Defcon 2: Espionage infiltration of the fortification; death in the past, present, and future
His room had been silent for awhile. He pushed the 10th to let him back in the field but he refused and only gave him a few odd jobs to help him keep his mind off of things.
Needless to say, he was in a bad way.
Things didn’t get too messy tonight. However, I had been working overtime. I was incredibly happy to hear that the 10th was going to let him get back into the game now. I hate to admit it but I need the backup.
And here I am, at present, standing outside his door just staring at it like a fool. I let my eyes drift to my shoes with a grunt. What the hell was I thinking coming here?
I paced along the hallway subconsciously and soon found myself lighting yet another cigarette. I stopped momentarily, exhaling the soothing stream of smoke and took another glance at his ominous doorway.
“Fuck it.” I growled and strode with false confidence toward the door. I let the cigarette dangle from my lips as I rapped on the door vigorously.
I listened for the shuffling behind the closed door and took a step back when I guessed that it would swing open.
He poked his head out, his expression changing from confusion to something I couldn’t quite recognize.
“Gokudera?” He asked slowly and articulately.
“You look like shit.” I stated as I put my fingers to my mouth and removed the cigarette from my lips. I put my hand on the middle of the door and pushed my way past him despite his protests. I’m simply done dealing with his bullshit.
Yamamoto came up from behind me after shutting the door and apologized for the state of his room.
It was a mess. Dirty clothes were piled and scattered across the threshold. Trash littered the floor. The only places that carpet was actually visible were a small pathway from the door to the bed then from the bed to the bathroom.
I gave him a look that indicated my displeasure and well, it was a little repulsive. He looked nothing short of utterly embarrassed. As he should be.
“You weren’t supposed to see this.” He stated sadly and moved over to sit on his bed. I ignored the statement and continued to assess the room.
“10th says you’re back in the field tomorrow but now I’m not quite sure if that’s a good idea.” I stated as I took another drag. I ashed on his floor uncaringly. Nothing could improve or even add to the current state of the room.
“No, no. I’m fine. I just need to do some cleaning. I was fine a week ago, seriously.” He stated, standing up suddenly and beginning to shove piles of clothes into big, quasi-neater heaps.
I moved over to this bed and sat calmly, eyeing him as he went about the room. I turned my attention to the cigarette between my fingers and I watched the smoke billow from the end with far more interest.
“Stop ashing on my floor. Here.” He said as he handed me my ash tray. He always kept one in his room for me.
He stopped his futile cleaning and sat beside me.
“I need another room.”
“Why is that?” I asked. I put out my cigarette and placed the ash tray on his bedside table after shoving a few items off of it to make room of course.
“Well, because this is where I found out. This room is depressing.” He looked down at his clasped hands as he spoke. “That’s why I wanted Tsuna to give me an assignment.”
“So you wouldn’t be holed up in your room crying?” I asked. He nodded solemnly.
“I kept telling him I was fine.”
“Come on. Even a week doesn’t seem like long enough. Your dad died. You should be a mess.” I said. This conversation was already making me crave another cigarette. I somehow held back from reaching into my pocket however.
His problem was -and this is where the bullshit resided- that he did chain himself to his room, without sunlight, cleanliness, or company.
His hands rose to his face and he fell back on his unmade bed.
“Oh God, a week from today.” I could see tears forming in his eyes again. I looked away, suddenly feeling very awkward when that first choking sob escaped his lips. That cigarette was calling my name, just begging me to light up. I sighed and lifted my hand. What do I do in this kind of situation?
My hand hovered over his body. I hesitated but ultimately decided to suck it up and try to console him in some way. As if I knew anything about comforting people. My hand connected with his leg, right above his knee. I looked away toward the opposite wall while I gave what I supposed was a friendly squeeze.
Either he didn’t notice or he just didn’t react. I set my right elbow on my knee and hunched over to place my chin in my hand. What the hell did I get myself into?
I idly began to rub that spot, a small area around his knee. I just wanted the sobbing and whimpering to stop, not because I’m cold-hearted and can’t find the sympathy but because I’ve never seen him like this and I’ve never really been good at this sort of thing.
How did I get myself in this position? I continued to rub. Things were getting pretty intense, how am I supposed to react? Do I sit here quietly? Should I just leave? Now that sounds like it might be a good idea.
I saw him sit up abruptly from the corner of my eye. I looked at him oddly, he seemed shocked by something. I followed his line of vision to his lap.
That’s when I realized where my hand was.
I sat up straight, mirroring his previous movements. I took my hand back and grasped it in the other one as if it’d been shot. Somehow, unthinkingly my hand had migrated toward his crotch. I was careless. What the hell was I doing? If things weren’t bad enough, now they were worse.
I finally met his gaze and in that split second fear shot through me. He was staring at me intensely, studying my expression.
I wanted to tell him it was an accident. That I was sorry, but before I could his hands had moved up to grasp the hair on either side of my face and he pulled me to him.
He was kissing me and I was stunned. A moment later, a weird sensation ran through me and I was kissing him back forcefully. It was as if there was something deep inside me, all this time that was secretly craving this.
It was hot and our kisses were hard. I exhaled deeply through my nose and I almost hated how needy it sounded. It was back and forth, one trying to overpower the other. When I finally won and began to push him down onto the bed that was when I started to realize what was really happening.
I pulled away and looked down at him. Suddenly, I was saddened by our display. Well, mine at least. I almost felt like I was taking advantage of him, but I dismissed that thought quickly. He wasn’t some girl who’d just gotten her heart broken. Still it didn’t quite feel right.
It pained me much more than I would have ever imagined when I climbed off him and stood.
“I should go.” I stated as I stuffed my hands into my pockets and turned toward the door.
“Wait!” I turned the moment I heard his voice. “Just please, don’t go.” I hesitated when I caught a whiff of desperation. “Please.” This time it sounded less like begging. Instead it was empowered and breathtakingly heady.
That’s clearly all I needed because I instantaneously climbed on top of him once again. Now it was faultlessly, unerringly right. Every moment of it. Whatever ‘it’ was. I straddled his legs and attached myself to his lips. In a flash I realized that this was less about his pain and suffering and more about what we both needed.
Our kisses were feverish and naturally, I began to roll my hips forward. I could feel the stretch of raised eyebrows, shocked by the sensations brought out by my actions. I moved closer to him and my movements became more sporadic.
He finally began to really vocalize with long drawn out groans.
All too soon, I felt myself being lifted and roughly deposited onto his bed. I guess all of the questioning and doubt had finally been removed and in the end the only thing that was left was pure lust.
He ripped my pants from my body and there was no need to wonder what I wanted at that exact moment. However, I had to retract that thought when I realized the position I happened to be in.
I sat up quickly and shot him a confused look.
“No way.” I breached the subject.
Yamamoto let out a short laugh. “Yes. How did you think this was going to play out?” He asked smoothly. Would it sound like I had attachment issues if I said that this was the Yamamoto I used to know?
I waved my hands in front of me as a way of saying that I simply was not going to back down. However, this wasn’t the naïve Yamamoto from grade school or even the depressed man I’d been attempting to comfort just a few minutes ago. This was a much stronger person.
He shoved me back down, his eyes wide with excitement and he began to rub his groin against mine like I had done earlier. Well, maybe I could let him just this time… No! I won’t back down.
Yamamoto fisted my hair again while his mouth found its way to my ear lobe. My eyes drifted closed without me telling them to. Before I knew it I had wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other one was being smoothed through his short black hair.
My breathing got heavy and I noticed it too late. Even the moan that bubbled from the pit of my stomach came with a complete disregard to my wishes.
“Fine.” I announced around a deep groan. I was already regretting my only half-conscious decision when he jumped off of me and dug through the nearest side-table drawer. The bigger fear here was just how much I was really going to regret this decision in the morning.
In seconds (which came as a surprise to me that he could find anything in this mess) he returned with a small pump bottle of lotion. Yamamoto didn’t delay in pushing down on the dispenser and pooling a liberal amount in his palm.
He coated two fingers with little patience and went straight for the kill. I tensed up and shut my eyes hard. After awhile I opened my eyes and I gave him a sharp glare.
“You bastard.” I growled low. Unfortunately I think my statement merely turned him on even more. He gave me a look that said sorry but he kept his fingers snuggly inside of me.
He slowly began moving his fingers, it was a little too soon for me but who knows if I ever would have been totally prepared for him to continue.
It wasn’t until he added another finger that he started actually stretching me out and honestly, none of it felt particularly good. No foreplay for us. Which was oddly exemplary of how we did business. Simply put, we get shit done.
When he thought I was ready -well, it’s not like I could really tell, all of it hurt- he pumped out more lotion and coated himself with it.
He moved closer and maneuvered the tip in and I couldn’t stop the hiss of pain that it caused. He rubbed my outer thigh and I silently thanked him for the gesture, which was odd -even despite my lack of vocalization- because I was kind of pissed at him due to his inability to be patient by any means.
Like ripping a band-aid off of a leg wound be drove into me with one motion. My head shot backward and my mouth hung open with a silent scream. I’d felt worse.
He languidly moved up my body and kissed around my chin. I moved my head level and let him kiss my lips with a tenderness I no longer thought he possessed.
I let myself get wrapped up in his kisses and soon he began to move. He rocked his hips back then slowly slid forward. Somehow, the bumbling idiot was able to hit a spot that shook my body on his first roll of the dice.
I clawed at his back as my toes began to curl, all as a voiceless plea for him to do it again. He rolled back and slammed forward with much more force and here he was, able to pinpoint its location again. I left long scratch marks across his back and I felt my legs kick and writhe uncontrollably.
With each thrust I could feel myself getting closer. My breathing got heavier in time with his and soon I was panting and moaning with the force of his hips. His pace sped up and he moved farther on top of me, letting gravity pull his hips down along with the strength of his muscles and tendons.
The sensations were like nothing I’d ever experienced and I soon began to choke around each moan. It wouldn’t be much longer. Overtop me, Yamamoto’s breathing was becoming more and more ragged as time wore on. Each thrust was encased in a heavy, lustful groan.
I told him that I wanted it faster and harder. That I was close. Things were spilling from my mouth that I knew no matter how badly I wanted to take them back, I couldn’t.
He did as he was told and he gripped the sheets and shoved all of his weight behind his hips, driving deep inside me and still somehow hitting that spot.
In a flash, it was all over and all that was left were the two of us in a tangled heap of sweat, and cum, and hot flesh. He gripped my shoulders and I could feel his breath on my skin.
Needless to say, I don’t fucking cuddle.
I shoved him off of me and he nearly fell straight off the bed. I rolled over and searched the floor for my pants. I spotted them easily and reached into the pocket for a much needed cigarette.
After lighting it and taking that first blissfully relaxing drag, I looked over to see Yamamoto glaring at me. “Oh, I’m sorry. How did you think this was going to play out?” I said, sarcastically repeating the bastard’s own words.
Oddly enough, the man cracked a smile. “I’m glad you didn’t go.”
I looked down after he spoke. I stared at the lit end of my cigarette as if it was the most enthralling thing in the world but I couldn’t stop the small upturn of my lips.
“Me too.”
.........
Needless to say, he was in a bad way.
Things didn’t get too messy tonight. However, I had been working overtime. I was incredibly happy to hear that the 10th was going to let him get back into the game now. I hate to admit it but I need the backup.
And here I am, at present, standing outside his door just staring at it like a fool. I let my eyes drift to my shoes with a grunt. What the hell was I thinking coming here?
I paced along the hallway subconsciously and soon found myself lighting yet another cigarette. I stopped momentarily, exhaling the soothing stream of smoke and took another glance at his ominous doorway.
“Fuck it.” I growled and strode with false confidence toward the door. I let the cigarette dangle from my lips as I rapped on the door vigorously.
I listened for the shuffling behind the closed door and took a step back when I guessed that it would swing open.
He poked his head out, his expression changing from confusion to something I couldn’t quite recognize.
“Gokudera?” He asked slowly and articulately.
“You look like shit.” I stated as I put my fingers to my mouth and removed the cigarette from my lips. I put my hand on the middle of the door and pushed my way past him despite his protests. I’m simply done dealing with his bullshit.
Yamamoto came up from behind me after shutting the door and apologized for the state of his room.
It was a mess. Dirty clothes were piled and scattered across the threshold. Trash littered the floor. The only places that carpet was actually visible were a small pathway from the door to the bed then from the bed to the bathroom.
I gave him a look that indicated my displeasure and well, it was a little repulsive. He looked nothing short of utterly embarrassed. As he should be.
“You weren’t supposed to see this.” He stated sadly and moved over to sit on his bed. I ignored the statement and continued to assess the room.
“10th says you’re back in the field tomorrow but now I’m not quite sure if that’s a good idea.” I stated as I took another drag. I ashed on his floor uncaringly. Nothing could improve or even add to the current state of the room.
“No, no. I’m fine. I just need to do some cleaning. I was fine a week ago, seriously.” He stated, standing up suddenly and beginning to shove piles of clothes into big, quasi-neater heaps.
I moved over to this bed and sat calmly, eyeing him as he went about the room. I turned my attention to the cigarette between my fingers and I watched the smoke billow from the end with far more interest.
“Stop ashing on my floor. Here.” He said as he handed me my ash tray. He always kept one in his room for me.
He stopped his futile cleaning and sat beside me.
“I need another room.”
“Why is that?” I asked. I put out my cigarette and placed the ash tray on his bedside table after shoving a few items off of it to make room of course.
“Well, because this is where I found out. This room is depressing.” He looked down at his clasped hands as he spoke. “That’s why I wanted Tsuna to give me an assignment.”
“So you wouldn’t be holed up in your room crying?” I asked. He nodded solemnly.
“I kept telling him I was fine.”
“Come on. Even a week doesn’t seem like long enough. Your dad died. You should be a mess.” I said. This conversation was already making me crave another cigarette. I somehow held back from reaching into my pocket however.
His problem was -and this is where the bullshit resided- that he did chain himself to his room, without sunlight, cleanliness, or company.
His hands rose to his face and he fell back on his unmade bed.
“Oh God, a week from today.” I could see tears forming in his eyes again. I looked away, suddenly feeling very awkward when that first choking sob escaped his lips. That cigarette was calling my name, just begging me to light up. I sighed and lifted my hand. What do I do in this kind of situation?
My hand hovered over his body. I hesitated but ultimately decided to suck it up and try to console him in some way. As if I knew anything about comforting people. My hand connected with his leg, right above his knee. I looked away toward the opposite wall while I gave what I supposed was a friendly squeeze.
Either he didn’t notice or he just didn’t react. I set my right elbow on my knee and hunched over to place my chin in my hand. What the hell did I get myself into?
I idly began to rub that spot, a small area around his knee. I just wanted the sobbing and whimpering to stop, not because I’m cold-hearted and can’t find the sympathy but because I’ve never seen him like this and I’ve never really been good at this sort of thing.
How did I get myself in this position? I continued to rub. Things were getting pretty intense, how am I supposed to react? Do I sit here quietly? Should I just leave? Now that sounds like it might be a good idea.
I saw him sit up abruptly from the corner of my eye. I looked at him oddly, he seemed shocked by something. I followed his line of vision to his lap.
That’s when I realized where my hand was.
I sat up straight, mirroring his previous movements. I took my hand back and grasped it in the other one as if it’d been shot. Somehow, unthinkingly my hand had migrated toward his crotch. I was careless. What the hell was I doing? If things weren’t bad enough, now they were worse.
I finally met his gaze and in that split second fear shot through me. He was staring at me intensely, studying my expression.
I wanted to tell him it was an accident. That I was sorry, but before I could his hands had moved up to grasp the hair on either side of my face and he pulled me to him.
He was kissing me and I was stunned. A moment later, a weird sensation ran through me and I was kissing him back forcefully. It was as if there was something deep inside me, all this time that was secretly craving this.
It was hot and our kisses were hard. I exhaled deeply through my nose and I almost hated how needy it sounded. It was back and forth, one trying to overpower the other. When I finally won and began to push him down onto the bed that was when I started to realize what was really happening.
I pulled away and looked down at him. Suddenly, I was saddened by our display. Well, mine at least. I almost felt like I was taking advantage of him, but I dismissed that thought quickly. He wasn’t some girl who’d just gotten her heart broken. Still it didn’t quite feel right.
It pained me much more than I would have ever imagined when I climbed off him and stood.
“I should go.” I stated as I stuffed my hands into my pockets and turned toward the door.
“Wait!” I turned the moment I heard his voice. “Just please, don’t go.” I hesitated when I caught a whiff of desperation. “Please.” This time it sounded less like begging. Instead it was empowered and breathtakingly heady.
That’s clearly all I needed because I instantaneously climbed on top of him once again. Now it was faultlessly, unerringly right. Every moment of it. Whatever ‘it’ was. I straddled his legs and attached myself to his lips. In a flash I realized that this was less about his pain and suffering and more about what we both needed.
Our kisses were feverish and naturally, I began to roll my hips forward. I could feel the stretch of raised eyebrows, shocked by the sensations brought out by my actions. I moved closer to him and my movements became more sporadic.
He finally began to really vocalize with long drawn out groans.
All too soon, I felt myself being lifted and roughly deposited onto his bed. I guess all of the questioning and doubt had finally been removed and in the end the only thing that was left was pure lust.
He ripped my pants from my body and there was no need to wonder what I wanted at that exact moment. However, I had to retract that thought when I realized the position I happened to be in.
I sat up quickly and shot him a confused look.
“No way.” I breached the subject.
Yamamoto let out a short laugh. “Yes. How did you think this was going to play out?” He asked smoothly. Would it sound like I had attachment issues if I said that this was the Yamamoto I used to know?
I waved my hands in front of me as a way of saying that I simply was not going to back down. However, this wasn’t the naïve Yamamoto from grade school or even the depressed man I’d been attempting to comfort just a few minutes ago. This was a much stronger person.
He shoved me back down, his eyes wide with excitement and he began to rub his groin against mine like I had done earlier. Well, maybe I could let him just this time… No! I won’t back down.
Yamamoto fisted my hair again while his mouth found its way to my ear lobe. My eyes drifted closed without me telling them to. Before I knew it I had wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other one was being smoothed through his short black hair.
My breathing got heavy and I noticed it too late. Even the moan that bubbled from the pit of my stomach came with a complete disregard to my wishes.
“Fine.” I announced around a deep groan. I was already regretting my only half-conscious decision when he jumped off of me and dug through the nearest side-table drawer. The bigger fear here was just how much I was really going to regret this decision in the morning.
In seconds (which came as a surprise to me that he could find anything in this mess) he returned with a small pump bottle of lotion. Yamamoto didn’t delay in pushing down on the dispenser and pooling a liberal amount in his palm.
He coated two fingers with little patience and went straight for the kill. I tensed up and shut my eyes hard. After awhile I opened my eyes and I gave him a sharp glare.
“You bastard.” I growled low. Unfortunately I think my statement merely turned him on even more. He gave me a look that said sorry but he kept his fingers snuggly inside of me.
He slowly began moving his fingers, it was a little too soon for me but who knows if I ever would have been totally prepared for him to continue.
It wasn’t until he added another finger that he started actually stretching me out and honestly, none of it felt particularly good. No foreplay for us. Which was oddly exemplary of how we did business. Simply put, we get shit done.
When he thought I was ready -well, it’s not like I could really tell, all of it hurt- he pumped out more lotion and coated himself with it.
He moved closer and maneuvered the tip in and I couldn’t stop the hiss of pain that it caused. He rubbed my outer thigh and I silently thanked him for the gesture, which was odd -even despite my lack of vocalization- because I was kind of pissed at him due to his inability to be patient by any means.
Like ripping a band-aid off of a leg wound be drove into me with one motion. My head shot backward and my mouth hung open with a silent scream. I’d felt worse.
He languidly moved up my body and kissed around my chin. I moved my head level and let him kiss my lips with a tenderness I no longer thought he possessed.
I let myself get wrapped up in his kisses and soon he began to move. He rocked his hips back then slowly slid forward. Somehow, the bumbling idiot was able to hit a spot that shook my body on his first roll of the dice.
I clawed at his back as my toes began to curl, all as a voiceless plea for him to do it again. He rolled back and slammed forward with much more force and here he was, able to pinpoint its location again. I left long scratch marks across his back and I felt my legs kick and writhe uncontrollably.
With each thrust I could feel myself getting closer. My breathing got heavier in time with his and soon I was panting and moaning with the force of his hips. His pace sped up and he moved farther on top of me, letting gravity pull his hips down along with the strength of his muscles and tendons.
The sensations were like nothing I’d ever experienced and I soon began to choke around each moan. It wouldn’t be much longer. Overtop me, Yamamoto’s breathing was becoming more and more ragged as time wore on. Each thrust was encased in a heavy, lustful groan.
I told him that I wanted it faster and harder. That I was close. Things were spilling from my mouth that I knew no matter how badly I wanted to take them back, I couldn’t.
He did as he was told and he gripped the sheets and shoved all of his weight behind his hips, driving deep inside me and still somehow hitting that spot.
In a flash, it was all over and all that was left were the two of us in a tangled heap of sweat, and cum, and hot flesh. He gripped my shoulders and I could feel his breath on my skin.
Needless to say, I don’t fucking cuddle.
I shoved him off of me and he nearly fell straight off the bed. I rolled over and searched the floor for my pants. I spotted them easily and reached into the pocket for a much needed cigarette.
After lighting it and taking that first blissfully relaxing drag, I looked over to see Yamamoto glaring at me. “Oh, I’m sorry. How did you think this was going to play out?” I said, sarcastically repeating the bastard’s own words.
Oddly enough, the man cracked a smile. “I’m glad you didn’t go.”
I looked down after he spoke. I stared at the lit end of my cigarette as if it was the most enthralling thing in the world but I couldn’t stop the small upturn of my lips.
“Me too.”
.........