WIP - Untitled Cut & Run FanFic

[bluesylver]

Untitled WIP
Author: bluesylver
Fandom: Cut & Run by Abigail Roux
Characters: Zane & Becky Garrett
Warnings: Swearing, m/f sex, long ass sentences

Comments

[bluesylver]

Thanks so much for the advice; this is exactly what I was looking for. Don't worry about the multiple comments; I'm glad you took the time and effort to comment so thoroughly.

I thought the beginning was a little sparse with just the dialog, but since I see it playing out in my head it was hard for me to catch the problem. You've given me some good ideas there. :)

I was also in a hurry to get the dialog down before I forgot it. The ending is actually different than what had originally played out in my head. I think some of my original dialog was better; at least I found it very touching. When I tried to type it out, though, I couldn't remember the wording. This happens to me all the time; I should carry a recorder around with me.

I was afraid I had changed pov more than you pointed out. Now I've reread it, I see only a few sections that are from Zane's pov. I had thought of having this be a dream/flashback of Zane's after Becky's death, but that wouldn't work since it's mostly her pov. I'll try to rewrite the parts that are Zane's pov so it's all from Becky. That should help with writing the sexing, too. (I hope.)

I think I read so much fanfic that I'm used to rampant pov switches. While Abi is a very engaging writer, she's actually pretty bad about maintaining pov; I've even noticed switching mid-paragraph a few times.

I did plan to incorporate more with Ty's character in the sex scene like you suggested. I decided to put off writing the exact details until I got some feedback. I was anxious to see if the story was working and I knew that scene was going to take a lot of time, sweat and tears. I'm still not sure I'm ready. Didn't you post a link on tumblr to some advice on writing love scenes? If so, could you give it to me again?

Thanks again for such encouraging and helpful criticism. I'm going to work on making the necessary changes and try to tackle that sex scene.

Hugs,
Sylvia

[youbloodysnake]

I do that too when I'm in a hurry to get my writing posted or sent off, scramble to get things written before I chicken out and don't send or post it. I think that's pretty normal. ;) You should have seen how much changed and was added between the first draft of the fight with Nick's dad that I wrote and the one I actually posted. That's all part of the process, changing everything and adding in all of the ideas you have but couldn't get out the first time you tried to tackle the scene.

I think sticking with Becky's POV will make this fic really interesting, plus it will avoid too many people being nit picky about how Zane sounds or not being able to remove themselves from the Ty/Zane relationship long enough to enjoy him with his wife. As far as switching POVs? Every writer has their weakness. I change tenses CONSTANTLY. I don't even notice it, it's something that people have been pointing out to me for years now and I wish I could stop.

I had a feeling you were going to work in more of Ty into the scene. I just wanted to put it out there that I think it would be a good idea. I think it could be a really cool part of the scene to have Becky watching Zane react to different ideas of what he could do with Ty.

Here's that writing smut scenes resource link: http://amirosebooks.tumblr.com/post/53878636640/amirosewrites-put-me-onto-your-black
You can also flip through my other writing resource posts here: http://amirosebooks.tumblr.com/tagged/reference

I'm glad this helped! I can't wait to see where you take the scene from here. Let me know if you need a beta for the next draft. :)

- Ami