five months ago I posted this:
"But I wonder if … or at least I picture it kind of like …
You feel like co-conspirators against the world, or with the world, or whatever - point is in the end you’ve got each other and you can do whatever you want with that power and that feeling, if you really wanted to. And despite how much I long for this kind of sappy romantic shit, realistically I always knew it would never happen with Andy Who, with Sergio, with George. And I know of course that will never happen with Hot Thomas either. RJ says I put too much stake into the whole idea (but he doesn’t believe in romantic love anyways), and I say he’s at least part right. But then I look around me, and I see it. I swear to god I do, or I see something beautiful there that I’ve never known, never. ..."
... Yes.
I am really trying hard to keep rational, logical, normal, about this. I should. Knowing me, it will blow up in my face.
But still....
Fuck. This is actually how I feel now, but who is to say that he's not just totally seeing things from a friends only perspective?? I bet that's the case, but I really can not tell. Completely not. Because I suck at signals.
*EDIT: I wrote that when drunk. But now that I'm sober I reread it, and it's still legit. And I feel like an idiot for getting drunk on a Tuesday, but oh well.*
You feel like co-conspirators against the world, or with the world, or whatever - point is in the end you’ve got each other and you can do whatever you want with that power and that feeling, if you really wanted to. And despite how much I long for this kind of sappy romantic shit, realistically I always knew it would never happen with Andy Who, with Sergio, with George. And I know of course that will never happen with Hot Thomas either. RJ says I put too much stake into the whole idea (but he doesn’t believe in romantic love anyways), and I say he’s at least part right. But then I look around me, and I see it. I swear to god I do, or I see something beautiful there that I’ve never known, never. ..."
... Yes.
I am really trying hard to keep rational, logical, normal, about this. I should. Knowing me, it will blow up in my face.
But still....
Fuck. This is actually how I feel now, but who is to say that he's not just totally seeing things from a friends only perspective?? I bet that's the case, but I really can not tell. Completely not. Because I suck at signals.
*EDIT: I wrote that when drunk. But now that I'm sober I reread it, and it's still legit. And I feel like an idiot for getting drunk on a Tuesday, but oh well.*