The Bluth Yacht, Late Saturday night
GOB was thinking. After last night's radio and two voicemails, one placed and one received, he had something to think about.
This wasn't doing him any good, though, so he made a phone call.
"Michael, I need advice."
"Hello? GOB?"
"Yeah. So, say you're in something that you can't call a relationship out of fear for your life..."
"Why would I ever say that, GOB?"
"I don't know, because you were drunk. Anyway, you had a really good day with the woman in question..."
"What woman is this?"
"The one who runs the brothel."
"Still?"
"Yeah. What's with the surprise?"
"You just don't usually stay with women this long. Aside from Marta or your wife, when's the last time you were in a relat--"
"Don't say it or a ninja might stab you."
"..."
"It's true."
"Relationship. I said it."
"..."
"GOB?"
"Look behind you now, Michael!"
"..."
"Michael?"
"There is no one behind me."
"That's what she wants you to think."
"Anway, when's the last time you've been with a woman this long?"
"We're not married."
"..."
"We're not."
"I didn't say you were."
"Good. Because we're not."
"... So, you needed advice?"
"Yeah, so anyway, you have a good day out with this woman, there's skee ball, there's fun in a tunnel--"
"I didn't need to hear that."
"No, there was a carnival. They had a Tunnel of 'L'-word that I'm not saying in case of ninjas."
"Love?"
"Been stabbed by a ninja?"
"Not yet."
"Good. Yeah, that thing."
"Okay, good. I thought you were telling me about your sex life."
"I didn't have sex in the tunnel, Michael."
"Good."
"A sex act was very handwavily performed--"
"GOB, stop!"
"-- on me in the tunnel."
"I really didn't need to hear that."
"Yes, you did, it's part of the story. So, that's done, then we're making out in the open, which is a change of pace."
"I don't suppose you stopped because other people were getting nauseated?"
"No, we stopped because she didn't care for seeing people staring, which kind of surprised me, you know?"
"No, I don't. You needed advice?"
"So earlier in the day, before we met up, we both visited the kissing booths, and that got reported on the radio."
"So you two have problems with each other kissing other people?"
"If her voicemail is any indication, yeah."
"Honesty works best. Sit down, talk it out, come to an understanding and move past it. She's obviously special to you if--"
"No, I want to stick it to her, Michael. She paid to kiss someone else! That's cheating!"
"GOB. You're a cheater. You paid to kiss someone, too."
"Which is why I need advice. How do I stick it to her without her getting me on the same thing?"
"..."
"Michael?"
"Bye, GOB."
"Michael! Don't hang up... Fine. I'll try again."
"The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. You have reached the mailbox for Michael Bluth. Please leave a message after the beep."
"Michael, it's GOB. Get back to me with that advice ASAP, okay, buddy? Thanks."
This wasn't doing him any good, though, so he made a phone call.
"Michael, I need advice."
"Hello? GOB?"
"Yeah. So, say you're in something that you can't call a relationship out of fear for your life..."
"Why would I ever say that, GOB?"
"I don't know, because you were drunk. Anyway, you had a really good day with the woman in question..."
"What woman is this?"
"The one who runs the brothel."
"Still?"
"Yeah. What's with the surprise?"
"You just don't usually stay with women this long. Aside from Marta or your wife, when's the last time you were in a relat--"
"Don't say it or a ninja might stab you."
"..."
"It's true."
"Relationship. I said it."
"..."
"GOB?"
"Look behind you now, Michael!"
"..."
"Michael?"
"There is no one behind me."
"That's what she wants you to think."
"Anway, when's the last time you've been with a woman this long?"
"We're not married."
"..."
"We're not."
"I didn't say you were."
"Good. Because we're not."
"... So, you needed advice?"
"Yeah, so anyway, you have a good day out with this woman, there's skee ball, there's fun in a tunnel--"
"I didn't need to hear that."
"No, there was a carnival. They had a Tunnel of 'L'-word that I'm not saying in case of ninjas."
"Love?"
"Been stabbed by a ninja?"
"Not yet."
"Good. Yeah, that thing."
"Okay, good. I thought you were telling me about your sex life."
"I didn't have sex in the tunnel, Michael."
"Good."
"A sex act was very handwavily performed--"
"GOB, stop!"
"-- on me in the tunnel."
"I really didn't need to hear that."
"Yes, you did, it's part of the story. So, that's done, then we're making out in the open, which is a change of pace."
"I don't suppose you stopped because other people were getting nauseated?"
"No, we stopped because she didn't care for seeing people staring, which kind of surprised me, you know?"
"No, I don't. You needed advice?"
"So earlier in the day, before we met up, we both visited the kissing booths, and that got reported on the radio."
"So you two have problems with each other kissing other people?"
"If her voicemail is any indication, yeah."
"Honesty works best. Sit down, talk it out, come to an understanding and move past it. She's obviously special to you if--"
"No, I want to stick it to her, Michael. She paid to kiss someone else! That's cheating!"
"GOB. You're a cheater. You paid to kiss someone, too."
"Which is why I need advice. How do I stick it to her without her getting me on the same thing?"
"..."
"Michael?"
"Bye, GOB."
"Michael! Don't hang up... Fine. I'll try again."
"The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. You have reached the mailbox for Michael Bluth. Please leave a message after the beep."
"Michael, it's GOB. Get back to me with that advice ASAP, okay, buddy? Thanks."