Words, words, words
Well, what is there to do at 3:13 in the morning but update LJ really? I have lots to say... and nothing to say. The last song pretty much says it all for me right now. I find I am overwhelmed with sadness. Sorrow. A lot of people around me are going through a lot of bad/sad things right now. I feel so saddened from watching people hurt each other and I feel so helpless watching people hurt themselves. I am lonely.
I took loosing that job harder than I should have. I just don't know what to do with myself now. I know I need to bite the bullet and find another one, I am just having a real hard time weighing the pro's and con's involved. I know I can find a mindless, go-nowhere job for minimum wage that will likely make it so hard to do the things I enjoy with such little reward that I don't know if it is worth the effort.
Don't worry I know I am whining. I am depressed, but I am working to shake it off. I know I have to suck it up... I just need some time to convince myself it will be worth it all in the end. That it WILL put me closer to my goals. I am just not there yet.
The play came and went. I was too exhausted by trying to get everything done in time to really "enjoy it" People keep asking me if it was fun, but honestly I can't remember. the one clear sharp memory I have was walking onstage at the end to deliver my lines and looking down on all the "dead" people lying there. It was really surreal. i dreamt about it. I was proud to be part of it. I was happy it was over. Next time I will wear ONE hat. I will never sew with a deadline again. Kudos to the other actors though. I really enjoyed watching the parts I wasn't in. You guys rocked my world. Ian's mom who was the entertainment writer for the Chilliwack paper for years said that it was as good as anything she ever saw at UCFV! Hamlet is her favorite too. She could quote it. Seriously. Go team.
In other news.
I am writing a novel. It makes me happy. People tell me it is good. I am still suspicious. In the end it is the exercise of it that is good. I enjoy the progress. I feel I have accomplished something when the story moves and the word count goes up. No one responded when I posted a snippet, so I am not posting it here... if you wanna see it, ask, otherwise I will assume you don't care and keep it to myself. So there.
*sticks out tongue*
I took loosing that job harder than I should have. I just don't know what to do with myself now. I know I need to bite the bullet and find another one, I am just having a real hard time weighing the pro's and con's involved. I know I can find a mindless, go-nowhere job for minimum wage that will likely make it so hard to do the things I enjoy with such little reward that I don't know if it is worth the effort.
Don't worry I know I am whining. I am depressed, but I am working to shake it off. I know I have to suck it up... I just need some time to convince myself it will be worth it all in the end. That it WILL put me closer to my goals. I am just not there yet.
The play came and went. I was too exhausted by trying to get everything done in time to really "enjoy it" People keep asking me if it was fun, but honestly I can't remember. the one clear sharp memory I have was walking onstage at the end to deliver my lines and looking down on all the "dead" people lying there. It was really surreal. i dreamt about it. I was proud to be part of it. I was happy it was over. Next time I will wear ONE hat. I will never sew with a deadline again. Kudos to the other actors though. I really enjoyed watching the parts I wasn't in. You guys rocked my world. Ian's mom who was the entertainment writer for the Chilliwack paper for years said that it was as good as anything she ever saw at UCFV! Hamlet is her favorite too. She could quote it. Seriously. Go team.
In other news.
I am writing a novel. It makes me happy. People tell me it is good. I am still suspicious. In the end it is the exercise of it that is good. I enjoy the progress. I feel I have accomplished something when the story moves and the word count goes up. No one responded when I posted a snippet, so I am not posting it here... if you wanna see it, ask, otherwise I will assume you don't care and keep it to myself. So there.
*sticks out tongue*