(no subject)
i am in the middle of packing for hawaii and i am having an anxiety attack. i am so incredibly excited and nervous about the next two weeks of my life that i want to vomit all over myself. in a week from tomorrow i am going to sitting on delta flight 803, seat 44C on my way from atlanta to honolulu. with the love of my life holding my hand the entire way.
i am petttrified of flying. it's not even the threat of death that gets me...it's the claustrophobia of it all. sitting in a confined space for 10 hours at a time, breathing in recycled oxygen with a bunch of strangers that i don't know, not being able to get up and get a breath of fresh air and enjoy my own personal space. i know this seems silly but it really freaks me out and gives me a horrible anxiety attack. i've never taken xanax before but my friend stephanie is going to give me some for these flights so i don't make them make an emergency landing somewhere or something. ugh. i just have to close my eyes and think about how many celebrities do this on a daily basis...back and forth between states, countries, time zones. if they can do it--why can't i?
i don't know how i got so lucky as to find an amazing man who is willing to spend hundreds of dollars just to have me in his bed for a week in hawaii. i cannot fathom why anyone would ever wanna do that for me. i mean, i know i deserve to be treated well but the difference between buying someone a beer and buying someone a round trip ticket halfway across the globe is mind boggling to me. i just can't comprehend it.
i have nothing packed so far. i am undecided as to what to bring and i'm really an amateur packer. this week is going to go by so quickly for me and i know that if i wait any longer i'll start forgetting things, but i'm drawing a blank.
so far all i have packed is lingerie and bathing suits. lol. =]
everything is coming together so wonderfully in my life right now. i have a new group of friends from work whom i absolutely adore. i love my job. everything at home is getting much better and everyone is really starting to come together as family in the house and enjoy spending time together. things with dan have loosened and i'm starting to be able to fully and completely break away from him. my son is the most amazing specimen on this earth and to have the privilege to spend every single day with him teaching him things and watching him grow is perhaps the most beautiful joy i've ever experienced in my life. he'll be 2 on the 7th and i can't believe time has flown! and last but not least, things with rob and i are absolutely amazing.
rob and i have been biting each other's heads off for the past week.....but we both know this is temporary and only because we are simply sick of being apart. but at the end of the day, we're awake until ungodly hours on skype and talking about our future, marriage, children and i know that we're meant to be. he is the *second* best thing to ever happen to my life and i am going to do whatever is in my power to make sure that he sticks around indefinitely.
i'm going to thanksgiving at my older half sister, stephanie's house this year. this will be the first time in my almost 23 years on this earth spending a holiday with my dad's side of the family and i couldn't be happier. my dad is scheduled to land here at JFK tonight from new mexico and he is bringing my adoptive little brother, ben with him. i have never spent more than 10 minutes with my little brother and i'm pretty excited to be able to get to know him. he's 4 years old. it's odd to see my dad with him though because he is really, really into being a dad to him. but he has 5 other kids that he abandoned and left to be raised by their mothers. this time, he's a single dad and he's doing everything he can for him. i think ben represents all the times he fucked up and the lives he shook up for all these years.
whatever, thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and i am going to make the best of it. it's going to be great. :)
ROB IN 6 DAYSSSSSSSS. i love love LOVE you <3
i am petttrified of flying. it's not even the threat of death that gets me...it's the claustrophobia of it all. sitting in a confined space for 10 hours at a time, breathing in recycled oxygen with a bunch of strangers that i don't know, not being able to get up and get a breath of fresh air and enjoy my own personal space. i know this seems silly but it really freaks me out and gives me a horrible anxiety attack. i've never taken xanax before but my friend stephanie is going to give me some for these flights so i don't make them make an emergency landing somewhere or something. ugh. i just have to close my eyes and think about how many celebrities do this on a daily basis...back and forth between states, countries, time zones. if they can do it--why can't i?
i don't know how i got so lucky as to find an amazing man who is willing to spend hundreds of dollars just to have me in his bed for a week in hawaii. i cannot fathom why anyone would ever wanna do that for me. i mean, i know i deserve to be treated well but the difference between buying someone a beer and buying someone a round trip ticket halfway across the globe is mind boggling to me. i just can't comprehend it.
i have nothing packed so far. i am undecided as to what to bring and i'm really an amateur packer. this week is going to go by so quickly for me and i know that if i wait any longer i'll start forgetting things, but i'm drawing a blank.
so far all i have packed is lingerie and bathing suits. lol. =]
everything is coming together so wonderfully in my life right now. i have a new group of friends from work whom i absolutely adore. i love my job. everything at home is getting much better and everyone is really starting to come together as family in the house and enjoy spending time together. things with dan have loosened and i'm starting to be able to fully and completely break away from him. my son is the most amazing specimen on this earth and to have the privilege to spend every single day with him teaching him things and watching him grow is perhaps the most beautiful joy i've ever experienced in my life. he'll be 2 on the 7th and i can't believe time has flown! and last but not least, things with rob and i are absolutely amazing.
rob and i have been biting each other's heads off for the past week.....but we both know this is temporary and only because we are simply sick of being apart. but at the end of the day, we're awake until ungodly hours on skype and talking about our future, marriage, children and i know that we're meant to be. he is the *second* best thing to ever happen to my life and i am going to do whatever is in my power to make sure that he sticks around indefinitely.
i'm going to thanksgiving at my older half sister, stephanie's house this year. this will be the first time in my almost 23 years on this earth spending a holiday with my dad's side of the family and i couldn't be happier. my dad is scheduled to land here at JFK tonight from new mexico and he is bringing my adoptive little brother, ben with him. i have never spent more than 10 minutes with my little brother and i'm pretty excited to be able to get to know him. he's 4 years old. it's odd to see my dad with him though because he is really, really into being a dad to him. but he has 5 other kids that he abandoned and left to be raised by their mothers. this time, he's a single dad and he's doing everything he can for him. i think ben represents all the times he fucked up and the lives he shook up for all these years.
whatever, thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and i am going to make the best of it. it's going to be great. :)
ROB IN 6 DAYSSSSSSSS. i love love LOVE you <3