Life
So, this Christmas was so so. I mean, spending it with the family that I do have left, it went awesome. However, I was minus someone I really love and care about. He practically raised me, taught me everything I know. He taught me to be nice to others, no matter what happens. We are not to judge, that's left up to God. Forgive and forget.
He was and is the most incredible person I have ever known. He never thought badly of anyone, even if they betrayed him in some way, he was able to forgive. I can only WISH that I could be half the person he was. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART and he's gone. It's times like these that question your faith...makes you think WHY!?! I guess in all fact, we're all going to die someday...you can't last forever. I hate to think of it as dying though. You're not really dying, your spirit still lives on. I feel like he's watching over me, like he's still by my side. It's so hard to deal with though, so hard to get through. Sometimes I wonder myself if I'm going to make it through...I still have doubts. The main fact is that I'm trying.
Everyone keeps saying.."talk to your parents, they'll help.." Yeah, because as well all know, my parents are great with words!
I've tried millions of times, but it seems like they just don't care. It's either that ot they don't know how to deal with it themselves. But c'mon, you could at least attempt to care and listen. Even if you don't know how to help, sometimes all you need is someone to share your feelings with. Not all the time is everyone looking for a solution...just a listening ear.
This is where everyone says..."talk to God, he'll listen.." Yeah that's fine but we're human...we need that visual. I've tried on multiple occasions to "let it all out to him" but I need that visual, that sense of somone being there. It's like a security blanket I guess. Knowing for sure that someone is listening to you.
My conclusion that's keeping me sane for the time being is...'I guess God just needs him more than I do, to help out someone who needs more help than I do.' For now that's working, I just hope that method holds.
He was and is the most incredible person I have ever known. He never thought badly of anyone, even if they betrayed him in some way, he was able to forgive. I can only WISH that I could be half the person he was. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART and he's gone. It's times like these that question your faith...makes you think WHY!?! I guess in all fact, we're all going to die someday...you can't last forever. I hate to think of it as dying though. You're not really dying, your spirit still lives on. I feel like he's watching over me, like he's still by my side. It's so hard to deal with though, so hard to get through. Sometimes I wonder myself if I'm going to make it through...I still have doubts. The main fact is that I'm trying.
Everyone keeps saying.."talk to your parents, they'll help.." Yeah, because as well all know, my parents are great with words!
I've tried millions of times, but it seems like they just don't care. It's either that ot they don't know how to deal with it themselves. But c'mon, you could at least attempt to care and listen. Even if you don't know how to help, sometimes all you need is someone to share your feelings with. Not all the time is everyone looking for a solution...just a listening ear.
This is where everyone says..."talk to God, he'll listen.." Yeah that's fine but we're human...we need that visual. I've tried on multiple occasions to "let it all out to him" but I need that visual, that sense of somone being there. It's like a security blanket I guess. Knowing for sure that someone is listening to you.
My conclusion that's keeping me sane for the time being is...'I guess God just needs him more than I do, to help out someone who needs more help than I do.' For now that's working, I just hope that method holds.