HC Bingo - Prompt 25
Title: If God Could Talk
Prompt: nervous breakdown
Medium: fic
Rating: PG
Warnings: character death, spoilers for Soldiers of Halla.
Summary: Elli reflects on her time as a Traveler - and her relationship with her daughter.
Elli remembers the first time she let her sorrow get the better of her. Nevva was ten - and the bottom had just fallen out of the Winter household. Her husband was dead and the meager job she had wasn't enough to pay for her daughter's education. In her grief, she'd abandoned her child and been pulled into trying to save Quillian instead of being a mother. When she learned her daughter was safe and her education was continuing - Elli wasn't sure if she felt good or bad - she hated herself for abandoning her baby girl - but once she joined the revivers, she learned that the only safety was in silence. She also knew that Nevva had been told she was dead. That was for the best - it was better for her girl to think of her mom as gone as to opposed to the truth. As time went by and things progressed, Elli came to the conclusion that the Winter family was nearly as screwed over by 'the way things were meant to be' as the Dimonds of Second Earth were.
Now, at long last, the battle against Saint Dane was over.
She'd kept her resolve and strength as best as she could for the past several weeks. From returning to Quillian to find it five times the nightmare it was when she left it - to the camp on Zadaa where she helped the banished Batu - to the showdown here on Third Earth. Through watching her baby girl die for the cause - after coming back to the side of the Travelers. Her little Nevva, sent into nothingness after helping her and Pendragon. She'd nearly cracked then after watching the woman disappear right in front of her. But she'd persevered, the way she always seemed to.
Press hadn't told her and the others what would happen next - right now things were still being settled down here on Third Earth, even though the gars had returned to Eelong and the flume had been sealed. Somehow, this didn't seem like it could really be the end... and yet she wanted it to be.
Elli leaned against the railing of the top platform of the Eiffel Tower, some structure that used to be in a city called Paris, in a country called France, but not many people knew why it'd been built at all - only now it stood in the park of the Ravinian compound in New York. From here, she could see clear to the Atlantic Ocean in the east to the land beyond the island - between the walls of the compound and what lay beyond - nothing but ruin. Pendragon had told her all that was here in the compound was just a sampling of the greatest things in Earth's history - at least, for the first twenty centuries. Patrick told her there was next to nothing of the following ones. Cultural genocide - just like it had been on Quillian. She let out a deep breath and looked down at her hands and remembers helping guard and protect Mr. Pop and how she'd read books - and she'd memorized each one she'd read. Somewhere in one of the reviver hideouts on Quillian were the notebooks she'd filled by writing down everything she remembered - from The Underground Spring to The Analects of Kelln. It's the last one she remembers best for the line that starts the book off - At the end of the road, there is another road....
Sinking to her knees and covering her face with her hands, Elli begins to sob. There is no road, not for her - not for Nevva... she knows that crying won't solve anything. It's nothing more than a release of emotion that's been struggling to break free for far to long. She doesn't know what she wants - she wants to die, she wants to live, she wants to go back in time and stop Nevva from ever joining Saint Dane... she just wants something.
“Elli?” A quiet voice causes her to jerk upwards, shame at being caught flooding her face. Standing a few feet away from her is Mark Dimond.
“Yes?” She struggles to her feet, brushing the stray tears away from her face.
“I... uh...” He took a deep breath. “I just wanted to say thanks... for all your help... I mean, I know it wasn't easy for you... and uh...”
Elli smiles faintly. “Mark, you can't fool me... besides, you've thanked me nearly every time you've seen me in the past week and a half.”
Mark blushes faintly. “I guess..” He took a deep breath. “Uh, yeah... Press told me that you like to read.”
“Yes, I do enjoy reading.” The two of them walked over and sat down on one of the benches on the platform. “Though I haven't had time to do it in quite some time.”
“I know the feeling.” Mark opened the bag he'd been carrying. “Turns out Ravinia didn't get rid of all the books like Patrick feared...” He dug out a flat tome with a gray cover. “They're just not printed on paper anymore...” He held the book out to her. “I think you'd like this one.”
Elli took it and turned it over in her hands. “I've not read any stories from the Earth territories...”
“Oh, this is one of the best... they don't let you out of high school without reading this one...”
She flipped the cover back. “To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee... what is it about?”
“It takes place in the middle of the Twentieth Century... these two kids, Scout and Jim, their father's a widower and a lawyer in a small town in Mississippi... and their dad has to represent a man who's a member of a minority group...”
Elli held up her hand to stop him. “It sounds wonderful, Mark. Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” The two of them stood and made their way down to the ground. As they walked across the grounds of the compound, the sound of children's laughter drifted towards them and a gentle breeze stirred Elli's hair. She turned slowly and watched a leaf skitter across the pavement. It was autumn in New York - she knew things could never be completely healed, but it would come to pass.
At the end of the road, there is another road.
Kelln was right - you just had to look for the road - and even if you couldn't follow down that path, you could help someone else start.
Deep in the confines of a reviver's hideout on Quillian, a team of five rebels had found a bundle of papers that inspired them so, they'd fixed a copy machine and started on making as many copies as they could. One year later, half the population of Quillian had read The Analects of Kelln - translated by Elli Winter.
And Quillian found a New Road.
Prompt: nervous breakdown
Medium: fic
Rating: PG
Warnings: character death, spoilers for Soldiers of Halla.
Summary: Elli reflects on her time as a Traveler - and her relationship with her daughter.
Elli remembers the first time she let her sorrow get the better of her. Nevva was ten - and the bottom had just fallen out of the Winter household. Her husband was dead and the meager job she had wasn't enough to pay for her daughter's education. In her grief, she'd abandoned her child and been pulled into trying to save Quillian instead of being a mother. When she learned her daughter was safe and her education was continuing - Elli wasn't sure if she felt good or bad - she hated herself for abandoning her baby girl - but once she joined the revivers, she learned that the only safety was in silence. She also knew that Nevva had been told she was dead. That was for the best - it was better for her girl to think of her mom as gone as to opposed to the truth. As time went by and things progressed, Elli came to the conclusion that the Winter family was nearly as screwed over by 'the way things were meant to be' as the Dimonds of Second Earth were.
Now, at long last, the battle against Saint Dane was over.
She'd kept her resolve and strength as best as she could for the past several weeks. From returning to Quillian to find it five times the nightmare it was when she left it - to the camp on Zadaa where she helped the banished Batu - to the showdown here on Third Earth. Through watching her baby girl die for the cause - after coming back to the side of the Travelers. Her little Nevva, sent into nothingness after helping her and Pendragon. She'd nearly cracked then after watching the woman disappear right in front of her. But she'd persevered, the way she always seemed to.
Press hadn't told her and the others what would happen next - right now things were still being settled down here on Third Earth, even though the gars had returned to Eelong and the flume had been sealed. Somehow, this didn't seem like it could really be the end... and yet she wanted it to be.
Elli leaned against the railing of the top platform of the Eiffel Tower, some structure that used to be in a city called Paris, in a country called France, but not many people knew why it'd been built at all - only now it stood in the park of the Ravinian compound in New York. From here, she could see clear to the Atlantic Ocean in the east to the land beyond the island - between the walls of the compound and what lay beyond - nothing but ruin. Pendragon had told her all that was here in the compound was just a sampling of the greatest things in Earth's history - at least, for the first twenty centuries. Patrick told her there was next to nothing of the following ones. Cultural genocide - just like it had been on Quillian. She let out a deep breath and looked down at her hands and remembers helping guard and protect Mr. Pop and how she'd read books - and she'd memorized each one she'd read. Somewhere in one of the reviver hideouts on Quillian were the notebooks she'd filled by writing down everything she remembered - from The Underground Spring to The Analects of Kelln. It's the last one she remembers best for the line that starts the book off - At the end of the road, there is another road....
Sinking to her knees and covering her face with her hands, Elli begins to sob. There is no road, not for her - not for Nevva... she knows that crying won't solve anything. It's nothing more than a release of emotion that's been struggling to break free for far to long. She doesn't know what she wants - she wants to die, she wants to live, she wants to go back in time and stop Nevva from ever joining Saint Dane... she just wants something.
“Elli?” A quiet voice causes her to jerk upwards, shame at being caught flooding her face. Standing a few feet away from her is Mark Dimond.
“Yes?” She struggles to her feet, brushing the stray tears away from her face.
“I... uh...” He took a deep breath. “I just wanted to say thanks... for all your help... I mean, I know it wasn't easy for you... and uh...”
Elli smiles faintly. “Mark, you can't fool me... besides, you've thanked me nearly every time you've seen me in the past week and a half.”
Mark blushes faintly. “I guess..” He took a deep breath. “Uh, yeah... Press told me that you like to read.”
“Yes, I do enjoy reading.” The two of them walked over and sat down on one of the benches on the platform. “Though I haven't had time to do it in quite some time.”
“I know the feeling.” Mark opened the bag he'd been carrying. “Turns out Ravinia didn't get rid of all the books like Patrick feared...” He dug out a flat tome with a gray cover. “They're just not printed on paper anymore...” He held the book out to her. “I think you'd like this one.”
Elli took it and turned it over in her hands. “I've not read any stories from the Earth territories...”
“Oh, this is one of the best... they don't let you out of high school without reading this one...”
She flipped the cover back. “To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee... what is it about?”
“It takes place in the middle of the Twentieth Century... these two kids, Scout and Jim, their father's a widower and a lawyer in a small town in Mississippi... and their dad has to represent a man who's a member of a minority group...”
Elli held up her hand to stop him. “It sounds wonderful, Mark. Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” The two of them stood and made their way down to the ground. As they walked across the grounds of the compound, the sound of children's laughter drifted towards them and a gentle breeze stirred Elli's hair. She turned slowly and watched a leaf skitter across the pavement. It was autumn in New York - she knew things could never be completely healed, but it would come to pass.
At the end of the road, there is another road.
Kelln was right - you just had to look for the road - and even if you couldn't follow down that path, you could help someone else start.
Deep in the confines of a reviver's hideout on Quillian, a team of five rebels had found a bundle of papers that inspired them so, they'd fixed a copy machine and started on making as many copies as they could. One year later, half the population of Quillian had read The Analects of Kelln - translated by Elli Winter.
And Quillian found a New Road.