You are loved, my dear. More than you can ever know. Since the first time I saw you, you were about 6, you have been the sweetest young man that I have known. Pick your friends more wisely, and girls more wisely still. That you can feel pain is a blessing, as some of us have numbed it out. But that also means you can feel joy. Don't dwell on your pain, look to your future, what you want, what you can achieve. If you don't think that there is one, then you are so wrong. Many of us have gone through what you are going through, and came out the other side stronger. You will, too. Bank on it. Plan on it.
That is what I'm told... I guess that being told that is proof in itself... But for a person that is so physical like I am, I need solid proof, I need to be told, need to be shown... I need to feel love. All I feel is void. Everytime something good walks (or rolls) into my life... I have such a great feeling, and I strive not to disrupt it. All I end up doing is distroying it; I fuck everything up. Nothing goes right, nothing feels right, nothing in my life is right. I'm not sure I should even be. Other people may have gone through what I'm going through... but try doing it every second of everyday since you've been able to comprehend feelings. Try wading through the muck of my mind, and see if you dont end up drownding. I'm pulling myself down with my fears...
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Know that you are loved.
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