(no subject)
Last night I had a dream, but I can't remember it now. All I remember is that upon waking up, I tried to go back to sleep and finish something in my dream. Lately I've still been putting most of my time into watching tv and such. I've got things I'd like to do, but sometimes its hard to crack open that giant book, and these online applications are starting to get monotonous.
Yeah, I've been applying to various big box stores here in Memphis, like walgreens and target and best buy. The idea is that when I move back, I can either transfer or immediately get a job at another branch in the bay. A temporary gig until I get a job at a coffee shop. I just don't think I can go back to being unemployed. That shit is hard.
I've been thinking a lot about how I don't want to regress when I get back to the bay. I don't want to let go of some sort of goal. I want to have something that I'm working towards and actually spend time doing it. My biggest fear is that I move back and do absolutely nothing, wasting all of my time on the things I do now. A fair fear, considering how I spend my time presently.
I started listening to a RadioLab episode related to what to do when your own worst enemy is yourself. The idea is that your self concerned with short-term pleasure has much more control over what you do than the self that is about long-term goals. One solution they explore is to back yourself in a corner: the long term self not giving the short term self any outs. I think that works for people. I, at least, have gotten to the point that I honor commitments I make. So the way around not doing something is to commit to it. For example, I'm looking at a commitment I made to a Crisis Hotline to spend one night per week manning the phones. Another one I want is spending a few days per week at the Memphis Mental Health Institute. I guess that that road I'm looking at taking is not saying no to things, with the idea that I can always leave something that I find out I don't like.
But for now, I will watch the daily show and drink some coffee. Two things I am very good at.
Yeah, I've been applying to various big box stores here in Memphis, like walgreens and target and best buy. The idea is that when I move back, I can either transfer or immediately get a job at another branch in the bay. A temporary gig until I get a job at a coffee shop. I just don't think I can go back to being unemployed. That shit is hard.
I've been thinking a lot about how I don't want to regress when I get back to the bay. I don't want to let go of some sort of goal. I want to have something that I'm working towards and actually spend time doing it. My biggest fear is that I move back and do absolutely nothing, wasting all of my time on the things I do now. A fair fear, considering how I spend my time presently.
I started listening to a RadioLab episode related to what to do when your own worst enemy is yourself. The idea is that your self concerned with short-term pleasure has much more control over what you do than the self that is about long-term goals. One solution they explore is to back yourself in a corner: the long term self not giving the short term self any outs. I think that works for people. I, at least, have gotten to the point that I honor commitments I make. So the way around not doing something is to commit to it. For example, I'm looking at a commitment I made to a Crisis Hotline to spend one night per week manning the phones. Another one I want is spending a few days per week at the Memphis Mental Health Institute. I guess that that road I'm looking at taking is not saying no to things, with the idea that I can always leave something that I find out I don't like.
But for now, I will watch the daily show and drink some coffee. Two things I am very good at.