All over the place
Well I was going to work out, and I did for like 15 minutes, but my neck is in so much pain. My guess is its from trying to lay on the floor, do the exercises, while still trying to look at the tv to see what I'm suppose to be doing. Boo. On the upside I did double my work out yesterday so I think doing less today isn't so bad. Or maybe that is why my neck hurts like a mo fo? Hmmm... No clue and I don't really care the reason. Point is it just hurts.
I have found myself on Pandora a lot lately. Love my 80's and Backstreet Boy's stations! Complete feel good music. Songs that bring back memories of being younger, dancing in my room, and care free. Or staying up late at my grandmas with my cousin, listening to 106.9 the point until the sun came up. Just to to try to record our favorite songs on to a casset tape. Heat of the moment was our jam! I love it. Plus the girls LOVE to dance to it :). Oh goodness! Listening to it as I write and K-Ci and Jo Jo's "Crazy" is playing. I remember watching Save the Last Dance with my cousin. We would watch it over and over. I can still watch that movie over and over again. It also reminds me of Travis and Bryan Grubbs and how stupid and silly young "love" is. We would all hang out together at the Porter apartments and this song was overly played. It was almost always in the background. Those days were my first introductions to the world of R&B and Rap music. You know what I mean... that soft spot you have in your heart for these kind of things... that melts you melt a little when you hear it again. A blast from the past. I am actually friends with Travis on facebook though we have never said a word to each other aside from the add. Honestly though, I really don't care to talk to him. I have been added by quite a bit of people from elementary school. It's crazy to see where everyone has ended up thus far. Most have had kids. Not really a shocker though.
I miss school. I need it. I was never meant to just finish high school and that be it. I am NOT that kind of person. I crave it. I'm smart! But being so out of practice with everything doesn't make me feel that way. I feel like a part of me is missing? That part that defines you as a person. That thing you have to yourself that you are passionate about. I absolutely LOVE my daughters and I would NOT change a thing. I couldn't be as happy if they weren't here and I absolutely cannot fathom a life without them in it.I just feel like it's time to start getting back to me. After all, I am a mother but that is not all that I am. I'm young and yes I have two kids. A deviation from my regular plan and that is all that it is. It put me on the same path just a more difficult one. I wanted kids eventually. It just happened sooner than expected and I love it. I don't want my girls to just think that because plans change you have to give up on what you want. I want them to know that they can achieve anything if they REALLY want it. I want them to see that! I want to better myself as a person, as a mother, and as a role model. I want them to be strong and independent. Ambitious and virtuous. To stand their ground and defend it. They seem to have my stubbornness already.
I really need to be doing dishes... but I don't want to right now. It is late though... I will do it before I go to bed that's for sure. I think I'm going to make myself a rum sunrise after my shower. I am in a super relaxed mood. It is rare that I don't feel tense. I should sleep really well tonight. Obviously I am just writing to write with absolutely nothing to say. On the subject of writing, I really want to finish the children's book I had started to write. It's a Limerick about a cat. I lost my copy of the original writing so I would have to start over. I have how it starts burned into my memory though. Actually, it is probably a stupid idea. Like I really know what I'm doing...pffft. Whatever.
Ok! Dishes, shower, rum sunrise! Time to get started.
I have found myself on Pandora a lot lately. Love my 80's and Backstreet Boy's stations! Complete feel good music. Songs that bring back memories of being younger, dancing in my room, and care free. Or staying up late at my grandmas with my cousin, listening to 106.9 the point until the sun came up. Just to to try to record our favorite songs on to a casset tape. Heat of the moment was our jam! I love it. Plus the girls LOVE to dance to it :). Oh goodness! Listening to it as I write and K-Ci and Jo Jo's "Crazy" is playing. I remember watching Save the Last Dance with my cousin. We would watch it over and over. I can still watch that movie over and over again. It also reminds me of Travis and Bryan Grubbs and how stupid and silly young "love" is. We would all hang out together at the Porter apartments and this song was overly played. It was almost always in the background. Those days were my first introductions to the world of R&B and Rap music. You know what I mean... that soft spot you have in your heart for these kind of things... that melts you melt a little when you hear it again. A blast from the past. I am actually friends with Travis on facebook though we have never said a word to each other aside from the add. Honestly though, I really don't care to talk to him. I have been added by quite a bit of people from elementary school. It's crazy to see where everyone has ended up thus far. Most have had kids. Not really a shocker though.
I miss school. I need it. I was never meant to just finish high school and that be it. I am NOT that kind of person. I crave it. I'm smart! But being so out of practice with everything doesn't make me feel that way. I feel like a part of me is missing? That part that defines you as a person. That thing you have to yourself that you are passionate about. I absolutely LOVE my daughters and I would NOT change a thing. I couldn't be as happy if they weren't here and I absolutely cannot fathom a life without them in it.I just feel like it's time to start getting back to me. After all, I am a mother but that is not all that I am. I'm young and yes I have two kids. A deviation from my regular plan and that is all that it is. It put me on the same path just a more difficult one. I wanted kids eventually. It just happened sooner than expected and I love it. I don't want my girls to just think that because plans change you have to give up on what you want. I want them to know that they can achieve anything if they REALLY want it. I want them to see that! I want to better myself as a person, as a mother, and as a role model. I want them to be strong and independent. Ambitious and virtuous. To stand their ground and defend it. They seem to have my stubbornness already.
I really need to be doing dishes... but I don't want to right now. It is late though... I will do it before I go to bed that's for sure. I think I'm going to make myself a rum sunrise after my shower. I am in a super relaxed mood. It is rare that I don't feel tense. I should sleep really well tonight. Obviously I am just writing to write with absolutely nothing to say. On the subject of writing, I really want to finish the children's book I had started to write. It's a Limerick about a cat. I lost my copy of the original writing so I would have to start over. I have how it starts burned into my memory though. Actually, it is probably a stupid idea. Like I really know what I'm doing...pffft. Whatever.
Ok! Dishes, shower, rum sunrise! Time to get started.