LIFE/UNIVERSE/EVERYTHING UPDATE

[bluntedge]

Wow it's as if the earth swallowed me whole for the past 3 weeks since school started but I guess that's not too far from the truth either. Allow me to summarize the pros and cons of my learning experience in college so far, since I'm ridiculously bored and will do anything to put off doing actual work.

Pros:

One of my instructors is like William Shatner, if William Shatner had a long hippie ponytail and some deep-seated rage about some issues and also happened to be a lawyer.

One of my instructors is not really like Bob Barker but his name kind of sounds like it and he is incredibly snazzily dressed as well as the most organized, on-the-ball person ever.

One of my instructors is basically HBIC of everything.

I have gained greater self-awareness, in that I am now reasonably certain that I don't particularly enjoy this field of study but I will have to learn to live with the choices I've made.

Cons:

T'was "that time of the month" on the first day of school so I can't say that things got off to a good start.

One of my instructors needs to shut up and actually teach something.

One of my instructors needs to shut up and stop trying to teach before I get a hernia or blow a blood vessel from holding all my rage in.

This campus is possibly the most despair-inducing place ever and I think my soul is in danger of withering.

I have no real aptitude or calling for any of what I am supposed to be learning, which may or may not have an averse effect on my academic performance.

I have gained greater self-awareness, in that I am now reasonably certain that I don't particularly enjoy this field of study but I will have to learn to live with the choices I've made.

For lack of anything else to say in proper paragraph form, here are some other random tidbits of my past three weeks as documented briefly on Twitter:

My aunt called me from work yesterday to ask me what the word "whore" meant, and also to ask how exactly to spell it.

I bought citrus-flavoured Listerine and it tastes like orange Tic Tac dissolved in expired cough medicine with a side of OMG BURNING. I don't think I like it.

I tried hot yoga for the first time, which means I can cross that off my to-do list for the year! It was surprisingly okay, but I don't think I'll do it too often because I really didn't like feeling that sweaty-I don't sweat that much in the first place but still-and more importantly I really don't like being surrounded by that many other sweaty people.

At some point I dreamt I was on a beach with a billion ducks and befriended a unique talking duckling with a lovely personality that was doomed to die. There was even a dramatic moment at the end where I attempted duck-CPR while yelling, "BREATHE DAMMIT, BREATHE."

My mom called me urgently that it dawned upon her that I looked like my father wearing a bad wig in my grad photo, and therefore I really need to consider cutting my hair short again, because in some twisted mom-logic, having a short and androgynous style will make me look LESS like my father. Right.