(no subject)
whats going on hm.... everything sucks, at first it was just a mild depression.... one that would go away in a day.... then i get told.... angel asked crystal to marry her.... understand that angel told me she didint want to date me or give me a chance because she might move to japan and other places and possibly die.... well what about crystal, she has two years left in school, tell me exactly does that make any fucking sense, not to date me for that reason but then ask crystal to marry you, and so ya, that was a lie, i tell everyone, im ok with the fucking truth, tell me the truth, it hurts less when i find out the truth straight from you then from a lie.... i can sniff a lie out pretty well, it all just takes time and it all comes out... it makes me not wanna talk to angel, but likely i will keep talking to her, it makes me not want to be around crystal because its like "your going to marry a girl who is with a guy that is the man of her dreams" to me that just makes me think and feel that your now off limits.... other girl already has a guy, so that makes me think that he is also your guy... i didint tell crystal this part but she likely will read this... o well it happens... i didint want her to question her thoughts of being with angel or anything, hopefully if she does read it she still wont question it... dont know when ill see her next time... i said i dont know when ill be able to see her, it is my ability, my ability to stay happy and cheerful around her that is in question and that is what will keep me from seeing her....
everyone is disappearing, i hang out with Jon, Crystal... and Beth... jon i rarely talk to then i hang out with him, its cool though its the way me and him are... Crystal we used to be like running around all the time, i understand she works yet its still gr... dosnt happen anymore just dosnt, we are growing seperate... it happens i guess.... and beth well she is beth i still run off and see her and be all dance dance....
Emily works, dosnt talk to me... seriously ive tried calling her so many fucking times its not even funny yet no call back, try to ask how her mother is and tell her to tell me everything when she asked what i wanted to know bout what is goin on with her lately and she says "o god" has to go tells me she will call me back, hasnt yet, that was like two weeks ago... its bullshit.... trying to stay a friend of hers yet nothing is going on.. it was a promise as long as i have her number or addy id talk to her and try and stay a friend, not only that but i still wish and hope that maybe she would change her mind and love me again... though that is slowly dieing like everything else...
mouze is gone from this state sooo someone i could just run up to and be all sweet shit and hang out with and run around with and actually be interested in what she does or not be bored all the time is gone...
everyone is disappearing, i hang out with Jon, Crystal... and Beth... jon i rarely talk to then i hang out with him, its cool though its the way me and him are... Crystal we used to be like running around all the time, i understand she works yet its still gr... dosnt happen anymore just dosnt, we are growing seperate... it happens i guess.... and beth well she is beth i still run off and see her and be all dance dance....
Emily works, dosnt talk to me... seriously ive tried calling her so many fucking times its not even funny yet no call back, try to ask how her mother is and tell her to tell me everything when she asked what i wanted to know bout what is goin on with her lately and she says "o god" has to go tells me she will call me back, hasnt yet, that was like two weeks ago... its bullshit.... trying to stay a friend of hers yet nothing is going on.. it was a promise as long as i have her number or addy id talk to her and try and stay a friend, not only that but i still wish and hope that maybe she would change her mind and love me again... though that is slowly dieing like everything else...
mouze is gone from this state sooo someone i could just run up to and be all sweet shit and hang out with and run around with and actually be interested in what she does or not be bored all the time is gone...