(no subject)
Yesterday McKinley's friend sent me a message to tell me that he ran away. He didn't know for what reason, but that he went to Sandusky and wasn't coming back.
Mick was always threatening to leave like a suicidal person threatens to kill themself. Sometimes to Florida, sometimes to Cali, just everywhere. And like a person who was sick of not being heard, he did it. I didn't know what to think about it yesterday, I was pretty upset that he didn't tell me he was leaving, but he's been so distant lately that I wasn't surprised?
Today I talked to my friend Heather that I worked with at Kiddie Park and who also knew Mick. I told her he left and for a while there was silence. And she asked why. And I could only figure because of his mom, and I told her he was so distant to me lately, and we used to be so close and be with each other all the time. She told me he thought I was mad at him. That all my silly away messages were about him and he felt horrible and felt like he had done me wrong. I mean sure, sometimes he got on my nerves but I was always in love with him. He told her that it was killing him because he thought he fucked up our friendship. He was just so distant and I thought he wanted space...and all I wanted to do was be with him. So maybe not all because of me, but what would have happened if I had told him that I was in love with him? Would he have left? I had this crazy idea of waiting until a month before I left for college and to tell him that I needed to get it out, but I'll never get the chance.
He left a message earlier today that said he was never coming back.
Regardless of any sexual interest in him, he was one of my best friends. He was amazing when it came down to it. I'm heartbroken.
Mick was always threatening to leave like a suicidal person threatens to kill themself. Sometimes to Florida, sometimes to Cali, just everywhere. And like a person who was sick of not being heard, he did it. I didn't know what to think about it yesterday, I was pretty upset that he didn't tell me he was leaving, but he's been so distant lately that I wasn't surprised?
Today I talked to my friend Heather that I worked with at Kiddie Park and who also knew Mick. I told her he left and for a while there was silence. And she asked why. And I could only figure because of his mom, and I told her he was so distant to me lately, and we used to be so close and be with each other all the time. She told me he thought I was mad at him. That all my silly away messages were about him and he felt horrible and felt like he had done me wrong. I mean sure, sometimes he got on my nerves but I was always in love with him. He told her that it was killing him because he thought he fucked up our friendship. He was just so distant and I thought he wanted space...and all I wanted to do was be with him. So maybe not all because of me, but what would have happened if I had told him that I was in love with him? Would he have left? I had this crazy idea of waiting until a month before I left for college and to tell him that I needed to get it out, but I'll never get the chance.
He left a message earlier today that said he was never coming back.
Regardless of any sexual interest in him, he was one of my best friends. He was amazing when it came down to it. I'm heartbroken.