Living Dead Girl
For the first 30 New Year's Days of my life, it was just another day; maybe a reason to stay up or sleep in late, eat and drink too much, spend time with friends and family and assist them in making poor life choices. But 2014 is different, because the last two months of 2013 were different. In the beginning of November, 2013 went from being just another bad year to being the year I got treatment for my long suffered, deep, chemical depression. This makes 2014 a truly NEW year for the NEW(old) me. My struggle with depression and the fog it creates is gone and, in retrospect, I've realized that I am NOT the person my depression creates. I am not lazy or unworthy or ugly or undeserving of happiness. I was a walking, breathing, living dead girl for as long as recent memory goes back. And now I'm not. Now I'm me. And with this new year comes an opportunity for me to let go of the guilt and pain that comes with the death of my depression. I don't write this for pity, I write this for myself. I write this as a reminder that I am worthy of all the amazing things that come with living in America in 2014. I write this as a celebration of life and what it can and should be. I write this to remember what life should NEVER be. I write this for me, the person that I was, the person that I am now and the person I will become. Because now I'm back, and it's so on.