the day from hell surpassing a baD day.
Well,....where to start.RAchel didn't pick me up from tanning bed, I was late for English and Missed my english quiz..and didn't do my reading response, I long awaited a day with Lacey and got the run around for hours and nothing...Lacey turned in a bad driveway got stuck in a ditch...and I'm stuck at home now ... its not even 9 oclock.. I'm sick of the people in my life,I'm sick of not living for my self and don't even know how to anymore..rode rachel out to her house, to gt my tennis shoes i left there really feeling shitty about being with Isaac on monday.. i miss him and i can't even fake trying to make it seem like I don't .. its fucking pathetic.. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS ANYMORE..Just lacey and she is differen't and I'm dragging her back into my pathetic and building her up only to be let down like I Get every weekend..Its been fucking 2 months since I had a weekend or day worth a shit..school isn't worth a shit if i was anymore alone i'd be pale and dead....
I just wanna punch a wall, I AM SO FAR GONE..............Theres no point in anything...............Its been a while since i cut my self, well not too long i guess doubt that will help...its crushing and crushing and wouldn't even begin to make me know where to find happiness year after year i start to say it doesnt ' exsist ...
I know that..
went by pauls and dont' know what that 's about ..dont even know if i can trust him anymore been about since january since I chilled reallydon't know him don't know my self ..hate my self, hate him miss him , miss myself do n't know who neither are...
I guess amanda still is my friend but hadn't talked to her in motnhs sure shes busy with her long time b/f and new friends/old friends
I need a resolution..and nothing in a shot or pill form.........
something permaent..friendship..love...
real things
but ppl only want what they can get
I just wanna punch a wall, I AM SO FAR GONE..............Theres no point in anything...............Its been a while since i cut my self, well not too long i guess doubt that will help...its crushing and crushing and wouldn't even begin to make me know where to find happiness year after year i start to say it doesnt ' exsist ...
I know that..
went by pauls and dont' know what that 's about ..dont even know if i can trust him anymore been about since january since I chilled reallydon't know him don't know my self ..hate my self, hate him miss him , miss myself do n't know who neither are...
I guess amanda still is my friend but hadn't talked to her in motnhs sure shes busy with her long time b/f and new friends/old friends
I need a resolution..and nothing in a shot or pill form.........
something permaent..friendship..love...
real things
but ppl only want what they can get