[fic] can you come down with us

[bluewalk]

Title: can you come down with us
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Luffy/Nami (maybe?)
Word Count: 1815
Notes: Birthday fic for weissofthecorax. Set pre-Sabaody because I like skirting the edges of doom.

Comments

[printfogey]

What a wonderful Luffy POV fic. ♥ You've really put your finger on the most fundamental parts of his character, and expressed it so well and with so much emotion. (And I really like the distinction he makes between a Nami who is bitter and a Nami who feels sad.) Nami being upset at the thought of her and the rest in the crew being a burden for Luffy feels all too understandable even though it's a mistake. Luffy being afraid Nami will leave, too. Painful, but in a good way. (Mostly - I'm trying not to think about what's in store for Luffy in the future at this point. ;___;)

He stops listening, even though he can tell she has more to say. He flops onto his back and the blue sky slides over his eyes until it’s all he can see. He scowls at it, how empty and plain, boring, and he snaps back up, his spine straight as the mast. He focuses on the line of the horizon, the way it tilts as Sunny bobs on the currents, and his whole face feels tight and he hates it. He picks at the grass, focusing on the over-brimming sensation inside of him, like the top of his head is going to pop off and everything is going to spill over, if he doesn’t open his mouth and make some noise.

There's a lot of lines I could quote, but I just love how you go into Luffy's actions and sensations here without saying anything super-obvious; and how it builds up to what he says next in a completely believable way. It feels very Luffy, how he does things in a way that's both straight-forward and oddly lateral and unexpected.

[bluewalk]

I feel like every time you show up, I am stricken with the urge to roll around on the floor and make incomprensible gurgling noises in your general direction in a pathetic attempt to express how happy you make me *gurgles*

Thank you so very much! I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into, this being my first Luffy POV, and I mentioned in another reply that the only way I could write this was to plaster a fake grin on my face and imagine having to do that all the time, tirelessly and without fail, for the people you love, and that didn't give me the happiest feeling in the world, to say the least! At the same time, though, it was fun to write, because Luffy is fun despite everything he's gone through and will go through post-Sabaody (sob).

Thank you!!! You are much too kind to me <3<3<3<3