Here I go Again.....
*sigh*
It seems that's all I ever do lately is sigh. I read others problems or life statements and think," How come I get so jealous at others' misery?" Yeah, I know it's weird. As a general statement everyone views their own misery as more miserable than anyone else's misery. That's my opinion. I tend to follow that kind of trend. Maybe it's just me being a drama queen or me being hormonally imbalanced. I don't really care. I just know that one minute I'm fine and semi happy considering all the stresses and then all of a sudden there's drama me with a fountain of tears. I'm so telling my doctor about this. To make things worse I've been getting so down that I have ridiculously stupid thoughts going through my mind, like hurting myself. (Drama drama drama) Nobody wants to hear any of this. Mel only tells me to cheer and that she's sorry I feel like shit. Not helpful as much as I want it to be. Everyone else here has their own problems to deal with. I guess I should be an "adult" and suck it up. The kicker is I hear myself screaming that it's gonna be ok and that things aren't all bad, and yet I can't shake these feelings away. I have dreams of feeling unwanted or of ppl trying to kill me. It disturbs me to think that my own brain has turned against me. I'm in a constant war with myself. (God, I sound like some emo highschool cutters that do nothing with their lives because they think that they won't live that long.) I need help. I have help. Help doesn't work right now because she has no time for me. It's sad when the school counselor has so many people to see that she has to put off her regulars to see the absolute crazies. In between wanting to kill or commit violent acts and happy giggly-ness is the tearmaster. That time inbetween is getting larger than I can handle. I don't think I can handle all this stress plus pain from wisdom teeth and migraines, but I know I'll live in the end.
Dismiss all you read here. It's just the crazy ramblings of a hormonal/depressed/stressed/in pain/college student on the brink of insanity. Nobody cares anyway.
Later,
xoxoxoxoxo
It seems that's all I ever do lately is sigh. I read others problems or life statements and think," How come I get so jealous at others' misery?" Yeah, I know it's weird. As a general statement everyone views their own misery as more miserable than anyone else's misery. That's my opinion. I tend to follow that kind of trend. Maybe it's just me being a drama queen or me being hormonally imbalanced. I don't really care. I just know that one minute I'm fine and semi happy considering all the stresses and then all of a sudden there's drama me with a fountain of tears. I'm so telling my doctor about this. To make things worse I've been getting so down that I have ridiculously stupid thoughts going through my mind, like hurting myself. (Drama drama drama) Nobody wants to hear any of this. Mel only tells me to cheer and that she's sorry I feel like shit. Not helpful as much as I want it to be. Everyone else here has their own problems to deal with. I guess I should be an "adult" and suck it up. The kicker is I hear myself screaming that it's gonna be ok and that things aren't all bad, and yet I can't shake these feelings away. I have dreams of feeling unwanted or of ppl trying to kill me. It disturbs me to think that my own brain has turned against me. I'm in a constant war with myself. (God, I sound like some emo highschool cutters that do nothing with their lives because they think that they won't live that long.) I need help. I have help. Help doesn't work right now because she has no time for me. It's sad when the school counselor has so many people to see that she has to put off her regulars to see the absolute crazies. In between wanting to kill or commit violent acts and happy giggly-ness is the tearmaster. That time inbetween is getting larger than I can handle. I don't think I can handle all this stress plus pain from wisdom teeth and migraines, but I know I'll live in the end.
Dismiss all you read here. It's just the crazy ramblings of a hormonal/depressed/stressed/in pain/college student on the brink of insanity. Nobody cares anyway.
Later,
xoxoxoxoxo