I Find This Offensive!
Last night was... Interesting, to say the least. That is, it was interesting until I unlatched the soiled towel from my shoulders and stopped pretending I was Superbum at the Field Days. No, I jest - I wouldn't deign to cause the masses attending the fair to delve into self-loathing based on my presence alone. I knew that they'd wind up at the beer tent eventually, and find the truth in their third or fourth dixie cup of fermented hops by about eight-thirty anyways. Actually, let me rewind a little bit to set the mood for the evening:
Earlier in the day, Judson and I began a 3000-point game of Warhammer against Matthew. Matthew, that stupid samurai (I joke!), decided to kill some of my Skinks, which made me sad. I don't really remember much esle about that. Moving on, my car's cancer finally managed to prove itself malignant, and thus worthy of being cursed at for quite nearly half an hour. Quite a feat for me, I assure you, whose vocabulary of insults and swearwords is rather quite limited. Anyfuckingway, this changed my plans a bit, as I now needed to find a way to get John to and from work tonight. Hooray for Judson the taxi! (hint, hint -> he works for Faygo!) The show went well, I guess, but who really cares?
Anyways, we finally get to my place, and my brother has basically scared off any decent people from whom I may or may not have had a chance receiving fellatio. Regardless, you understand the principle. This ragtag crew, at first, consisted of approximately three males - assumedly one who was at least twenty-one - and seven or so females. And over forty bottles of alcoholic whatever. Okay, whatever, Judson and I were hungry, so the three of us decided to traipse around the Field Days for some overpriced food. Why Judson felt it necessary to spend five dollars on some fried dough topped with tree jizz, I don't know. I hope he enjoyed it though. I ate some stuff, spent about five dollars total. Not bad. It's about as close to being fat as I can get, so whatever. At any rate, the clock wound down, and we headed back to my house (because that's where the car was - silly us!), and lo! there were more people there. Egads. We, the three, plus a friend we picked up at the Field Days, went to Denny's for coffee a bit of coffee coffee.
John was superduper and got us some crayons and coloring thingies. I fucking stomped every four year-old that had ever submitted a picture to that place, then wiped their underdeveloped bodies off the floor with their mommas labia. And I did it with only three crayons. Bitches. That was all that really mattered about that part of the night. We went back to my house, again.
Now, there were just underage people lying about, and as I had just ingested a stomach's worth of saturated fats, half a dozen cups of 24-hour service coffee, and proved myself superior to some toddlers, I felt pretty good about myself. Strong like bull, if you will. Many had begun to pass out, either from drinking too much, or from the lack of energy due to vomiting up anything that their pathetic bodies could have broken down for nutrition. Or sexual exhaustion, I suppose - there was, indeed, one fellow that was passed out naked on my brother's bed. At any rate, there were beer cans and bottles strewn everywhere, many of the floors smellt of bile, and there were people in my room.
Oh fuck no.
As quick as I could I leapt up the stairs, taking them four at a time in an adrenaline-fueled pseudo-rage. I kicked in the door to my room, which was open anyways, but, again, it's the principle of the thing that counts. There were two girls lying in my bed, but instead of making out like normal, drunk, teenage girls (of any age) should be doing, they were just sort of lying there 'sleeping.' Well, not only was I fucking pissed that these people were in my room without my permission, but I was still a little on the grumpy side from not being able to get my winky whacked earlier. I therefore dropped my pants, exposing my ever-erect (dude, just ask any of my friends) super wang, and stood at the edge of the bed, eyeing the girl closest.
She was actually pretty cute - I'd been eyeing her the first couple of times we checked in - and despite her being around thirteen or so (I think I heard someone say) I felt that we made that 'special' sort of connection. So I felt no remorse in just jamming my cock right into her eye. I'm pretty sure that if I had been more traditional about it, things would have been okay, and there would likely have been a lot less screaming on her part, but like I said, I was a little upset, and really I wanted to try something new. I guess she was fine by it, because after awhile the screaming subsided and she just went limp to enjoy it. Let me tell you, that was nice. I was so caught up in things that I didn't even realize we'd woken up her friend, who was staring at us like we were fucking crazyass retards, or had the plague or some shit... Until it dawned on me that she was just upset we hadn't asked her to join.
Who am I to say no, right? The first girl was tired, so I let her go back to sleep on the floor while I crawled across the bed to girl number two. She wasn't as good-looking as the first one, but still not bad, so why not? She was sitting against the wall with her mouth wide open, so it was pretty easy to tell what she wanted - and I let her have it. She must not have had much practice, because she started doing some weird things with her head, but when I finally got a firm grip on her face things started to go much better. She had a purdy mouth n_- Now it usually takes me a while to get going, but I got hard and came again pretty fucking fast, which is just downright amazing, and it got me thinking... Blood must be the most underrated lubricant/aphrodisiac in the world! Or at least here in Apalachin, anyways.
The power of my spunk was just too much for poor girl number two to handle, and she passed out on the spot as well, but she'd done her job, so I let the two of them sleep and left my room. Best rent I ever collected! However, just thinking about what I'd just done was getting me excited again, and Mr. Happy suggested we take a look in my brother's room where the couple had been doing the nasty before I got back home. The dude was just lying passed out on Sean's bed which was totally cool, because I knew exactly how trying this kinda shit could get, and the girl was curled up on my brother's floor. She had her clothes back on, which I took to mean she had enough energy left in her for another round - she was just chillin for now 'cause her man was out of commission for a bit.
"Don't worry dude, I'll finish her off for ya."
Too bad girl number two had sucked all the lube off of my dick, and the way things were going tonight, I was finishing pretty fast. I wanted to do this boy proud, yanno? Lucky for me my brother is a goddamned sociopath and has knives just lying around his room. I hefted the closest one in my hand, walked over to the guy, and drove it into his abdomen. One quick slice was enough - which surprised the hell out of me - and it provided us with more than enough of the good stuff than we'd probably ever use. I also fished around in the guy and cut out some of his intestines 'cause I figured he was sleeping and could spare them for a little bit. He actually got all uppity during this, and I started to worry that he was a little possesive, but once he saw what I was doing, I think, he started to calm down, and eventually went back to sleep. Cool guy.
Anyways, the girl woke up during my little bit of thoughtfulness, which was cool and all 'cause I didn't really want to start without her. She was so amazed (let's face it, I really am amazing) that she just sat there while I tore down her pants and pushed her to her knees. I wrapped the guy's intestine around the base of my dick all nice and snug so that I wouldn't come too soon, and entered her from behind. Better than girl number two, not as hot as girl number one, but c'mon, pussy is pussy, right guys? And man was I tearing that shit up! It went on for so long, though, that I started to lose my erection - but I had an idea! I reached over to the guy, slathered my jimmy in some more wunderblut, and made a nice swift change to the gal's rear repository.
Man, you should have seen the look on her face! I actually laughed at first, but soon realized that if I didn't keep my concentration, things were going to get messy pretty fast. Her ass was seriously that sweet. It was too good to just not go full throttle, so did I ever let her have it. She was really nice, though, keeping quiet about it (didn't want to wake the people downstairs, even though I like it when the girls make a little noise), so I gave her the courtesy of a reacharound. I couldn't take much more of it though so I finally ripped off the guy's organ from my organ (haha, get it!?) and emptied myself right there in her. Whew, was that ever an adventure! She just sort of collapsed in a heap when I pulled out, which was totally understandable, and I wiped myself off with her blanket before I pulled my pants up and left.
I figured it would be kind of awkward (among other things) in the morning if I were to stay overnight, even if it was my house and my room, so I crept out as quietly as I could, and found my crew downstairs just hanging around talking. I left with John and Jud after talking for awhile, and crashed on another friend's couch. Now I just need to find a way to get to work tonight. Yay -_-;
Peacenuts.
Earlier in the day, Judson and I began a 3000-point game of Warhammer against Matthew. Matthew, that stupid samurai (I joke!), decided to kill some of my Skinks, which made me sad. I don't really remember much esle about that. Moving on, my car's cancer finally managed to prove itself malignant, and thus worthy of being cursed at for quite nearly half an hour. Quite a feat for me, I assure you, whose vocabulary of insults and swearwords is rather quite limited. Anyfuckingway, this changed my plans a bit, as I now needed to find a way to get John to and from work tonight. Hooray for Judson the taxi! (hint, hint -> he works for Faygo!) The show went well, I guess, but who really cares?
Anyways, we finally get to my place, and my brother has basically scared off any decent people from whom I may or may not have had a chance receiving fellatio. Regardless, you understand the principle. This ragtag crew, at first, consisted of approximately three males - assumedly one who was at least twenty-one - and seven or so females. And over forty bottles of alcoholic whatever. Okay, whatever, Judson and I were hungry, so the three of us decided to traipse around the Field Days for some overpriced food. Why Judson felt it necessary to spend five dollars on some fried dough topped with tree jizz, I don't know. I hope he enjoyed it though. I ate some stuff, spent about five dollars total. Not bad. It's about as close to being fat as I can get, so whatever. At any rate, the clock wound down, and we headed back to my house (because that's where the car was - silly us!), and lo! there were more people there. Egads. We, the three, plus a friend we picked up at the Field Days, went to Denny's for coffee a bit of coffee coffee.
John was superduper and got us some crayons and coloring thingies. I fucking stomped every four year-old that had ever submitted a picture to that place, then wiped their underdeveloped bodies off the floor with their mommas labia. And I did it with only three crayons. Bitches. That was all that really mattered about that part of the night. We went back to my house, again.
Now, there were just underage people lying about, and as I had just ingested a stomach's worth of saturated fats, half a dozen cups of 24-hour service coffee, and proved myself superior to some toddlers, I felt pretty good about myself. Strong like bull, if you will. Many had begun to pass out, either from drinking too much, or from the lack of energy due to vomiting up anything that their pathetic bodies could have broken down for nutrition. Or sexual exhaustion, I suppose - there was, indeed, one fellow that was passed out naked on my brother's bed. At any rate, there were beer cans and bottles strewn everywhere, many of the floors smellt of bile, and there were people in my room.
Oh fuck no.
As quick as I could I leapt up the stairs, taking them four at a time in an adrenaline-fueled pseudo-rage. I kicked in the door to my room, which was open anyways, but, again, it's the principle of the thing that counts. There were two girls lying in my bed, but instead of making out like normal, drunk, teenage girls (of any age) should be doing, they were just sort of lying there 'sleeping.' Well, not only was I fucking pissed that these people were in my room without my permission, but I was still a little on the grumpy side from not being able to get my winky whacked earlier. I therefore dropped my pants, exposing my ever-erect (dude, just ask any of my friends) super wang, and stood at the edge of the bed, eyeing the girl closest.
She was actually pretty cute - I'd been eyeing her the first couple of times we checked in - and despite her being around thirteen or so (I think I heard someone say) I felt that we made that 'special' sort of connection. So I felt no remorse in just jamming my cock right into her eye. I'm pretty sure that if I had been more traditional about it, things would have been okay, and there would likely have been a lot less screaming on her part, but like I said, I was a little upset, and really I wanted to try something new. I guess she was fine by it, because after awhile the screaming subsided and she just went limp to enjoy it. Let me tell you, that was nice. I was so caught up in things that I didn't even realize we'd woken up her friend, who was staring at us like we were fucking crazyass retards, or had the plague or some shit... Until it dawned on me that she was just upset we hadn't asked her to join.
Who am I to say no, right? The first girl was tired, so I let her go back to sleep on the floor while I crawled across the bed to girl number two. She wasn't as good-looking as the first one, but still not bad, so why not? She was sitting against the wall with her mouth wide open, so it was pretty easy to tell what she wanted - and I let her have it. She must not have had much practice, because she started doing some weird things with her head, but when I finally got a firm grip on her face things started to go much better. She had a purdy mouth n_- Now it usually takes me a while to get going, but I got hard and came again pretty fucking fast, which is just downright amazing, and it got me thinking... Blood must be the most underrated lubricant/aphrodisiac in the world! Or at least here in Apalachin, anyways.
The power of my spunk was just too much for poor girl number two to handle, and she passed out on the spot as well, but she'd done her job, so I let the two of them sleep and left my room. Best rent I ever collected! However, just thinking about what I'd just done was getting me excited again, and Mr. Happy suggested we take a look in my brother's room where the couple had been doing the nasty before I got back home. The dude was just lying passed out on Sean's bed which was totally cool, because I knew exactly how trying this kinda shit could get, and the girl was curled up on my brother's floor. She had her clothes back on, which I took to mean she had enough energy left in her for another round - she was just chillin for now 'cause her man was out of commission for a bit.
"Don't worry dude, I'll finish her off for ya."
Too bad girl number two had sucked all the lube off of my dick, and the way things were going tonight, I was finishing pretty fast. I wanted to do this boy proud, yanno? Lucky for me my brother is a goddamned sociopath and has knives just lying around his room. I hefted the closest one in my hand, walked over to the guy, and drove it into his abdomen. One quick slice was enough - which surprised the hell out of me - and it provided us with more than enough of the good stuff than we'd probably ever use. I also fished around in the guy and cut out some of his intestines 'cause I figured he was sleeping and could spare them for a little bit. He actually got all uppity during this, and I started to worry that he was a little possesive, but once he saw what I was doing, I think, he started to calm down, and eventually went back to sleep. Cool guy.
Anyways, the girl woke up during my little bit of thoughtfulness, which was cool and all 'cause I didn't really want to start without her. She was so amazed (let's face it, I really am amazing) that she just sat there while I tore down her pants and pushed her to her knees. I wrapped the guy's intestine around the base of my dick all nice and snug so that I wouldn't come too soon, and entered her from behind. Better than girl number two, not as hot as girl number one, but c'mon, pussy is pussy, right guys? And man was I tearing that shit up! It went on for so long, though, that I started to lose my erection - but I had an idea! I reached over to the guy, slathered my jimmy in some more wunderblut, and made a nice swift change to the gal's rear repository.
Man, you should have seen the look on her face! I actually laughed at first, but soon realized that if I didn't keep my concentration, things were going to get messy pretty fast. Her ass was seriously that sweet. It was too good to just not go full throttle, so did I ever let her have it. She was really nice, though, keeping quiet about it (didn't want to wake the people downstairs, even though I like it when the girls make a little noise), so I gave her the courtesy of a reacharound. I couldn't take much more of it though so I finally ripped off the guy's organ from my organ (haha, get it!?) and emptied myself right there in her. Whew, was that ever an adventure! She just sort of collapsed in a heap when I pulled out, which was totally understandable, and I wiped myself off with her blanket before I pulled my pants up and left.
I figured it would be kind of awkward (among other things) in the morning if I were to stay overnight, even if it was my house and my room, so I crept out as quietly as I could, and found my crew downstairs just hanging around talking. I left with John and Jud after talking for awhile, and crashed on another friend's couch. Now I just need to find a way to get to work tonight. Yay -_-;
Peacenuts.