heartaches and old times past
...My scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel...
why is it that i feel like this....it seems that no matter what i try my past just keeps coming back to haunt me. its like a cartoon with the devil and the angel on each shoulder. the angel telling me that i can do all these great things,but then again the devil tells me i cant because of what happened. ITS NOT FAIR. i try and forget but i cant...gosh i need someone just to help me forget it, to tell me its ok and that its all gone. and because of this i may jepordize a whole relationship. my gosh im so confused
i actually had a good weekend. friday night went to the movies with roby, katie b. and ashley. we saw the incredibles, i liked it, then we went and got ice cream. saturday was our first swim meet. i think we did pretty good i didnt stay for the whole meet. i hope that they got my times down.......atleast i hope i did good. i came home and i started to do a test coat on my walls for the new paint. yeah for paint! and today ah today. went to church didnt get to talk to jerod, i dont think that this whole thing will work partially because of what is said above. curse me.
yeah so as i found out people think that i am a cutter. which im not. why do you guys think that? hmm....my gosh just tell me that. what because i get hurt a lot, i like to be rough and i dont mind getting hurt nor do i care, i know im accident prone. and i take my frustration and anger and depression out on running and swimming and dancing and working out. so caleb, lauren stop worrying about me, there is nothing to worry about. if you guys know me so well then you would know that i would never do that to myself. taylor it was from a curling iron, that is what i get for trying to make myself look somewhat pretty. but no, i drop the stupid thing on my arm because i burnt my finger curling my hair. damn thing it hurt and it still does. so no im not a cutter just to clarify that.
ok so im going to go. i think i got what i wanted to say
...I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut, My weakness is that I care too much...
why is it that i feel like this....it seems that no matter what i try my past just keeps coming back to haunt me. its like a cartoon with the devil and the angel on each shoulder. the angel telling me that i can do all these great things,but then again the devil tells me i cant because of what happened. ITS NOT FAIR. i try and forget but i cant...gosh i need someone just to help me forget it, to tell me its ok and that its all gone. and because of this i may jepordize a whole relationship. my gosh im so confused
i actually had a good weekend. friday night went to the movies with roby, katie b. and ashley. we saw the incredibles, i liked it, then we went and got ice cream. saturday was our first swim meet. i think we did pretty good i didnt stay for the whole meet. i hope that they got my times down.......atleast i hope i did good. i came home and i started to do a test coat on my walls for the new paint. yeah for paint! and today ah today. went to church didnt get to talk to jerod, i dont think that this whole thing will work partially because of what is said above. curse me.
yeah so as i found out people think that i am a cutter. which im not. why do you guys think that? hmm....my gosh just tell me that. what because i get hurt a lot, i like to be rough and i dont mind getting hurt nor do i care, i know im accident prone. and i take my frustration and anger and depression out on running and swimming and dancing and working out. so caleb, lauren stop worrying about me, there is nothing to worry about. if you guys know me so well then you would know that i would never do that to myself. taylor it was from a curling iron, that is what i get for trying to make myself look somewhat pretty. but no, i drop the stupid thing on my arm because i burnt my finger curling my hair. damn thing it hurt and it still does. so no im not a cutter just to clarify that.
ok so im going to go. i think i got what i wanted to say
...I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut, My weakness is that I care too much...