speechless.
no pun intended. or maybe some. i dunno, it's been a while since i've blogged. there hasn't been that much going on since i've been nerding it up in waterpoo for so many weekends. but there's something so wrong with me. i should be working harder than ever right now, but over these past few days, i can't seem to find that extra boost of motivation. and if failing afm102 last friday isn't motivation, i don't know what is. i was suppose to give my informative speech this afternoon. i stayed up til almost 5am cause i didn't feel like finishing it or practicing it til 3am. skipped math109 this morning cause i really needed to sleep.
but i dodged a bullet today, cause i didn't end up speaking. but the circumstances for our spcom223 class cancellation wasn't exactly the greatest. the first speaker had panic attack or nervous breakdown of some sort. please don't laugh, it may seem funny, but watching it all in person wasn't. it was the scariest thing i've seen in a while. an ambulance was called; i left the building before EMS arrived. it was so unexpected. this person had such a presence and confidence just ouzed out of their voice during our first impromptu speeches a few weeks ago. i guess it just goes to show that anyone can break down.
maybe i'm going through a breakdown. physically, it's happening since i haven't been sleeping, eating junk food and haven't been to the gym in a week. mentally, i just don't know anymore. i was seriously 'evaluating' my life 2-3 weeks ago, then it got pushed aside cause i needed that brain capacity to study. i still need it to study. thats all for now.
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edit: i DO realize that i've been complaining on LJ a lot (and in person). and yes know i shouldn't be complaining so much. no one held a gun to my head and said WATERLOO or DIE; i chose to come to a good program at a good school. if anything, i should have expected this.
*75*75*75*75*75*75*75*75*75*75* that's all i need.