*Head on proverbial desk*
Edit: Okay. I cannot find my immunization record. If it does not turn up soon, I am very, very much fucked over. Or at least suspended from school for an undeterminable amount of time until I find some way of proving that, "Yes, I have received my tetanus shots and all that good stuff, and no, I won't fucking infect the school with horrible diseases, okay?"
*sigh* Perhaps it's the fluctuating hormones talking emo, but I've been feeling ridiculously inadequate since coming home from the newspaper meeting.
Ugh.
^ Yay for incorporating Johnathan's trademark vocabulary into my life!
I do believe the worst part of newspaper right now, is pretending I know what's going on. Because I never really do. Rarg. John said that he's totally out of the reporting loop, but really, if he's out of the loop about reporting, I'm in a frickin' alternate dimension away from the whole bloody newspaper.
Seriously, he knows a billion times as much about what's going on than I do at any given time. John is the one who knows how to space out deadlines and dates, remembers when the meetings are, knows what needs to be done next, and then HE tells ME. And talking to Laviolette, I try to SOUND like I know what's going on, agreeing and adding to John/her own commentary, but really, I'm just, "Okay, what the FUCK is happening here?"
And standing up at the front of a classroom in front of at least 2 dozen people, a lot of the time, even as I'm talking away and trying to be an amusing yet authoritative loser, the only thought that goes through my head is, "What am I doing up here?" I trip over my own tongue, I lose my train of thought while still on it, and I have the presence of a demented squirrel.
Wow.
Francesca, now SHE can run a meeting. She's been a fantastic speaker for as long as I remember. Though a lot of what she (and Laviolette) has to say to the staff is on my mind too, and I may have even mentioned it before, I can never sound that authoritative. And she connects with people. She knows the names of her staff members, remembers what they wrote, identifies and talks directly to them... she connects.
Good lord. I can't speak well, AND I never know what to do or what's happening. Why the FUCK am I co-editor-in-chief again?
Okay, perhaps better me than Keith.
Nature vs. nurture. I presume to be a fairly loud, outspoken person usually. But really, I think it's all from practised idiocy. I think, just lingering beneath the random, moronic surface, I'm still the exact same shy, not very talkative kid I used to be. And it shows, not just because of this newspaper business either.
Oh, and I got mistaken for a man coming out of the girl's bathroom at lunch today.
*sigh* Perhaps it's the fluctuating hormones talking emo, but I've been feeling ridiculously inadequate since coming home from the newspaper meeting.
Ugh.
^ Yay for incorporating Johnathan's trademark vocabulary into my life!
I do believe the worst part of newspaper right now, is pretending I know what's going on. Because I never really do. Rarg. John said that he's totally out of the reporting loop, but really, if he's out of the loop about reporting, I'm in a frickin' alternate dimension away from the whole bloody newspaper.
Seriously, he knows a billion times as much about what's going on than I do at any given time. John is the one who knows how to space out deadlines and dates, remembers when the meetings are, knows what needs to be done next, and then HE tells ME. And talking to Laviolette, I try to SOUND like I know what's going on, agreeing and adding to John/her own commentary, but really, I'm just, "Okay, what the FUCK is happening here?"
And standing up at the front of a classroom in front of at least 2 dozen people, a lot of the time, even as I'm talking away and trying to be an amusing yet authoritative loser, the only thought that goes through my head is, "What am I doing up here?" I trip over my own tongue, I lose my train of thought while still on it, and I have the presence of a demented squirrel.
Wow.
Francesca, now SHE can run a meeting. She's been a fantastic speaker for as long as I remember. Though a lot of what she (and Laviolette) has to say to the staff is on my mind too, and I may have even mentioned it before, I can never sound that authoritative. And she connects with people. She knows the names of her staff members, remembers what they wrote, identifies and talks directly to them... she connects.
Good lord. I can't speak well, AND I never know what to do or what's happening. Why the FUCK am I co-editor-in-chief again?
Okay, perhaps better me than Keith.
Nature vs. nurture. I presume to be a fairly loud, outspoken person usually. But really, I think it's all from practised idiocy. I think, just lingering beneath the random, moronic surface, I'm still the exact same shy, not very talkative kid I used to be. And it shows, not just because of this newspaper business either.
Oh, and I got mistaken for a man coming out of the girl's bathroom at lunch today.