonja is supposed to be coming out this year, and according to IMDB, it stars Rose McGowan. I've heard a rumor, however, that she stepped out of the project, but I hope that's not true, because I think she could be a great fit for the character.