sitting in class...
yea, so know how i said i would update more..guess i wasn't being completely truthful. what has been truthful is that i've been damn busy since school started - b/w school, work, and errands to take care of, i am pretty much only home to sleep, which is fine by me lately. last weekend i was at my parents, this weekend i am spending part of the weekend at eli's and he's coming saturday night to my place and next weekend, probably go back to my parents. i kind of don't like being in my apt as of lately...reasons that i am not going to get into right now but i feel slighted, jerked around and all around forgotten. maybe it's b/c i am not home so much, i don't know, but still, plans that we made before we all moved in together are being pushed aside and i don't think there's regards for my feelings at all. whatever. i will survive. it just sucks. really sucks.
and i haven't been sleeping well lately...chalk it up to too much stress - school, work, TA'ing, boyfriend in the shit in gaza, the looming "what's next" question w/ the possibility of england, apt stuff, i miss my brother....sometimes i can't handle it. i am holding back weeks worth of tears sometimes i think. i am this powder keg about to go off and i don't know how much longer i can last. i am all tense - my nek hurts, my back hurts, i have made a fasion statement out of bags under the eyes. i don't really talk to anyone about this stuff either, i always have this idea that everyone else has more important things going on than to listen to me vent for a bit. so i don't. i guess eventually i will cope. either than or really just get used to 4-6 hours of sleep a night.
but really, i think i am doing okay...i'm pretty happy-go-lucky lately and i still can find reasons to smile...so life doesn't suck too much....just partially.
i get to see eli tomorrow - i haven't in 3 weeks and shit's been going down in gaza and it worries me. he goes on missions all the time, i make him call me before he leaves and when he comes back..i never care the time, i just want to know he's okay. but i am going to TA to see him tomorrow and then saturday after shabbat, he is coming back to my place til he has to go on monday morning. sunday we are just going to relax...eventually i have to make cookies though, so, you know, his army buddies don't yell at me...it's half of a hypothesis that i am helping w/ them w/...haha. i think that when i get to see him, i will feel soo much better, i will be able to relax and hopefully i will be able to sleep.
grad school is crazy - so many papers, but they are better than exams, so i think that is a lot better. but it is a lot of work - there is a lot of work that i need to do and nothing is due yet and i already feel behind. i don't get it either..oh well. and i still have to work on my presentation for the class i am teaching in the class i TA for.
okay, enough stressful talking.
i am just thinking about seeing eli in like 24 hours..that makes me feel better.
i miss my sexy soldier boy.
it's been almost 9 months...craziness.
i want a burger...i should tell eli to not order burgers til i get there friday...mmm...burger.
i'm in class bored.
i had interesting things to say...funny how i forgot all of them.
i have kings of leon's "sex on fire" stuck in my head - not the worst song, but i kinda wanna get up and dance a bit.
i can't wait to cook dinner on saturday - tacos (sans cheese) and mexican rice...aw yea...
movies, good food and boyfriend - best...weekend...ever.
oh, and i am losing a bit more weight..that's good.
job's great. i do the same thing, but that's what i get w/ wanting a monotonous job....monotony.
and miriam is my most fav person ever. like ever. we went out for coffee 2 weeks ago and it was nice to just talk to her and hang out and know that what i think or how i feel about things is normal and it's the other person who is dumb, stupid and often times, full of themselves. i am glad she agrees w/ me about things. AND she thinks eli is awesome and what she thinks matters to me - she's probably the only one b/c she knows me, we are like sisters. we have plans coming soon, she and i...mainly it includes a night alon is working, wine, some completely sinful dessert and bitching about how people suck and we are awesome.
she's one of the main reasons why i just wanted to go back to living in raanana...living down the street from her is the best thing ever.
went to my parents last weekend and we had a huuuuge friday night dinner w/ lots of people...including mel. mel is like a surrogate uncle from the US. he's known me since i was born and comes to israel a lot for business so it was soo good to see him. last time i saw him was july. apparently he will be back in february, hopefully w/ his wife...i miss her too.
and of course, i got my laundry done.
i need a hairs cut.
i need a hug.
i should probably pay attention in class...haha.
oh and for now, i have decided to not talk about "what's next" until i have a better idea. until i possibly get an acceptance to king's or whatever job...whatever it is...no talking about it until there's a concrete thing to think about it. right now, it's all substantial..what i COULD do..but there is nothing that i AM doing yet. so, since nothing is concrete...there's nothing to talk about. when i get there, then iw ill start dealing w/ it all.
i could still always be a bum in a maytag fridge box.
until next time...
xoox
and i haven't been sleeping well lately...chalk it up to too much stress - school, work, TA'ing, boyfriend in the shit in gaza, the looming "what's next" question w/ the possibility of england, apt stuff, i miss my brother....sometimes i can't handle it. i am holding back weeks worth of tears sometimes i think. i am this powder keg about to go off and i don't know how much longer i can last. i am all tense - my nek hurts, my back hurts, i have made a fasion statement out of bags under the eyes. i don't really talk to anyone about this stuff either, i always have this idea that everyone else has more important things going on than to listen to me vent for a bit. so i don't. i guess eventually i will cope. either than or really just get used to 4-6 hours of sleep a night.
but really, i think i am doing okay...i'm pretty happy-go-lucky lately and i still can find reasons to smile...so life doesn't suck too much....just partially.
i get to see eli tomorrow - i haven't in 3 weeks and shit's been going down in gaza and it worries me. he goes on missions all the time, i make him call me before he leaves and when he comes back..i never care the time, i just want to know he's okay. but i am going to TA to see him tomorrow and then saturday after shabbat, he is coming back to my place til he has to go on monday morning. sunday we are just going to relax...eventually i have to make cookies though, so, you know, his army buddies don't yell at me...it's half of a hypothesis that i am helping w/ them w/...haha. i think that when i get to see him, i will feel soo much better, i will be able to relax and hopefully i will be able to sleep.
grad school is crazy - so many papers, but they are better than exams, so i think that is a lot better. but it is a lot of work - there is a lot of work that i need to do and nothing is due yet and i already feel behind. i don't get it either..oh well. and i still have to work on my presentation for the class i am teaching in the class i TA for.
okay, enough stressful talking.
i am just thinking about seeing eli in like 24 hours..that makes me feel better.
i miss my sexy soldier boy.
it's been almost 9 months...craziness.
i want a burger...i should tell eli to not order burgers til i get there friday...mmm...burger.
i'm in class bored.
i had interesting things to say...funny how i forgot all of them.
i have kings of leon's "sex on fire" stuck in my head - not the worst song, but i kinda wanna get up and dance a bit.
i can't wait to cook dinner on saturday - tacos (sans cheese) and mexican rice...aw yea...
movies, good food and boyfriend - best...weekend...ever.
oh, and i am losing a bit more weight..that's good.
job's great. i do the same thing, but that's what i get w/ wanting a monotonous job....monotony.
and miriam is my most fav person ever. like ever. we went out for coffee 2 weeks ago and it was nice to just talk to her and hang out and know that what i think or how i feel about things is normal and it's the other person who is dumb, stupid and often times, full of themselves. i am glad she agrees w/ me about things. AND she thinks eli is awesome and what she thinks matters to me - she's probably the only one b/c she knows me, we are like sisters. we have plans coming soon, she and i...mainly it includes a night alon is working, wine, some completely sinful dessert and bitching about how people suck and we are awesome.
she's one of the main reasons why i just wanted to go back to living in raanana...living down the street from her is the best thing ever.
went to my parents last weekend and we had a huuuuge friday night dinner w/ lots of people...including mel. mel is like a surrogate uncle from the US. he's known me since i was born and comes to israel a lot for business so it was soo good to see him. last time i saw him was july. apparently he will be back in february, hopefully w/ his wife...i miss her too.
and of course, i got my laundry done.
i need a hairs cut.
i need a hug.
i should probably pay attention in class...haha.
oh and for now, i have decided to not talk about "what's next" until i have a better idea. until i possibly get an acceptance to king's or whatever job...whatever it is...no talking about it until there's a concrete thing to think about it. right now, it's all substantial..what i COULD do..but there is nothing that i AM doing yet. so, since nothing is concrete...there's nothing to talk about. when i get there, then iw ill start dealing w/ it all.
i could still always be a bum in a maytag fridge box.
until next time...
xoox