That's it?

[blumerdeluxe]

I don't know that I have ever felt as emotionally detatched after a wedding as I do right now. Especially considering how much has been invested in it over the past two months. With all the conflicted feelings of trying to be supportive, sorting out details of the ramifications, and all the tension that resulted from it all, I really would have thought that now that roommates have been found and vowes exchanged, there would be more of a feeling of relief. I was really hoping for relief. I would have much rather had joy. But now, the feeling that arrives is ... numbness.

In 5 minutes, I rush off to Pizza Hut again. Life continues. There is no feeling that anything has really changed. No feeling that anything is different. No feeling that finally two people get to be together. Gosh, I'd even feel better if there were a feeling of sadness that it wasn't mine and Chloe's turn. But no, numbness is what I get.

I wanted to have joy today.