Drabbles of a Snapely Nature
I was going to post this earlier, but then there was the phone call about Dad's results, and I had other business to arrange and some research to do and appointments to make and... ~flails~ Anyway, now I'm getting around to posting another mess of Snape-centric drabbles, mostly from snape100 challenges.
Nothing above a PG-13 here, and these are mostly Snape gen... but there are two Snarry sets in there and one Snape/Hermione, which finishes off the het mpreg series that spawned from "Backwards and in High Heels" and "What to Expect When Your Husband's Expecting." (Wow, of all the things I never thought I'd write... *g*)
Okay, enough babbling. Enjoy!
Title: Follow the Red
Rating: PG
Prompt: Seeing the Future (Specific prompt determined by consulting an online "Crystal Ball.")
Notes: When I consulted the Crystal Ball and asked it how Snape escaped from the Shrieking Shack, the answer was Follow the red.
"Beware the serpent's cage-but follow the red, boy," the old hag had wheezed with sour breath. She'd grabbed Severus' arm with fingers like talons, as he'd exited the Apothecary. "Follow the red!"
He'd shaken her off and sneered, giving her blathering the consideration it deserved: none. He had no time for her weightless, worthless ramblings.
Yet the words lingered in some dim corner of his mind, and on the day when Nagini left him pale and bleeding upon the floor, they surfaced unexpectedly.
Follow the red, he thought dazedly, feeling his life and strength ebbing. But what red? And how?
The light grew dim; in the lengthening shadows, he glimpsed both demons and triumphs. Suddenly he saw what he'd hoped for, lighting up the gloom: a flare of familiar reddish-gold.
Follow the red.
Before the darkness swallowed him, he desperately reached for the red and held on. There was a burst of something like fire-and then there was only blackness.
Severus woke to the absence of pain and the trilling of birdsong, so lovely it made his heart ache. He blinked up into eternally wise eyes, brimming with pearly tears.
"You came!" he marvelled. "Thank you."
Fawkes chirped in reply.
Title: Let Them Hate Me
Rating: PG
Prompt: Back to School
Notes: Set during Severus' first day of teaching at Hogwarts.
It was characteristic of Severus' luck that his very first class should be filled with Seventh Years.
Seventh years. Old to enough to know him. Old enough to remember.
Old enough to challenge.
They hadn't forgotten his name or reputation. They'd obviously recognised him at the Welcoming Feast, needling Severus with their scrutiny whilst trading whispers and sniggers.
Snivellus, their mocking glances said. They didn't fear him.
But they would.
He flung the classroom door open with a resounding crack, black robes billowing like an approaching storm, and the brats flinched.
Severus smirked. Challenge him they might-but they wouldn't succeed.
Title: Our New Celebrity
Rating: PG
Prompt: Song Title Shuffle (Take one of the first three tracks that comes up on your iTunes when on shuffle.)
Notes: The song used for the prompt was David Bowie's Fame. (My other options were I Don't Like Mondays and, inexplicably, All U Can Eat, which... that's either about Severus discovering the delights of buffet-style cuisine, or it's something seriously porny.)
Severus had never envisioned a post-war future beyond the bowels of Azkaban or the chilly oblivion of a Dementor's embrace.
Neither happened.
As usual, this was Potter's Fault. Thanks to the brat's burbling about the bravest man I ever knew, Severus was enduring a fate that was as ridiculous as it was inconvenient.
He was famous. He was a bloody romantic hero. Witches who had once disdained him now swarmed in his wake, swooning and squealing at his sneers.
They would comfort him, they insisted. They would heal him with their love.
Some days, he thought he'd have preferred Azkaban.
Title: The Secret Keeper
Rating: PG
Prompt: Snape, the Fifth Marauder (How would things have changed if Snape had been a Gryffindor?)
Notes: This is set in 1980.
As usual, James was slow to appreciate the wisdom of Severus' proposal.
"We should fight," he protested. "Why hide?"
Lily glared. "Because it's not only our lives in danger."
"You're right," James murmured, glancing at her rounded belly.
"James, please..." Lily squeezed his hand, and Severus snuffed out a brief flare of old jealousy. Petty envies hadn't divided them in the past, and they wouldn't now.
He added his hand to theirs and looked James in the eye, unflinching. "We trust you."
James bit his lip, nodding. "I'll be your Secret Keeper. I'll keep you three safe- at any cost."
Title: And Xavier Makes Three
Rating: PG
Pairing: SS/HG
Prompt: Every Letter of the Alphabet (Each letter of the alphabet must start at least one word.)
Notes: Dedicated to the machshefa and last in the What to Expect When Your Husband's Expecting series. You don't have to read that to read this, but it might make more sense if you know that series deals with het mpreg-Severus gets up the duff as a consequence of an experiment in Polyjuiced sex. This is set after the baby is born.
"Xavier?" Hermione made a face. "You can't just name our son that!"
Severus glared, holding his newborn son close to his chest with a decidedly proprietary zeal. "I can and bloody well will," he sniffed, righteously indignant. "When you endure nine months of pregnancy, Polyjuiced labour and the ordeal of squeezing a person through your vagina, then you may claim naming rights. Until then, it's my turn; I've earned it. Xavier agrees," he added, dropping a quick kiss on Xavier's forehead. "She'd name you Hugo," he confided.
Xavier shrieked disapprovingly.
"Fine, you two," Hermione pouted. "But the next one's mine."
Title: In Plain Sight
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Snarry
Prompt: Gender Swap/Body Swap
Notes: Presumably the warning for gender swap is implied here-and might I also mention potential crack? This is almost certainly AU… or is it? ;-)
It was an unorthodox solution, but all parties involved agreed that it was for the best.
The opportunity to escape from her overbearing mother proved irresistible to Ginevra Weasley; in exchange for freedom and a generous stipend from the Potter accounts, she shaved her head and swore herself to secrecy regarding Severus' survival and his relationship with Harry.
The Permanent Polyjuice Severus had perfected was the crowning glory of his career-and nobody but he, Harry and Miss Weasley would ever appreciate its brilliance.
With one vile dose of the stuff, Severus grew gingery and bosomy and freckled all over-for good.
The change hadn't been without complications.
Severus found female undergarments torturous and the grooming rituals incomprehensible-but the facility for multiple orgasms was such a pleasant compensation that it dulled the pain of pretending to love Molly Weasley.
Childbirth proved excruciating, but as he watched his children wave excitedly from the Hogwarts Express, Severus couldn't regret the experience.
"They're growing up," Harry observed.
"Mmm." Severus flicked his coppery braid aside. "I still can't believe you made me name my firstborn after your father, the wanker."
"Ginny would've done."
"Still. Wanker."
Harry grinned, unrepentant. "Any other regrets?"
Severus considered. "None at all."
Title: Authorial Intent
Rating: PG
Pairing: Snarry
Prompt: Books (Non-Fiction)
Notes: Post DH.
Harry slammed the manuscript down, rattling the teacups. "I won't print this!"
Snape raised one superior eyebrow. "No? I understood that you wished me to write my memoirs, in order to counteract the Skeeter cow's unauthorised idiocy. I understood that you'd signed a contract promising to print said memoirs at your own expense, without edits."
Harry glared. "You named it Severus Snape and the Scar-Headed Twit! You're taking advantage of me!"
Snape's smirk made Harry long to wring his skinny neck. "I am a Slytherin," he pointed out. "You could hardly expect me to refuse such-ah-generous terms."
"I wanted to help you," Harry fumed. "Let you tell your story so that everybody would know how brave-I mean, so they'd understand you. But you made fun of me for the whole book!"
Snape frowned. "How do you mean? The title aside, obviously."
Harry flipped to the page, though it wasn't necessary; he'd practically memorised it. "'I accepted my fate with a lightened heart, leaving the fight in Potter's noble, capable hands and lost to his green, green eyes.' I know you think I'm incompetent, but did you have to-" Harry stared at the table, swallowing his hurt.
Snape cleared his throat. "I'm afraid you have… misunderstood."
"Hah! I knew it! Like I said, you think I'm thick as one of Hagrid's cakes."
"Well, at the moment, that is a very fitting description," Snape snapped. He coughed again, and Harry wondered if he was feeling poorly. "You've missed my meaning."
Harry finally dared to look at Snape again, surprised to see him blushing faintly. He looked acutely uncomfortable, glaring at the scones as though they'd personally offended him.
"What did you mean?" Harry asked softly.
Snape raised his eyes, his gaze dark and warm and intense. "Every word."
Nothing above a PG-13 here, and these are mostly Snape gen... but there are two Snarry sets in there and one Snape/Hermione, which finishes off the het mpreg series that spawned from "Backwards and in High Heels" and "What to Expect When Your Husband's Expecting." (Wow, of all the things I never thought I'd write... *g*)
Okay, enough babbling. Enjoy!
Title: Follow the Red
Rating: PG
Prompt: Seeing the Future (Specific prompt determined by consulting an online "Crystal Ball.")
Notes: When I consulted the Crystal Ball and asked it how Snape escaped from the Shrieking Shack, the answer was Follow the red.
"Beware the serpent's cage-but follow the red, boy," the old hag had wheezed with sour breath. She'd grabbed Severus' arm with fingers like talons, as he'd exited the Apothecary. "Follow the red!"
He'd shaken her off and sneered, giving her blathering the consideration it deserved: none. He had no time for her weightless, worthless ramblings.
Yet the words lingered in some dim corner of his mind, and on the day when Nagini left him pale and bleeding upon the floor, they surfaced unexpectedly.
Follow the red, he thought dazedly, feeling his life and strength ebbing. But what red? And how?
The light grew dim; in the lengthening shadows, he glimpsed both demons and triumphs. Suddenly he saw what he'd hoped for, lighting up the gloom: a flare of familiar reddish-gold.
Follow the red.
Before the darkness swallowed him, he desperately reached for the red and held on. There was a burst of something like fire-and then there was only blackness.
Severus woke to the absence of pain and the trilling of birdsong, so lovely it made his heart ache. He blinked up into eternally wise eyes, brimming with pearly tears.
"You came!" he marvelled. "Thank you."
Fawkes chirped in reply.
Title: Let Them Hate Me
Rating: PG
Prompt: Back to School
Notes: Set during Severus' first day of teaching at Hogwarts.
It was characteristic of Severus' luck that his very first class should be filled with Seventh Years.
Seventh years. Old to enough to know him. Old enough to remember.
Old enough to challenge.
They hadn't forgotten his name or reputation. They'd obviously recognised him at the Welcoming Feast, needling Severus with their scrutiny whilst trading whispers and sniggers.
Snivellus, their mocking glances said. They didn't fear him.
But they would.
He flung the classroom door open with a resounding crack, black robes billowing like an approaching storm, and the brats flinched.
Severus smirked. Challenge him they might-but they wouldn't succeed.
Title: Our New Celebrity
Rating: PG
Prompt: Song Title Shuffle (Take one of the first three tracks that comes up on your iTunes when on shuffle.)
Notes: The song used for the prompt was David Bowie's Fame. (My other options were I Don't Like Mondays and, inexplicably, All U Can Eat, which... that's either about Severus discovering the delights of buffet-style cuisine, or it's something seriously porny.)
Severus had never envisioned a post-war future beyond the bowels of Azkaban or the chilly oblivion of a Dementor's embrace.
Neither happened.
As usual, this was Potter's Fault. Thanks to the brat's burbling about the bravest man I ever knew, Severus was enduring a fate that was as ridiculous as it was inconvenient.
He was famous. He was a bloody romantic hero. Witches who had once disdained him now swarmed in his wake, swooning and squealing at his sneers.
They would comfort him, they insisted. They would heal him with their love.
Some days, he thought he'd have preferred Azkaban.
Title: The Secret Keeper
Rating: PG
Prompt: Snape, the Fifth Marauder (How would things have changed if Snape had been a Gryffindor?)
Notes: This is set in 1980.
As usual, James was slow to appreciate the wisdom of Severus' proposal.
"We should fight," he protested. "Why hide?"
Lily glared. "Because it's not only our lives in danger."
"You're right," James murmured, glancing at her rounded belly.
"James, please..." Lily squeezed his hand, and Severus snuffed out a brief flare of old jealousy. Petty envies hadn't divided them in the past, and they wouldn't now.
He added his hand to theirs and looked James in the eye, unflinching. "We trust you."
James bit his lip, nodding. "I'll be your Secret Keeper. I'll keep you three safe- at any cost."
Title: And Xavier Makes Three
Rating: PG
Pairing: SS/HG
Prompt: Every Letter of the Alphabet (Each letter of the alphabet must start at least one word.)
Notes: Dedicated to the machshefa and last in the What to Expect When Your Husband's Expecting series. You don't have to read that to read this, but it might make more sense if you know that series deals with het mpreg-Severus gets up the duff as a consequence of an experiment in Polyjuiced sex. This is set after the baby is born.
"Xavier?" Hermione made a face. "You can't just name our son that!"
Severus glared, holding his newborn son close to his chest with a decidedly proprietary zeal. "I can and bloody well will," he sniffed, righteously indignant. "When you endure nine months of pregnancy, Polyjuiced labour and the ordeal of squeezing a person through your vagina, then you may claim naming rights. Until then, it's my turn; I've earned it. Xavier agrees," he added, dropping a quick kiss on Xavier's forehead. "She'd name you Hugo," he confided.
Xavier shrieked disapprovingly.
"Fine, you two," Hermione pouted. "But the next one's mine."
Title: In Plain Sight
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Snarry
Prompt: Gender Swap/Body Swap
Notes: Presumably the warning for gender swap is implied here-and might I also mention potential crack? This is almost certainly AU… or is it? ;-)
It was an unorthodox solution, but all parties involved agreed that it was for the best.
The opportunity to escape from her overbearing mother proved irresistible to Ginevra Weasley; in exchange for freedom and a generous stipend from the Potter accounts, she shaved her head and swore herself to secrecy regarding Severus' survival and his relationship with Harry.
The Permanent Polyjuice Severus had perfected was the crowning glory of his career-and nobody but he, Harry and Miss Weasley would ever appreciate its brilliance.
With one vile dose of the stuff, Severus grew gingery and bosomy and freckled all over-for good.
The change hadn't been without complications.
Severus found female undergarments torturous and the grooming rituals incomprehensible-but the facility for multiple orgasms was such a pleasant compensation that it dulled the pain of pretending to love Molly Weasley.
Childbirth proved excruciating, but as he watched his children wave excitedly from the Hogwarts Express, Severus couldn't regret the experience.
"They're growing up," Harry observed.
"Mmm." Severus flicked his coppery braid aside. "I still can't believe you made me name my firstborn after your father, the wanker."
"Ginny would've done."
"Still. Wanker."
Harry grinned, unrepentant. "Any other regrets?"
Severus considered. "None at all."
Title: Authorial Intent
Rating: PG
Pairing: Snarry
Prompt: Books (Non-Fiction)
Notes: Post DH.
Harry slammed the manuscript down, rattling the teacups. "I won't print this!"
Snape raised one superior eyebrow. "No? I understood that you wished me to write my memoirs, in order to counteract the Skeeter cow's unauthorised idiocy. I understood that you'd signed a contract promising to print said memoirs at your own expense, without edits."
Harry glared. "You named it Severus Snape and the Scar-Headed Twit! You're taking advantage of me!"
Snape's smirk made Harry long to wring his skinny neck. "I am a Slytherin," he pointed out. "You could hardly expect me to refuse such-ah-generous terms."
"I wanted to help you," Harry fumed. "Let you tell your story so that everybody would know how brave-I mean, so they'd understand you. But you made fun of me for the whole book!"
Snape frowned. "How do you mean? The title aside, obviously."
Harry flipped to the page, though it wasn't necessary; he'd practically memorised it. "'I accepted my fate with a lightened heart, leaving the fight in Potter's noble, capable hands and lost to his green, green eyes.' I know you think I'm incompetent, but did you have to-" Harry stared at the table, swallowing his hurt.
Snape cleared his throat. "I'm afraid you have… misunderstood."
"Hah! I knew it! Like I said, you think I'm thick as one of Hagrid's cakes."
"Well, at the moment, that is a very fitting description," Snape snapped. He coughed again, and Harry wondered if he was feeling poorly. "You've missed my meaning."
Harry finally dared to look at Snape again, surprised to see him blushing faintly. He looked acutely uncomfortable, glaring at the scones as though they'd personally offended him.
"What did you mean?" Harry asked softly.
Snape raised his eyes, his gaze dark and warm and intense. "Every word."