Let's burn a hole so we can climb out, of these paper walls in this empty house...
So, it's been ages since I've updated, so I thought I'd just let everybody know I'm still alive and kickin'. And I hope this post is coherent, so you have been warned.
An unbelievable amount of stuff has happened in my life, both good and bad, since I last posted. I could go into details, but I won't. What's important is that I know what I've been through and how others have affected me. I know who I am. So many factors have made me a stronger person than I already was. I was on an emotional roller coaster ride throughout Spring Quarter and the beginning of my summer. Basically, in the course of four months, I lost two dear family friends, my paternal grandmother (whom I wasn't very close to but still loved), and my belief that real fairy tales existed somewhere (a boy who once seemed so perfect made sure of that, despite the fact that he didn't mean to).
Maybe I'll explain better at a later time for those of you who don't already know what happened. But not now, because the details aren't important. What's important is that it's September, I'm going back to college soon, and I am going to take what I've learned about myself and start off fresh. Of course, fresh only in certain ways. It's hard to describe, but I feel like this time around I'll know better how to deal with certain things. I'm moving on, putting all the heartache of loss and grief behind me but keeping it close to remind me who I am, what I've been through, in such a short period of time. I'm putting the walls back up around my heart and letting only those I know I can trust (my friends and family) in, and keeping anyone who is undeserving of my love and trust out. Something I've noticed recently--I've started thinking more highly of myself. Telling myself I can have and do so much more and be so much better for it...
I believe things happen for a reason. I believe that God wants me to learn from all of this, and even though it was hard to see clearly at first, I am learning. Everything that happens to us, everything we go through, everyone we love, lose--it all factors into who we are, into who we will become. And so, in retrospect, I can honestly say that I would not change a thing. I may have been the happiest I had ever been in perhaps my entire life, and experienced the most crushing lows, but it's a part of me now. I would never change who I'm meant to become.
And for the record, my next post will be a great deal less deep and philosophical. I'll give you all an update on the generic goings-on in my life some other time. Until then, lots of love from the girl who's been doing a lot of growing up since last year...
<3 *~*Alyssa*~* <3
"Let's take what hurts and write it all down
On these paper walls in this empty house
And when our ink runs out
We'll burn it to the ground"
An unbelievable amount of stuff has happened in my life, both good and bad, since I last posted. I could go into details, but I won't. What's important is that I know what I've been through and how others have affected me. I know who I am. So many factors have made me a stronger person than I already was. I was on an emotional roller coaster ride throughout Spring Quarter and the beginning of my summer. Basically, in the course of four months, I lost two dear family friends, my paternal grandmother (whom I wasn't very close to but still loved), and my belief that real fairy tales existed somewhere (a boy who once seemed so perfect made sure of that, despite the fact that he didn't mean to).
Maybe I'll explain better at a later time for those of you who don't already know what happened. But not now, because the details aren't important. What's important is that it's September, I'm going back to college soon, and I am going to take what I've learned about myself and start off fresh. Of course, fresh only in certain ways. It's hard to describe, but I feel like this time around I'll know better how to deal with certain things. I'm moving on, putting all the heartache of loss and grief behind me but keeping it close to remind me who I am, what I've been through, in such a short period of time. I'm putting the walls back up around my heart and letting only those I know I can trust (my friends and family) in, and keeping anyone who is undeserving of my love and trust out. Something I've noticed recently--I've started thinking more highly of myself. Telling myself I can have and do so much more and be so much better for it...
I believe things happen for a reason. I believe that God wants me to learn from all of this, and even though it was hard to see clearly at first, I am learning. Everything that happens to us, everything we go through, everyone we love, lose--it all factors into who we are, into who we will become. And so, in retrospect, I can honestly say that I would not change a thing. I may have been the happiest I had ever been in perhaps my entire life, and experienced the most crushing lows, but it's a part of me now. I would never change who I'm meant to become.
And for the record, my next post will be a great deal less deep and philosophical. I'll give you all an update on the generic goings-on in my life some other time. Until then, lots of love from the girl who's been doing a lot of growing up since last year...
<3 *~*Alyssa*~* <3
"Let's take what hurts and write it all down
On these paper walls in this empty house
And when our ink runs out
We'll burn it to the ground"