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Character: Dorothy.
Series: Drug-On.
Character Age: Appears to be in her early twenties, is actually far older.
Job: Relationship Lubricator.
Canon: Ruling the world might not be as difficult as you think. You just have to go to the island "Dragon's Beak" and take a dip in the fountain there -- it supposedly has the power of the gods, and will grant your wish. There's strings attached, of course, if you happen to be "incompatible" with the fountain's magic it will turn you into a deformed monster with tentacles of forty-seven arms or something. And the island is guarded by magic users called "Takers" who can bend command an element -- water, air or earth. Partnered with each Taker is a "Valet" -- a companion who is part of the Taker's heart, both literally and metaphorically.
Dorothy is the Valet to the Taker of the air, Jack. Where Jack is a "childish, egotistical tyrant", Dorothy is a mature and compassionate friend. She's the older sister type in the series, making sure that Jack eats his vegetables and smacks him when he talks about tits too much. Dorothy is far more easily scandalized than her womanizing Taker. She shares in Jack's good natured attitude, and cheerfully supports him.In short, Dorothy will look out for you, and let you cry on her shoulder, but she'll also smack you if you need it.
Sample Post:
There's a lot of things that aren't quite right with this scenario. Undead and mostly-dead aside -- I'm not meaning to dismiss you so quickly but there are some rather deformed corpses back home as well -- getting hired on such short notice is a little suspicious. I'm truly and honestly flattered that Madame Sayre would seek me out as a counselor for Camp Ef Yu Dai but I don't really advertise my services ... I guess, either way I'm here now, courtesy of her rather forthright transportation team. And the hiring bonus was nice as well, they even had a ticket to that thing I like. Oh! I'm sorry, enough rambling, let's move on to introductions.
My name is Dorothy, and I much prefer it to any variation of groaning. While groaning may be appropriate where you come from, it's hardly any way to communicate. I understand that speech may be difficult for some of you, but you have to straighten your backs and work those jaws. And tongues, and lips, and -- don't be lewd about it! Anyway, I've apparently been hired to be ... ah ... your “relationship lubricator." That's a bit awkward to say, isn't it? And I'm not actually lubricating anything! Think of it this way, sometimes a relationship needs an extra push to help it glide smoothly.
I've never really done this in any official capacity before and this kind of thing is usually a benefit for friends, right? Luckily for us Madame Sayre thought ahead and gave me this starter kit. She really does think of everything but courtesy, doesn't she? Not to speak ill of one's employers, but I do feel a bit poleaxed by all this. That's neither here nor there, I guess, so let's begin.
Here we go, step one is to bring couples together. That seems a bit obvious, doesn't it? I do hope she doesn't mean physically because if you have a kink in that part of your relationship I'm not sure I can do anything for you, lubricator or not. Then we're to discuss feelings and the desires of each side. That's the important part, I think. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding can cause everyone a lot of grief. Step two, it looks like someone wrote "put it in" and then crossed it out with a notice that ... oh. Oh my. I'm sorry, I think we'll just leave step three blank. And step four is to profit. I do hope that "profit" refers to the fact that you will now have a fuller and richer understanding of each other. 96.3%