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She sits alone in her mind. alone in her childhood. she sits in it, she doesn't stand, doesn't run, but sits and lets it surround her. it has been nearly 22 years, and she says she is strong. strong enough to let it go far enough away so it won't cause harm, but lets it linger in her so she can remember. she remembers a time when she was to him, what he was to her. he stood tall, protective. he kept her proud, safe, suported. she was his girl, and he was her everything. a man that no one could hurt. someone who would always be standing over her shoulder, standing up for her. always. but as she sits, alone in her childhood, she looks around. he had left her. while she was sleeping in the comfort of his shadow, he left. now, still a child, she must learn to find a new support, a new shadow to sleep in. her own. it's been nearly 22 years and she is strong. she can stand on her own, but occasionally looks back on the shadows of her childhood.
and now for something completely different:
Thanksgiving break is right around the corner. with Thanksgiving break, comes another national holiday, my birthday! hooray! school is wearing me out. for some reason, i just can't get into it anymore. i never want to go to class (excpet for one). my creativity for the most part sucks crack, and i really just need a break.
i have had several inquiries of where i will be going after graduation. when i reply Boise, i always get the same response : you know you can go other places, right? what is wrong with Boise? It's my home, i know people there, i have family, and i like it. what is wrong with staying in a place you have connections. we all know my success at making friends. if i moved away, i would be sad and lonely with no family and get lost all the time. i get lost in Boise, for Godsakes.
sure, there is the sense of adventure in moving to the great unknown, but the sense of living alone, with no family, friends, or sense of where i am beats up the sense of adventure in my brain. i guess i am just a small adventure type of girl. there are a lot of opportunities in Boise, i think i will see where they take me.