(no subject)
Just so you know, no the time on the clock is not wrong. It is 4:00 in the morning I am wide awake.
For the past few weeks, and even more increasingly so in the present, I have had much trouble sleeping. The second my head hits the pillow I'm wide awake with the strong inability to fall asleep. And then when I do sleep, I wake up 10-15 times and have to force myself to fall back asleep. A lot of times I have horrible dreams. I had one the other day where I was having a bunch of people sleepover, and for some reason I was tucking my brother into bed (he's 21, I think he was drunk or something) and we get this random phone call at 1:21. And no ones on the other line and my mom thinks it was someone I know so she starts yelling but then falling back to sleep. Well as I go to close the doors to my house (it was summer too) I see a car pull into my drive way and all these mexicans jump out. Well I got to close and lock the side door and there's two people waiting for the men to bring them their drugs. So I shut the door and they start shooting up the place.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all for a while after that.
My mom thinks I'm ust like her and I have too much on my mind. But I wonder if it's something more.
I'm not overly stressed. I'm not worried about too much, I guess I am sorta. But I always worry about the sort of thing that's been on my mind recently.
I think tonight I'm having a hard time sleeping because I'm thinking about Mick.
He told me today he got an STD from this girl that we know.
I'm devestated but what can I do?
I'm supposed to see him tomorrow at dinner and I don't know if I can look him in the eye.
I'm reading Prozac Nation and it hits me where it counts. I don't connect with the girl on the drug level, but she clearly states she does them to rid her depression, and that's why I used to drink a lot. Now that I don't drink, I feel like sometimes it's hard to hold onto life and some people just get sick of hearing about it.
Here goes another shot at falling asleep.
For the past few weeks, and even more increasingly so in the present, I have had much trouble sleeping. The second my head hits the pillow I'm wide awake with the strong inability to fall asleep. And then when I do sleep, I wake up 10-15 times and have to force myself to fall back asleep. A lot of times I have horrible dreams. I had one the other day where I was having a bunch of people sleepover, and for some reason I was tucking my brother into bed (he's 21, I think he was drunk or something) and we get this random phone call at 1:21. And no ones on the other line and my mom thinks it was someone I know so she starts yelling but then falling back to sleep. Well as I go to close the doors to my house (it was summer too) I see a car pull into my drive way and all these mexicans jump out. Well I got to close and lock the side door and there's two people waiting for the men to bring them their drugs. So I shut the door and they start shooting up the place.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all for a while after that.
My mom thinks I'm ust like her and I have too much on my mind. But I wonder if it's something more.
I'm not overly stressed. I'm not worried about too much, I guess I am sorta. But I always worry about the sort of thing that's been on my mind recently.
I think tonight I'm having a hard time sleeping because I'm thinking about Mick.
He told me today he got an STD from this girl that we know.
I'm devestated but what can I do?
I'm supposed to see him tomorrow at dinner and I don't know if I can look him in the eye.
I'm reading Prozac Nation and it hits me where it counts. I don't connect with the girl on the drug level, but she clearly states she does them to rid her depression, and that's why I used to drink a lot. Now that I don't drink, I feel like sometimes it's hard to hold onto life and some people just get sick of hearing about it.
Here goes another shot at falling asleep.